For some reason scary clowns are in the news at the moment, so that and it's Spook time, it's time for an absolute Klassic!
It's Crescent Cove, and a strange light comes down from the sky. It turns out it's a large circus tent, and inside are Klowns! They go on to terrorise the town, killing a lot of people before Debbie, her boyfriend Mike and her other boyfriend Dave can deal with it all. (Come to think of it, a lot of people die to the Klowns, but then there's a bunch of people there when they come out at the end... town genocide, no big thing.)
This is pure comedy gold. And doesn't go into sleezy comedy either, which it could easily have done so. Instead we get funny moments of people having their heads punched off, and other people being cocooned into candy floss and their blood drunk! Hilarious!
This also features a great performance from John Vernon, who isn't interested in putting up with anyone's shit. And there are a bunch of other people who... I'm not sure went on to do anything else of note? But the other stars of the show are the Klowns, with clearly great prosthetic faces. And very well done teeth.
And then there's that great theme song:
[END]
Monday, 31 October 2016
Killer Klowns Krom Kuter Kpace
Sunday, 30 October 2016
Anneballe
This was the movie that used the doll that was featured in the Conjuring... and I haven't seen it before! I've seen other movies reference this, but somehow missed the actual thing.
A mother to be is decorating her baby's room and the father decides that what she really needs is a creepy old doll. Mere moments later, the neighbours go crazy and attack them, but fortunately the baby is fine. After the baby is born, they move into an apartment block where other creepy kids are around, and the doll makes a come back. Weird things continue to happen, and finally we get a long sequence of the mother screaming in panic and running about, and this somehow is a climax.
Okay, this might be a spoiler, but it's really annoying... the doll doesn't actually do anything! Fine, lots of supernatural evilness happens, but we don't get the doll's head turning, or eyes darting about, or even it scampering about the place. Nothing! What a rip!
Anyway, we do at least have Tony Amendola, so there is a good performance in this, and Alfre Woodard also captures the camera, but they aren't the leads, who are largely bland. Even while screaming. The effects are... on screen, but fortunately the camera doesn't dwell on the creatures so they remain creepy.
Not really up to the Conjuring movies, this feels like a disappointing spin off.
[END]
Saturday, 29 October 2016
Chef: Threee Starsss
In this documentary, we talk to chefs who own Michelin three star restaurants.
That's pretty much the basics, and what we get. There is a range of chefs, and we see the work they do to maintain their restaurants. It's not a simple life, but these foods are...well, "pretentious" often comes to mind, but I'm no culinary expert. We do have one of the culinary experts from Michelin with the occasional bit of interview, but it's mainly about the various chefs.
I would have liked a bit more look into what makes the restaurant three star worthy. As one person points out, most people even in the know would be hard pressed to distinguish a three star restaurant from a two star one. But then Michelin are hardly going to give away secrets, although they do say it's not that complex. We also don't see any restaurants being assessed, which could have made for a nice narrative through line.
These restaurants are way above me, but it looks like someone enjoys them.
[END]
Friday, 28 October 2016
Red Dwarf 11.1,11.2
The latest series of Red Dwarf is out and... so far it's been largely blah but not terrible (quick reminder: the last series started well, but ended poorly).
Twentica: It's an episode where the crew end up time travelling into the past, which is slightly different, in which they need to make some device of the era and... hang on, didn't see I see this episode? Lemons. The whole schtick with the booze room floozies being about science goes on too long. But at least we got Kevin Eldon.
Samsara: It's a ship with a strange drive that changes the laws of reality that changes the way people have to behave... hang on, this is Justice isn't it? We pair up Cat with Lister and Kryten with Rimmer... a pairing that will recur later. This is a thin story where they need to have flashbacks with the real story while the others get some comedy and exposition scenes only.
Let's be honest... these chaps are getting older and Doug isn't the same without Rob... as I said, this is blah but not terrible.
[END]
Thursday, 27 October 2016
Don Spake
We had that you can't breathe, and now we have that you can't speak.
A group of young adults are partying on a boat when one gets his foot cut, so they go to the nearby deserted village. Only it isn't entirely deserted, and everyone needs to be quiet or they'll be captured... and immediately they are entirely incompetent and barge around making all kids of noise. And so they slowly get taken. There is also a lot of bickering between the friends and one is pregnant and sees little girls... they try to escape the big bad, and it goes about as well as you'd expect.
The best part of this movie is the location. It's nice and creepy, and should be used in a better movie. The movie tries to be different with giving us backstory exposition in animation over real footage, but that just makes it hard to make out exactly what's supposed to be happening.
This movie does try some different narrative techniques, so there's that... but to be honest, I just kept thinking of this:
[END]
Wednesday, 26 October 2016
Weeja Summononing
No, this has nothing to do with the current Ouija movies, just another movie using the gimmick.
We have a daughter coming home (to a house in the middle of nowhere) and finds her crazy mother has used a ouija board, and the mother then kills her. Cut to... another daughter, who goes off with her boyfriend, and his friend, and finds the house. Of course they give the ouija board a go, and immediately she's haunted by the old lady. And so, people start dying. She's cracking up, but it's really the old woman of course, but she is responsible. Thus, she finds a way of dealing with it...
There's nothing new here. What this does have that's special is editing, in that it's quite bad. Scenes just cut from one to another without any real sense of transition. And cutting to and from dream sequences doesn't help either. And the special effects aren't really much, outside of the make up effects on the old woman.
Nothing to see, move along, just another group trying to make a movie and not catching anything spectacular.
[END]
Tuesday, 25 October 2016
Brutherhood of the Wulf
It's a beast of the wolf attacking people, a real supernatural beast... or is it?
France in the 18th century, a Knight and his servant travel the land to track down a vicious beast. Along the way, he finds a young woman and immediately falls in love with her, but her family are rather crazed. And that's the set up for most of the movie, dealing with them wanting to be in love, with occasional breaks for action beats involving fighting and/or wolves.
Not to totally give away spoilers, but I was thinking of the Hound of the Baskervilles by the end. And the person who is evil is the obvious choice as the person who is behind everything, so we aren't making huge leaps of plot here.
It's pretty good, with Mark Dacascos and Vincent Cassel being actors I recognised amidst the other French actors. It's also pretty good production values... except for the CGI beast which looks like and obviously added in CGI beast.
This movie definitely feels long and could do with more than a little trim...
[END]
