Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Cruse of the Wytching Tree

Ah, a British horror movie. Clearly all things British are better, so this will be fantastic!

While her husband is in a coma, the wife decides to continue to buy a farm, and move her two children in. But, wouldn’t you know it, the farm was the site for where a witch killed nine (or ten, it gets a little confusing) children, and everyone is still around. After not much happening for 30 minutes, the scares finally start up, and seem fairly decent, but aren’t really sustained for the movie. At 1 hour 40, it could do with being trimmed down, and getting on with it.

My main complaint, and take into account I can’t act in the slightest, is that these actors just aren’t good. Not a single person is believable, but that’s helped by not being able to believe the direction either. The majority of this feels like an am-dram, so it’s hard to get even slightly invested.

Not a good movie, aside from a couple of scenes.


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Monday, 12 October 2015

Doctor Who 9.04

Part 2, and we start with a starter on Bootstrap Paradox. Which tends to a) suggest Steven Moffat's heavy hand, because he loves it, and b) that this scene was added to help pad the episode out. And possibly c) the writer couldn't come up with a better idea?

As with last week, this felt like half an episode stretched out. I hope someone does a 'fan edit' to trim this down to a great 45 minute episode that it should have been. And the conceit of going back in time to change the past should have been saved for a better episode. Not to mention to cheat of the bootstrap paradox. Did we need that? Couldn't we have said that 'I was thinking of using a hologram all along' was the Doctor's idea, rather than this? It would suggest there's a bigger element in play (ignore the Minister of War hint) that I doubt will ever come up again.

The performances were decent, but the outside location suggested that 'we got this locale cheap so are going to use it'. At least it wasn't a quarry... although that would, again, have been better. And then there's the monster. Is it okay that I had to pause to have a giggle when I first saw it? The parallel with the Impossible Pit continues... and is that what the production team thought they were doing? Retelling that story? Is that why this is a two-parter?

Oh, and the Doctor didn't die. This is my surprised face...

Next Week: Aliens? Or historical? Make up yer mind!


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Sunday, 11 October 2015

A Bootiful Moind

I've been meaning to get around to watching this... and this is that time I got around to!

And so we meet John Nash, weirdo and person hater. He slowly shows off he's brilliant, then gets to do important things with math (don't ask what that is, just assume it's something important, because it's not like the movie thinks anyone in the audience will get it). But unfortunately the line between genius and madness is thin, and John hops across it like he doesn't even know it's there. Because he doesn't. And so the second half is his descent and rise from that madness until his death this year... no wait, this movie is several years ago, so it ends with him still alive.

Russell Crowe is decent enough, and there is a slew of other actors in this that will make you go 'I know that guy from somewhere' (unless you are better at recognising actors than I am... and you probably are). I don't know how true to form this movie was, no doubt it was in the broad scope but played fanciful with minor details.

This is a decent movie, and I now know more about John Nash.


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Saturday, 10 October 2015

Roocky V

I wasn’t sure where this series would go next. The answer seems to be back to the beginning in many ways. And the last moments of the film seem to suggest this is the last one? But clearly that is not the case. Still, this is still written by Stallone, but not directed by him.

Rocky has lost all his money, so they are back in the old home town, and barely getting by. Rocky’s son, Rocky, is getting picked on at school and wants attention from his dad, but his dad has a new friend in the form of Tommy Gunn. Gunn is a mean fighter, and Rocky trains him up for decent fighting, but a promoter Duke wants the money, and uses Tommy to get there. After the TV fight, it all comes down to a more personal grudge match between them that Duke wishes he could make money from.

The most amazing character arc in this movie is Rocky’s son, Jr, who goes from rich kid to punk in about 30 minutes. I’m not sure I entirely believe that Rocky would put Gunn over Jr, so that part of the story didn’t work terribly well for me, Jr just ending up too unbelievable. At the end, the street fight is a nicer personal touch than a prize fight.

This remains a likable series, so let’s jump forwards to the next one!


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Friday, 9 October 2015

Jonathan Norrell and Mr Strange

Based on a book which I kind of now want to read, this is a seven part series done by the BBC, because, I’m guessing, they could delve into their costume department for everything.

Magic has faded in Britain, but Mr Norrell can still perform a good trick. And with his resurgence another player steps forward, eager to learn from the master, and Jonathan Strange enters the picture. As Jonathan learns, Norrell is quite strict about what kind of magic can be done, and what can’t. Dealing with fairies is right out (although, psst, he did himself to help bring a woman back from the dead). As Jonathan gets deeper into using magic in warfare he gets into the old ways, and soon comes up against the king of the fairies and against what Norrell has done.

There is a lot of mythology here, but it is presented well enough that it’s easy for those of us used to this sort of thing to keep up. Norrell is nearly presented as the villain, but more of a pitiful one (and it’s clear the fairy king is keeping a hand on goings on), and Strange clearly has the grasp on magic although it can be faltering. Both are presented with challenging how far they are willing to go to find out the answers they want, and we are with they as they go.

Magic is also presented as quite powerful, and CGI is in full reign to present it. It works well, although does give magic a rather imbalanced idea as so powerful why isn’t everyone trying it?

I could easily see a second season, but I gather there would need to be another book first?


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Thursday, 8 October 2015

The Hoose of 1oo eyes

It's not a found footage film, it's... actually, it's a 'here is some footage' film, which is nearly as bad. At least it's shorter than most.

A pair of killers have set up tons of cameras in their house, and they make snuff films... and now they plan on doing a three-killing-snuff-movie-in-one-night! First problem, getting three people... then filming them having sex, because that's important? Then it starts falling apart as not everyone is interested, and the husband and wife killers are two different psychopaths, and soon everyone is dying, and...

As I said, at least it's short. Beyond that... it's not very good. And at least the sex is shot sot core style, I don't think you even see the woman's breasts. The effects are nothing amazing, but they are perfectly serviceable.

A very disposable movie that tries for shock, but doesn't produce anything of note.


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Wednesday, 7 October 2015


There is a game I've been working on for a while. It's a nice cruisey game that I got for a reason, but that didn't end up happening. Either way, though, I played Submerged.

You are a girl who escaped with her younger brother, who is ill. You arrive at a city that's been largely consumed by water and plants. The aim of the game is to scour the city and buildings, and find supplies to aid your brother, but the city is slowly claiming a hold on you...

The mechanics are very straight forward. You move about, and she does all the jumping and such as needed. You just indicate the direction. She's quite the nimble wee thing really. And there's a boat to control, which can be sped up with collectible upgrades. What's also collectible is the story of the city, and your own story. You collect the city story, but you get your story as the missions go on. These stories are told with images and little four character blocks of text... which look to be simple replacement code for English, so I could decipher them if I cared enough (I don't).

The biggest annoyance is the severe need for a run button. And while you can never fall off, I would also love a way to dive off a building down to the water to get quickly back to the boat. Especially needed when backtracking to get all the items... which I did! I 100%d all of this! Woo!

The main reason I got the game was... I can't controller. I never got the knack. So a game where I can't die? Yep, sounds good... however, it also felt ackward, so I soon went back to keyboard. Oh well.

A peaceful game, not that challenging, just patience to go around the entire city and pakour the buildings.


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