Moon Flying

It's a comedy! ... I guess?

Kelly is brought in to sell the moon, as NASA tries for landing people on the moon. The government is so set on having America on the moon, they'll fake it if they need to, and they decide they do. But Kelly falls in romance with the Flight Director, and so wuv will lead the way.

Scarlett Johansson and Channing Tatum are the leads in this, and in terms of romantic chemistry... they certainly are on screen together, sharing screens. Not that they have zero chemistry, but it's more like buddies than the romance partners they are trying to sell.

Speaking of selling, this is trying to sell itself as a comedy, and I aint laughing, so I aint buying. It was a nice light time, nothing heavy going on here, but the great comedy starts with Scarlett pretending to be pregnant and doesn't rise above that. You can tell what the story is going to do, and we wait for it to play out.

It's a fine time, but nothing amazing.

I do wonder if there is a standing set somewhere for the old mission control that Hollywood rents out, considering how often we get productions set in that time/place...

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Triangular Sadness

It's the vomit movie! Although there is over two hours where there is no vomit.

The lives of rich people are different. For a start, they are rich. We are introduced to two rich people who are rich because they are beautiful. That is all. Then we get the yacht, in which we have a whole bunch of rich people, the white staff who cosy up to them, and the island staff that actually do work (much like many cruises). After stupid events (including the well known projecting), we get them wrecked on an island... and oh, how the turns are tabled!

While the director wasn't wanting to make the rich people monstrous without social understanding, he did portray them as as without social understanding. You can't just order people around like puppets, but here we are. And then we get the view that as soon as you get any sense of power, you become corrupt. Acton's Law is still in effect.

Fine performances, and the ship sequences are good, but... at nearly two and a half hours, the main sadness is the runtime.

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Lady Scopios

Cynthia Rothrock was a big name back in the '80s as being one of the few leading white women martial arts actresses. (So few, I can't name another off the top of my head.) While I haven't seen those, I have seen her movie from 2024.

This movie is not subtle. There's a father-son gang where the father is trying to live his life, and the son is fucking things one. One such way is getting Agent Moore's family involved. Problem is, she, and her daughter, are both martial arts masters, and so there is a lot of hand to hand combat as they deal with the gang to get the daughter's daughter back.

This is very 80's throwback. This isn't a complicated set up, this is just an excuse for fight scenes, but it works because it isn't trying to be more than that. Cynthia can kick all the ass, and Caitlin Dechelle is no slouch either. The bad guys are mostly bad, led by Jeff Fahey, and the son, played by Jose Manuel, is not exactly filling a rich role, but does fine. David W Rice gets a nice bit to do, and is the most likeable of the lot.

This is not going to win awards, but it is a fun time!

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ReBooted

ReBoot ReWind is a documentary series look at the history of the TV show ReBoot. As part of their process, they got their hands on the original files for the episodes, and remastering them in full HD. While there are episodes on YouTube, and AI Upscaling, this is the actual episode.

I suspect this is just a taster, and not going to put all the episodes up, but a) have the documentary available first, and then b) have the episodes for buying (on BluRay?). But either way, you can enjoy the first episode of the series...

Hang on, it looks exactly as I remember! They didn't do anything!

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Whatpot?

It's a comedy with Awkwafina and John Cena, it has potential!

Katie Kim wins the Jackpot, and as this is Calefornia, if people kill her, they get her money. Noel tries to help her / protect her and... that's it. That's the concept of the movie, and they don't go deep.

I watched this, hoping to get a few laughs, but the main humour is a mixture of "look at how these people fight in a funny way" and "making fun of John Cena".

This is just a nothing of a movie...

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Buttlegeist Buttlegeist

I rewatched the first movie. It's really good. Takes a little to get going, but once it does, it goes! However...

It's been many years. Lydia has a ghost show and a daughter, and is still seeing ghosts. Charles dies, and Delia, Lydia and Astrid are drawn back to the house which has the ghost with the most. Astrid meets a cute kid and.. the audience is about five steps ahead at this point, and the movie is already half over before it barely begins the main storyline.

It does have plenty of other storylines. Monica Bellucci is in this, doesn't matter. Willam Dafoe is in this, doesn't matter. Most of the actors in this don't matter! Catherine O'Hara is being her extra self/character. Winona Ryder is looking permanently bewildered all the time. Jenna Ortega gets most of the main plot, but her characterisation consists of reminding us her dad died. And Jeffrey Johns has rightly fucked off.

