Paranormia Activity

American horror movies come in two variates. One is "really bad". The other is "good because it is ultimately a remark of a foreign film". Thus, you can colour me surprised when I found a film that fits into a third category: "good and actually American!"

Although it has been released into mainstream cinemas, Paranormal Activity was originally screened at a 2007 film festival. With a different ending. I don't want to give away the ending, and I haven't seen the retake, but I did like the original ending. It was very dark.

In fact, I liked the entire movie. It is, in a word, creepy. This movie is INCREDIBLY effective at building atmosphere. It is a very slow build, but it is very well done. And, note, it doesn't use background music. I know that can help, but I have an admiration for a story that can work without it (which is one reason I like The Krotons).

The plot is that there is a couple, and strange activities are going on in the house. Turns out that she's been experiencing them off and on over the years, and there is a certain feeling to the story that makes this read as a redo of The Exorcist, but it is distinct enough. We're not talking huge booms here, the effects are subtle, but very well done.

One word of caution: don't watch this right before going to bed. It's creepy enough in the middle of the day, and unsettling enough when watched then to make you jumpy at night, so as for watching it immediately before... that's a scare tactic, right there.

Definitely see this movie. Not sure how well the new ending plays, but also try to catch the original.

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2,012 Apocalypses

Yes, I finally saw the latest in disaster porn. Although the epic disaster we all wanted to see is interrupted Every Ten Minutes by the need for a Family Moment! Every! Ten!! Minutes!!!

Really, I went along to see things blow up, and smash, and crash and lots of deaths on a planet wide scale... and yet there was continual cutting to various families in order to drive home the humanity of the end of the world. I get that there is the intention to make it a more personal story, but that isn't why we went to the story. And yes, we were bored during the non-icing bits in Day After Tomorrow, and no-one cared about the non-aliens in Independence Day.

Of course, the main conceit of the movie is that the Mayans predicted the end of the world. No they didn't. It ends up with neutrinos mutating (no, they can't) and microwaving the inside of the planet (microwaves don't work like that). Which leads to multiple earthquakes, and rising tides that make one think of a certain Biblical story. Basically, yeah, the story is complete bollocks, and is merely an excuse for the kablooms. Certainly shouldn't be thought about or it will cause pain.

You've seen the trailer, you know what to expect, although you may get bored during the talky scenes...

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Ijjer's Tale, Story Ten

Venturing upstairs in tower, we see some corridors and doors. I send my newly acquired imp to look around, and we find large steel doors with two hobgoblin guards. We approach them, but instead of beating them up, tell them we are sent to replace them. For some reason, they believe us [go natural 1s to detect our lies!]. They take off, and we follow. When they get to the tower entrance and get reinforcements, then we attack. [Definitely need some better planning there.]

The battle goes on a while as we can't seem to hit very well (although I hit fine and deal out lots of damage). Eventually, we whittle them down to one guard, that surrenders. He tell us that Verminard (who runs the place and rides a dragon) is in discussion with Fewmaster Toad in nearby room, and his chambers are next to that. Also, there is another tower with women prisoners, children prisoners are in this tower and men are in mines. There is a mechanism that will protect the city by placing large rocks and stuff in the way of the main gates.

Somehow, we realise that our plan should be to rescue the women and children, get the already rescued children, and then head to the men, triggering the rocks so that the armies coming through this place are slowed down. Or something. I wasn't paying attention, too busy talking to Imp-y-celyn [no-one got the reference. sigh].

Anyways, we go back to investigate the chambers, find some tapestries, some priceless items in a buffet [the cabinet, not the food spread], and some maps. And a trap that I completely fail to disarm. Ow.

Then we go after children. Which, on second thought, we should have done after getting other women out of other tower first. Oops. So we run into more draconians. Not that bad a fight [although a lot of misses]. For some reason, my compatriots annoyed when I kill one and as it explodes it hits them. Even though I in radius, I not hit, so don't know what they complaining about.

Unfortunately, one got away and called out to Flamestriker. Which seems to be name of old dragon guarding children. Guess we fighting him now...

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DW: The Waters of Mars

I really hope the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre do a take on this... Excessive spoilers below.

So, did the Doctor win? Have to say, getting the TARDIS to save them was an obvious move, so long as people thought that they all died on Mars. But then he had to be nice...

As a base under siege, there's a lot of time not being under siege, even while under siege. The threat of the water creatures is really low key, and it isn't until they get on top of the base there's really a credible risk at all. In many ways, the water creatures aren't the point of the story, just something set up to look scary for "good television". Instead, it's about how this is a fixed point in time, and about the Doctor becoming the Time Lord Victorious. Any danger would have met that criteria. And I do wonder how comfortable that prosthetic was to wear, will have to see what the Confidential reveals.

