Monday 18 March 2024

TTT'Omen

It's the last one! There is no more!! We have reached the Final Conflict!!!

Damian is in charge of a corporation that seems to be evil (so, a corporation yet), but it's time to return to his roots of being the American Ambassador to Great Britain, because it is the time of the second coming! And as anyone who knows, who knows their bible, this is the time where Damian kills the christ and takes command of the world... Oh wait.

First we have the return of the daggers, and seven priests who each take one to kill him... and their completely inane plans fail to work on all kinds of levels. But the stars have combined to say the new christ has come, so clearly the right step is to kill all new born males (sexist!). This seems to work well, with a potential problem of one of Damian's main adherents having a kid? But what is a little slaughter of the innocents if not a call back to the bible's passages.

Eventually we get the final confrontation of evil vs ... random people. Good here is about as actively taking a role as evil does. Again Damian barely does anything evil himself, just takes advantage of a lot of other people doing work for him, so why not christ doing the same?

The big thing here is Damian is... our own Sam Neill! Yes, of course, the American Devil raised in England has a New Zealand accent! It's only natural! Sam clearly devours several scenes, and his trademark smirk is the right note for several "yes, I am evil!" scenes. I'm sure the other main actors are also well known, but I don't know them.

There are few on screen deaths, and lots of implied ones around the babies. Again, no photographs are taken. Although I'm not sure if they could claim that no animals were harmed? Certainly the reverse is portrayed to happen.

While this movie claims to be a big conflict, it's more about Damian dealing with the coming of christ and not really a conflict there at all. As such, there is a whole lot of nothing happening. Watchable nothing, but really this isn't much of a final battle as the title would suggest.

So... no more movies then?

[END]

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Sunday 17 March 2024

tips hatM'dame Web

Okay, time to see the not MCU movie that people (by which I mean the actors involved) thought was MCU.

In the casual part of Peru everyone can get to, there are secret spiders that the obviously clearly bad guy grabs. Cut to Cassie hating children (so there's her arc!), who falls into the water and activates her powers, although badly. PEPSI She accidentally gets into the same train as three young woman who are clearly not in their twenties and the bad guy who some people can see if they are related to the plot. They run away and avoid fight scenes because they were only visions from Cassie, which is a cop out we were already tired of when Twilight did it. Cassie pops over the easy to access Peru to get thirty years of therapy in ten seconds of exposition, and then win using Nic Cages powers from Next. PEPSI COLA.

This movie was... boring. Like not even "bad in an enjoyable way". Just huge slabs of "I don't care, I have other things to do." I'm sure some people cared when they were making this movie, but then some thought they were in MCU and expected more. In many ways this movie is fine, but nothing amazing takes place, either in the script or in production.

But at least they made fun of Peter's parents dying...

[END]

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Saturday 9 March 2024

Poooor Things

Oscar likes this movie, so I suppose I can watch it.

As shown in the trailer, Bella is a baby in her mother's body... now I don't want to fact check the scientific accuracy of this movie which has random creatures fused together, but I don't think that works that way. Bella certainly seems to pick things up quickly (although we don't get a real sense of how much time passes) and goes out into the world... and manages to deal with it quite well. A lot of people don't seem concerned with how odd she is, and she gains a lot of experiences. This is a rather entertaining tale, with an extreme fantastical bent.

Emma Stone does the good job you've heard. She certainly puts a lot into her physical acting, but again I'm not entirely sure I believe her "baby in a body" status. Willem DeFoe isn't an immediately evil bastard. Remy Youssef has a nice quiet role, and Mark Ruffalo is also in this movie.

I'm sure people will get more out of this than I did, so I can only recommend going reading what they have to say.

[END]

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Wednesday 6 March 2024

TT'Omen

Because there's a prequel coming, and for no other reason, sure, let's watch more Omens.

After a prologue to get rid of some characters from the first movie, we move on to Damian about to become a teenager. His new guardian father is in charge of a big plant with pesticides, and there's a subplot about doing something not illegal, but unethical, so they don't do it, and isn't that nice in those innocent times. (Of course, the person stopping that is killed, and the plan sort of goes ahead, although more deaths later probably put a stop in it? I wonder about deleted scenes.) Anyway, people get interested in Damian and then they die. Someone points out Revelation to him, so he comes to realise he's the devil's son, but apparently doesn't read until the end of the book and find out what happens to himself?

