Thursday, 22 July 2010

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

[I should have reread the blurb. I had this down as a movie to see, and went in thinking it was a documentary about the bird flu epidemic... I wish!]

There is no way to adequately describe just how bad this movie is. I will say that this is the "Manos" of this festival. Birdemic: Shock and Terror is one of those movies that is so bad people are already laughing at it during the opening credits.

The movie's "hero" (in these sense of this being the main male lead) is an exciting salesman... who, in an exciting sequence, leaves his house, drives along, gets petrol, drives some more, then gets out and goes into work. [The director's idea of "panning shot" is to put the camera on a tripod and then jerkily swing it along to hopefully capture the person walking. Don't even mention "framing" as clearly no-one did to the director.]

He hooks up with a fashion model, and they go out to a pumpkin festival, and... a bunch of completely meaningless scenes happen that are in the movie because they were filmed. Maybe. I don't know. Scenes end as actors give up saying their lines, and cuts are jarring and badly used. Ugh. [Check out this example of "ACTING!"]

Anyway, then a bunch of eagles and vultures attack, and there are cameos by various nobodies who espouse how this is all the fault of global warming, only no-one can understand what they are saying as the microphone on the camera is mainly picking up the wind whistling by.

The attack involves bad eagle and vulture gifs superimposed over whatever was filmed. The trailer below just can't hint at it properly. Other "special" effects include suddenly materialising guns with infinite ammo, and eagles that explode when dive bombing. And I know also know why people were paying with coat hangers before the movie. Before the movie... when I was innocent....

This movie has to be seen to be believed, and then somehow unseen because it's so bad.... and they're working on a sequel!

[I would be watching Oceans right now, but it was booked out.]

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