In that regard, Adelaide Brooke isn't so much a companion as a cipher for the Doctor's need to rescue someone. While she's a typical Rusty "strong woman" figure, there isn't much else she's there for than to inspire others. And that bit with the Dalek was silly, in that the Daleks were there to wipe out all creation, what's that going to do with preserving a future fixed time point? And as for her ending... that was stupid, really undercut the character. So she's mad at the Doctor, but what's done is done, and her killing herself is going to fix anything? Lindsay Duncan may be a good actress, and gets a good "humanity is great" speech near the beginning, but that was a terrible part.

Tennant shifts into a different gear as he tries to stick to preserving the time line, and ultimately gives it the finger. I might have been reading too many comics recently, but the whole Time Lord Victorious thing does smack of a "big event" to help sell issues... I mean get in viewers. The regeneration doesn't have to be epic, but Rusty's clearly decided to go out in a big issue celebration.

Any power The Waters of Mars has a scary story is destroyed by the sudden looming plot thread that takes over at the end. Had that aspect been toned down, this would have been better, but instead it is reduced to serving as a prologue to the coming two-parter.


Next time: really bad hair!

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SJA: Mona Lisa's Revenge

Depressingly not very good.

The Mona Lisa is alive, and it's up to the three kids, and their dog, to save the day! Never have we had an episode that is so basically a Scooby Doo script as this one. Just lucky, I suppose, that it didn't turn out to be Old Man Hadders in disguise!

Was Elizabeth Sladen off filming something else better? Or was SJS just not needed for this story? (Clearly not.) Did she lament a thin script, or was she glad that she wasn't in this disaster?

A lot hinged on getting Mona Lisa right, and Suranne Jones didn't. Not sure if it was the direction, a bad actress, or the lack of eyebrows, but at no time was I enjoying any scenes she was in. And as for the Abomination, there's a problem that was dealt with sooner than it was introduced.

Bad, bad script all round. Frankly, skip past it, and you won't regret it.


Next time: The Slitheen? Or possibly Blatheen, whatever. Meh.

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I Get Spam

As before, I've been getting weird spam. This one is out there.

Who doesn't like Princess Diana? Moreover, who doesn't want to get money from her? Or from her memorial foundation? Oh, me! Fortunately, I can, because I'm a UK resident. Woo! (Again, some part of the email tucked away.


Date: Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:29:56 -0500 (COT)
From: Diana Grant Award UK
To: [this address not to be harvested, unlike the one above]
Subject: Princess Diana Grant Award Beneficiary-/.

Attention: Grant Beneficiary


This is to bring to your information that your email has been randomly selected and approved as a charity grant beneficiary of THE DIANA MEMORIAL FOUNDATION in commiseration of 10th anniversary of the demise of the Princess Of Wales. You are awarded a grant sum of 3,550,000.00 GBP (Three Million Five Hundred And Fifty Thousand Great Britain Pounds) and for further instructions on how you are to put claim to your grant, you are to FORWARD a copy of this notice to our International Grants Officer as well as give him a call via contact details below:


Mr. James McArthur.
INTERNATIONAL GRANTS OFFICER,
GRANT AWARD DEPARTMENT,
THE DIANA MEMORIAL FOUNDATION
FOUNDATION BUILDING,
214 GREAT QUEEN STREET,
LONDON, WC2B 5DF
UNITED KINGDOM.
Tel: +44 703 184 3661
Fax: +44 871 263 9807
Email: dianagrantuk@aim.com


Congratulations once again from all staff of THE DIANA MEMORIAL FOUNDATION and it
is our hope that you will appreciate our gesture and that you be more involved
in charitable acts

Sincerely,
Miss Helen Jones,
PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICER,
GRANT AWARD DEPARTMENT,
THE DIANA MEMORIAL FOUNDATION
FOUNDATION BUILDING,
214 GREAT QUEEN STREET,
LONDON, WC2B 5DF
UNITED KINGDOM.
Email: postmaster@princessdianfoundation.uk

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Capital-ism - A Wuv Story

The other day I caught the latest Michael Moore propaganda-piece, about how trying to earn a dis-honest buck is considered a bad thing, but at least we are switching to socialism now.

This story is told by extreme close up shots on people as they start crying, and short clips from old short educational films. This is journalism in action!

Okay, so maybe the entire movie isn't told in this fashion, but a few personal stories are used to tell the entire tale of how capitalism is wrong. It's not that simple... which is the point, for me. All these stories are interesting, but it comes down to that nothing is that simple.

The CEOs did lots of "bad things" to get more money, at the expense of other people, but it's not that simple. Legislation was pushed through to benefit the few instead of the many, but it's not that simple. President Obama has made many changes that are not favourable to those people, and the power is somewhat returning to the people, but it's not that simple.

With over two hours, Moore can't really get into details, and needs to show it as relatively simple (although there is a very amusing moment where people are attemping to explain derivatives).

It's worth watching, but does make you wonder how America manages to continue to survive as a major power...

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