Again we have that deaths are happening around Damian without his seeming knowledge or control (aside from one near the end) so... this is really just the first movie again. "Damian must be defeated... oh no, I'm dead!" Although there is no gimmick with photographs, just a random raven turning up now and again.

Our lead older actor this time is William Holden, and there are a number of notable side roles for Sylvia Sidney, Allan Arbus, and oh, is that Lance Henriksen? It is! The closest we get to evil Englishman is Robert Foxworth, and you can tell he's evil because he has a perm haircut. There is a good death in an elevator, but again we get silly dummy death due to a truck that is just amusing.

Overall, I'm sure it did well, but this is just the first movie again with some small acceptance of Damian knowing who he is now, so... maybe next time he might actually do something?

[END]

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Wednesday 28 February 2024

Planetaryquack

Oh lord, back on my bullshit. With this Asylum movie that is "what if there was a planet sized quake?" only not really and in a way in which it only matters to a handful of people they can show on screen.

An undersea nuclear bomb is accidentally dropped, setting off an earthquake that will slowly go around the ring of fire from Japan to eventually hitting the US 72 hours later, because of course only what impacts the US matters. Fortunately, against this is one geologist scientist, her assistant, and her smart brother. They fire some orbital lasers to heat up the plate to stop the incoming energy, but that doesn't work. So then they use four local oil rigs to release gas to relieve the pressure, but that doesn't work either as two of the rigs blow up. Fortunately, they can send a missile down one of the rigs to... explode and create a volcano that saves the day??

Geophysics doesn't get a look it, does it?

Also, the scientist's daughter is on a plane that crashes, and her husband is a military man that heads up search and rescue, and his one mission is to go find his daughter (who saves herself). So... they are also in this movie.

This is a mixture of scenes of "a handful of people in small room sets" plus "random stock footage of search and rescue teams" and, of course, "bad cgi". There are also more people just off screen, but they have lines, and it's just unfortunate that they aren't on camera when they talk.

This is Not Good, but as soon as I heard the premise "A tectonic shift deep below the Mariana Trench causes a series of ever escalating earthquakes. If a team of leading seismologists fails to stop the disaster, the events will break apart the Earth, resulting in billions of casualties." I had to check it out.

Ultimately, yes, it's as bad as you think.

[END]

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Sunday 25 February 2024

On the ocean waves

Aside from going places, I was on the boat. They try to make it interesting and there is plenty to eat, but they do try with events. I can't say I was that enthralled by them all, but did some trivia events. In the James Bond trivia... I kinda got more than double second place. And helped another team win at 80s music songs. So woo that!

I also ended up going to one of the fancy restaurants, Sabatini's, which is Italian. It was a five course meal that I enjoyed over two hours, so delicious, but very full. Fortunately, I had the drinks package, so fluid wasn't an issue, although I stayed with soft drink.

The boat wasn't that full, although the general age was retirees. People were even staying on for the next cruise the boat did, but you have to get off some time and get back to work (at least, I did). I am Platinum status, which gave me a few benefits, but nothing that amazing.

Getting to and from the boat was a thing, as I got hit with security screening going over, and if I had going with the time the shuttle suggested I would have missed the plane coming back. That could be more enjoyable.

One last thing, I spotted this while out and about.

The full photo album is available here.

[END]

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Friday 23 February 2024

Yennifer's Bode

So another one was Megan Fox's... I have no idea when this occurred in regard to her other movies, but this was definitely one of them.

People from out of town are just straight up evil, it seems. When Jennifer becomes possessed it is up to her friend Needy (wow, that is a subtle name) to sort her out. Once Needy's own boyfriend gets involved in events, until then Needy is just keeping an eye on things but eventually becomes more active.

If I didn't know better, I would say this is a metaphor for childhood friends who go separate ways on becoming adults, and one might lead the other astray. But what do I know?

You know what's really impressive? This small high school library not only has an occult section, it has an occult section that has the very specific instance of evil happenings that happened to happen here!

Also weird, JK Simmons with hair. Didn't expect that.

This wasn't nearly as exploitative as I was worried about, and indeed the evil side of things was very much secondary to the friendship of Needy and Jennifer. It's largely a slow burn movie, but still moves along well. Quite a decent watch.

[END]

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