Michael Keaton is having fun, but he seems to be the only one. The movie cuts to him every now and then to remind you he is in the movie, but doesn't actually do anything until the final act of the movie. A lot of which is a musical number that is as unsubtle as the Weird Al song I kept thinking of.

Parts of this movie are quite fun. But also a lot of this movie just could have been cut without any harm.

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Oddily

Shudder horror movie? How unusual!

In a far away, overly large house, a woman is killed. Her sister finds out it isn't quite as people reported, and the wife's husband has himself a new woman, and there is more going on... and there's a large wooden man.

Shudder horror movies have a very consistent throughline: that of having potential, but not quite getting there. And apparently this particular movie is related to other short movies the director has done, so this isn't even stand-alone movies!

There is stuff going on, but.. the thing is, it is just stuff going on. Apparently the supernatural is a thing, but the appplication of the supernatural is very... disjointed. Just picking bits and pieces, without any real sense of consistency. There are ghosts, but... they don't mean anything? There are psychics, but... people accept them but don't care? There are golems, but nothing special about them either.

It's a mess of a story that is only fully graspable because there isn't much to it.

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The Jeneral

Classic Buster Keaton schtick!

It's the war, and Buster Keaton wants to sign up to please his paramour, but they don't want him! (For good reasons that they don't explain - so the movie can happen!) He is left driving trains, and when the other side get ahold of his precious engine, he goes after them, by himself, and to get his kidnapped girlfriend (although he doesn't realise it at the time). Then there is the tricky matter of getting back before something bad happens, to him, his side, and his train.

I'm a big cagey about the side because... he is working for the South! Although, to be honest, this easily could have flipped the uniforms and have exactly the same movie. [Although this is based on a true story, which makes it harder to pretend.]

That aside, we get some great gags and damn some of those bits would have needed incredibly precise timing. On a train, and no CGI trickery here! Buster does his bits, Marion Mack is the leading lady and gets her own bits (whether she wanted them or not), and there were others in the film.

This is in public domain now, so should be easy to find a copy, although try for a quality reprint. It's worth it!

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Bomberlands

Oh dear. I see why people are not excited...

Lillith is hired to rescue Tiny Tina, but then teams up with her to get to the Vault before the bad guys do. Because when you are trying to stop people unlocking something, what you definitely want to do is collect all the keys, and not dispose of them at all.

I haven't played the games, but I could tell some parts when the movie went "hey, remember this from the game? Huh? HUH!!!" because those were all the moments where the movie stopped pretending to do something relevent and pause to do something. Like whenever the psycho spoke, I feel that was all lines from the game, and didn't mean a thing.

And speaking of not meaning a thing, this plot is a complete mess. Voice over doesn't mean that the movie has problems, but voice over, with excessive exposition, and obvious ADR patching in scenes does mean they were trying to cover up something. No blame on the actors here, it was Covid times, what the hell, get the paycheck and run. Just hope no-one is relying on residuals here.

The best sign? That this went straight to VOD before even leaving the theatres... so if you haven't seen it yet, clearly wait for it to hit free streaming, 'cos I doubt it's that far away either.

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It's a Tarp!

New M. Night? Can you guess the twist? I couldn't...

The nicest dad in the world takes his daughter to a concert, but spots a high police presence. Due to being the likeable person ever, he finds out they are here hunting the Butcher... oops, that's him! And so we get a sort of cat and mouse game as he tries to escape. And then... you won't believe what happens.

'cos I want to spoil the big ending... wait, let's rot13 this. Gurer vf ab gjvfg! Abguvat bs abgr unccraf! Guvf vf gur zbfg trarevp zbivr raqvat rire! Guvf vf whfg frggvat hc n frdhry!

Okay, that out of my system, yep, Josh Harnett's character is the friendliest person you'll ever meet. He feels a little too lucky to get away with what he does, but it isn't entirely without cause. Ariel Donoghue is a young girl. And Saleka Shyamalan is indeed very believable as M. Night's niece (actual daughter). In fact, if this whole movie was written around giving Saleka a fake concert to sing at, I'll 100% believe that.

I'm not mad at this movie. I'm just disappointed.

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