Rouge Assassin

I've now been to War! Or rather, Rogue Assassin as it is known over here. Jet Li, Jason Stratham, it was bound to be good! (And by "good" I mean mindless enough to be entertaining as long as you didn't have to think.)

By and large, it was a success. At the end I was going "nice, I like it!", and there was tons of action to wade through the boring talkie bits for, so that was nice.

However, the director needs a lot more experience yet. Looking at his record, Philip G. Atwell has mainly worked on rapper videos, and it shows. Lots of fast choppy cuts in the action scenes to make sure the audience doesn't know who's where and what's going on, a hallmark to be sure. And I don't know if it was his fault (certainly he should have picked up on it), or the writers', but 20 minutes into the movie, we don't need a flashback scene to the first 10 minutes. We know, we were there, and we are not! that! stupid!

Anyway, enjoyable enough if you can stand the too-quick pace of some scenes. Not exactly "must see" but not "avoid!".

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Just a little more information, please

It's a common thing: somewhere overseas a list is published of the top 10 whatever, and some journalist over here thinks "Oh, here's easy copy!", and bangs out a piece highlighting the top thing and some of the other entries. But they also completely fail to provide any link to an actual list.

The latest example of this is called, ironically enough, What are the top 25 TV put-downs? Indeed, what are the 25? The article lists seven, but nowhere does it say where one can find out the other 18. (There is a comment about humour in current TV, but that was also probably copied from somewhere else.)

I did find the list, so can save your time and here it is. However... I might question the use of the term "humour". I suspect, for many lines, you had to be there, and I wasn't.

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HC Again

First up is a mess of a mission, in which the victim seems to do a Rasputin, to the annoyance of all concerned. Mission Brothel: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four.

Then, because time was short that night, we did a quick mission that netted us six poz (which can be used for rerolls and stopping people doing bad things to you). Mission Design: Part One.

But there's more! I wrote another mission and the crew get to run through it, but they never do uncover the deep secrets of why (and technically the bad guys were just made to leave, they weren't destroyed or anything like that, so...). Mission Field: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five.

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<Plays Taps>

Oh, those were the days, heedlessly swinging across the webs, cruising from page to page, checking out sites just because you could...

And, of course, the browser of choice was... Netscape! (Because the alternative was just evil.) Ah yes, from Lynx (which I still use in one of my telnet accounts) to the burst of graphics was a leap not all were ready for, but we made that leap, and damn the consequences! (And hideous page loading times...)

But no more. For Netscape is dead. To be fair, it did die pretty much when Firefox came upon the scene, but now the final notes have played, the flag has been taken down, and the coffin has been sent to the great 404 in the intertubes.

So long, good buddy! You fought Microsoft so well...

(Thanks to Peter A for the heads up.)

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Barbigazl: Part One Notes

DM’s Notes [by Peter A. Picture is of Alrick!]

One of the big things I wanted to do with this module was see how a party of PCs would react to being in essence the ‘retainers’ (as in NPCs) of a non-player group. I didn’t want it to be immediately obvious, and I don’t think I’d have got away with it with a less experienced group. I think I sort of got away with it here, but the degree of difference experienced by the players was, I’d say, subtle at best. They weren’t making major decisions, but they were making some (they had to, or the adventure would have been even more of a railroad than it was already). Hurin was a pain in the arse – but to an extent he was supposed to be. He is a Dwarf and a supposed noble, so a degree of arrogance was ensured; and yet the party had to toe the line for two reasons. Firstly, they were outnumbered. This was the plan all along. I knew it would make some things tricky (and it did), but it was to give me at the time a better option than having them equaled or bettered by the NPCs – that’s a good way to ‘give’ your players cannon-fodder with tank armour. So numbers it had to be, and when Paul’s brother Wayne decided he wanted to play three characters, those numbers increased even more to balance them out. Combat took forever (looking back I’d have had Hurin relegate one section of his group to combat and had the others sit it out. It might have irritated the players more, but saved everyone time). To save myself some dice rolling time I ‘gave’ two NPC Dwarves to each player (although some invested more time in them than others) strictly for combat purposes and little other reason. It sort of worked, but they remained ciphers. I’m still trying to think of
their names.

The second means of keeping the PCs in line was the oath. Perhaps it was forgotten in time, but it got a reaction at the time, and most of the players were Lawful enough to stick to it – to a point (and we’ll come to that later). Blood oaths are tricky things and can have consequences, but it seemed as though the guys were either comfortable with it or knew that there were opportunities for an ‘out’ at some stage.

I’m not much of a believer in wandering monsters, preferring to set up encounters that can be used or not as games develop. The Hill Giants were such a deliberate encounter, giving the PCs something a little tougher to flex their muscles with, something challenging that might expend a few spells along the way but early in the piece, and something that might offer the Dwarves in the group a natural advantage with their natural defensive bonuses against giant-sized creatures. Hill Giants are the weakest of the race, but they still gave the party troubles, and I was a little worried to find that my two characters were the most vulnerable – the combat-magic Elf being a near fatality.

The first encounter was also supposed to be an alarm for the wary – the second Gnome encounter to feature a highly inquisitive local asking questions of such a conspicuously large party of Dwarves with, oddly, some various humans and an Elf among them. Once again, the players didn’t blink, and it was up to the NPCs once more to lead the conversation away. Not that it mattered, as Yellowjacket (the name could have been a giveaway, but perhaps I was too clever for my own good) had tamed bees, and a Gnome’s rapport with nature. Did the players put two and two together? Did they bollocks.

