Saturday, 3 December 2016

Step UUUUUP!

I like some good dance choreography, so let's go for the set of movies that is set up on that idea. First up, first step.

The story isn't that amazing. A guy from the wrong side of the tracks ends up interacting with the right side of the tracks. While doing so, he, of course, falls for a girl and ends up having to weigh his street background with the more upscale lifestyle. And, conversely, she has to weigh up being a proper girl with being attracted to this bad boy chap. All while dancing to a show case moment.

What was more interesting/notable to me was the racial aspect. In that while the street is given as a multitude of black people, the 'hero' of the picture was a white guy, Channing Tatum in this case. Phew, because as it happens the hero girl is also white, so we don't need to deal with any interracial aspects. Managed to dodge that bullet. As it happens there is an interracial couple amoungst the b-plot characters, but she soon realises that he is a dick, and falls instead for someone of her own colour. Whether or not the movie intended to present this picture, it's there for people to read, and just made me sigh into my hands.

But, hey, we are here for the dancing. There is a lot, and it's done well. That said, it was clear these were well choreographed pieces with lots of rehearsing from the actors, so in character wasn't quite believable that they were that good, but that didn't seem to bother anyone involved. Basically, it all felt too polished for the story the movie was telling...

So far, not an impressive start to the series. Let's see where we go from here.

[END]

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Friday, 2 December 2016

TP 1.3

Speaking of stories where nothing happens, we have The Vanishing Earth.

There are disasters around the earth, and Ginge gets kidnapped... and that's the first episode. If you don't care about the saps, this is a long way of nothing happens. And in the second episode, the TPs looks around the fair.... and so it isn't until the third episode that the story actually kicks off, and then in the last episode there's a tremendous run around that feels like they had to pad more out.

There are a couple of notable performances in this. Nova Llewellyn is quite the looker, and she gets paraded around in mini skirts and a leotard outfit. Kevin Stoney stands around watching everyone, doing his inimitable eye brow action. And then there's John Woodnutt as Spidron, dressed up as a KKK member.

The start of episode two is an early example of the long reprise, but there are far, far, far worse moments to come. Ultimately, this is one and a half episodes of story spread out over four episodes.

[END]

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Wednesday, 30 November 2016

Original of Oevil

I saw the first, so now to see what happened before.

As I said, it was largely going to be the story we already got, and indeed we do. A mother and two daughters are running a seance scam, but due to a Ouija board, they find out the younger daughter is able to contact actual spirits. Creepy! And, of course, there is nothing wrong that can go with that!

Well... this isn't really any different to any other current horror house movie. Spooky things start happening, and kids are creepy. Shock! The only reason it needs to be set back then is that they can use the scam setting a lot easier. But otherwise, this could be any time.

And I didn't really feel like it fed into the other movie that well. There were several elements that needed to be set up, and it wasn't until the last twenty (if that) minutes that it tried to suddenly put the pieces in place, regardless of them fitting the current story or really set up the later/earlier story properly. One example, in the first movie we get that the sisters are actually together, but here they aren't, until the final moment when they have to be to set up the next/previous movie.

Really, it is about as superfluous as you'd expect.

[END]

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Sunday, 27 November 2016

Unmechanical

This is one of them puzzle games. It feels a little like Machenarium, etc., in which you are doing puzzles with a small robot.

You get grabbed underground and… have to do things. I never got the sense of a goal, and then I thought we were trying to fix some big machine, but then it turned out all we were trying to do was escape. The puzzles weren’t that incredibly hard, although there were one or two where I just didn't understand what was going on, but managed to luck my way past.

There is also DLC, which is a completely separate story, in which you are sucked underground with a companion (that you are immediately separated from), and then you need to get them back and escape. This does lead to a few sequences which are basically cut scenes while you watch the other character do puzzles that you could be doing.

The controls take some getting used to. You fly with WASD or arrow keys and activate your tractor beam with space or mouse button. I kept thinking the tractor beam was a 'switch of, switch off' thing, and not a 'while button is pressed' deal. And there was also a form of inertia that kept making me go silly places. Fortunately, you can’t die and can’t, or at least I didn’t, screw yourself up enough to not ever solve it.

Nice game, but again not one I'll probably go back to again, even for the achievements.

[END]

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Saturday, 26 November 2016

Chef: He Likes Killing Flies

One more chef based movie, this one about the eatery Shopsins.

Kenny Shopsin is a "character", and chef of the eatery he runs with his family. It's definitely a matter of his way or not at all, and even insists of not seating parties of five people. We get to spend a lot of time with him and... he gets taken to run a bigger restaurant, with still his style of cooking. While a good thing, you can tell he's going to bitch the entire way.

If you don't like Kenny, you aren't going to like this movie. Me... I can tolerate him in a way that says 'he's definitely a character', but I'm glad I don't have to deal with him. On the other hand, I'm sad that I won't get to eat there with his weird take on basics.

Definitely more chef movies to see, but this isn't a bad way to finish.

[END]

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Friday, 25 November 2016

TP 1.2

This follows directly on from the first story, but this is The Medusa Strain.

It's the 26th Century and a ship captures Jedikiah, the android that's been floating around for 500 years. Fortunately, they have time travel, but only telepaths can operate the engine. Now they do have Peter, a rather underage boy that wears very a open flimsy top, so oo-er, and he is tricked to go back and grab a Tomorrow Person, Carol. The others will try to find them, but completely fail for the rest of the story. Eventually, Peter and Carol manage to save themselves, so hurrah! And we'll never see Jedikiah again...

One point to note here... David Prowse! "Coffin will help." With silver covered nipples. And the effects... are not great. The commentary points out some particular worthy moments, such as the spaceship that has a disposable drink cup in it, and that there are four cages, so there must be four people who get put them in (this is something I now notice, there are X many items, and they were built, so they will be used!).

But now this feels just overlong without anything really happening. This could be half as long, but maybe stretch to three episodes? Either way, we don't need four.

[END]

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Thursday, 24 November 2016

Stoneadoes

Amazingly this isn't The Asylum, but it was on Syfy, so that tells you everything you need to know right there.

For reasons tornadoes are popping up, grabbing stones, and then dropping them on people. Because that’s what weather does. There is a scientist type guy who isn’t treated well by authority, whose kids are in danger, and comes up with a weird idea to solve everything. (Actually, I wrote that before I finished watching, but feel no need to change anything.)

Yes, another terrible disaster movie. And the tornadoes are the cheapest looking CGI effects I've ever seen. Like whenever they cut away to the tornado, I just can't believe how fake looking it is. Is it possible to put negative effort into something?

Still, at least they have William B Davis in this. Otherwise, there's no reason to watch this.

[END]

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