Once out of the woods more character moments appeared. I really dug the fact that the PCs checked the bridge for signs of Dwarven influence. I hadn’t put anything in the module to say so, so said no, which was a shame in a way, but didn’t telegraph the location of the lost mines either. The camp at the bottom of the waterfall was notable for two things – Argon’s Pony of Invulnerability which had no name but just wouldn’t die. It carried just about everything you’d want as well – a big tent, provisions for upwards of thirteen people (allegedly). I’d thought scaling a sheer ice waterfall would be a task too far, but no. At some stage I thought this beast of incredible usefulness would have to disappear and planned in the back of my mind a scenario of hungry goblins and a multitude of arrows. What actually happened is that I just forgot it. And so did the players. The final battle of this session with Wargs (Dire Wolves for stats) and Werewolves was notable for two things. First was Oban’s ‘accidental’ flaming of Balinor. I read it at the time as an actual accident that, between two brother players, built into something else. Not sure in retrospect. It would be academic by the end of the next session anyway. The second notable thing was a throwaway comment I made about any demi-humans who caught lycanthropy effectively being served a death sentence. It stopped play and opened up the guide books as everyone checked to see if that was true. It’s true in the early 80s version of the game at least, and it wouldn’t be the first time that me having old rules muddled things when the players were using the later set. As it happened the fight was long and drawn out with no casualties worth noting of the lycanthropy kind. For the first magic-weapons-only encounter, the PCs were ludicrously provided for and made short work of their combatants. But for the tension surrounding Oban’s fireball I actually needn’t have run that event, and it added nothing more to the game save for the reminder that the party was too powerful for that level of encounter. Fortunately I had another encounter lined up that wouldn’t give them the same advantage.

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Barbigazl: Part One

Episode One: The Road from Hermitage [by Peter A]

Hurin bids the heroes rendezvous in the tiny hamlet known as Hermitage, in the Drake Ranges. There the heroes are impelled to swear an oath of service to Hurin:

With every drop of blood within me
Every ounce of breath that’s in me
I swear before these present few
My life to serve, and thus restore
Hurin, son of Harga’s line
To Barbigazl’s ancient throne
Til death or Hurin’s Will release me

The heroes converge at the only bar in town, attracting attention from a small party of Gnomes local to Hermitage. The heroes try to coax potential directions to Barbigazl from the Gnomes but Hurin is suspicious and untrusting and orders his retinue away from the locals. Replenished and fortified for the journey they leave for the foothills of the mountain that towers over Hermitage, the peak the Gnomes call Redbeak.

The foothills are thick with pine trees, and before long the party hears a ruckus and find two hill giants pillaging the remains of a small beehive. Upon seeing the party the hill giants move to attack, and before long the air is thick with thrown axes, arrows and bees. The party learn an early lesson in tactics when another giant emerges and despite their height advantage, the Dwarves and heroes are compromised and nearly lose some men. When the battle is won with no futility they take stock, and the owner of the beehives appears from a hiding space. The bee-herd is a Gnome by the name of Fergyl Yellowjacket, and is, they assume, of the Redhills clan nearby. Rewarding the party with some gratefully received medicinal honey he enquires of the party’s quest, but receives no information from Hurin’s men. His gratitude spent, he bids them farewell in peace, and the party go on their way.

Once out into the daylight the PCs and cast of millions NPCs make their way through the steeper countryside of the Woodreach, the feet of the Mountain. Crossing a bridge and looking for signs of Dwarven design (there are none, making them wonder whether they’re in the right place after all and it’s not just a nasty DM trick), they see their likely stop for the day’s end rest – a frozen waterfall feeding the river leading to Hermitage. Atop the waterfall? They don’t have any idea, but they are tired and in need of rest from giant-bashing, and so pitch Hurin’s giant tent (a yurt) and take turns to stand guard. Balinor is cheered by the company of a bee, which buzzes around him harmlessly wherever he goes.

The standing-guard idea turns out to be a good one, as wolves attack the camp. Dire wolves – big Warg-sized brutes. There is a frenzied battle before the wild dogs are beaten into a retreat and the camp returns to a more fretful sleep. Assuredly, the wolves return, led by werewolves this time, and the battle gets even bloodier. Oban makes an early enemy when by blunder or design, he lets loose a fireball that almost toasts Balinor to a Dwarf-shaped ember. But the fight is ultimately won, and with still no serious casualties (though it’s touch and go with Balinor and Habenath), the rest of the night passes quietly. Even Argon’s pony makes it.

Next time: Up the Waterfall... to pointy Death!

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They did it! They actually did it!

Damn! The HD war is over! And Blu-Ray is on top!

I don't know if they are the better technology, certainly by all accounts BetaMax was superior to VHS in all ways but marketing, so I'm not in any position to pass judgment there. But I know which company irritated me more. Last time I connected to the video ad it disappeared, but it looks to be around now, so let's try again. Remember, this was played when sitting in a movie theatre waiting ages for the actual movie to begin...

I suppose I'd better start thinking about a Blu-Ray player and wonder if my TV can handle it...

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