Friday, 12 April 2013

J I Goe Rehabilitation

Do you remember a Go Joe movie in which the Joes were this huge international team, and had lots of cool toys and a big underground base, and lots of people with varied skills and SHUT UP, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! LALALALALALA!!!!!

At least, that's what this movie would have you believe. While the events did happen, all the technology and... well... budget is ignored here. Oh and yes, I saw it in 3D, and there were actual 3D moments when I blinked my eyes because there were things coming towards the screen. Woo!

In this version, the Joes are, basically, an elite marine corp team that has guns and shoots things... and that's about it. They work for America (it seems), and can be easily taken out by anyone with a helicopter or two. And then go on to have big flashy fight scenes that... well... bored me. Oh, I could tell they were big and impressive, but... they didn't mean anything. No scope to them. Just... dull. (Actually, I do like Cobra's world domination plans. They are very effective! Also, they seem to be the ones with the budget in this movie.)

As for the cast, they aren't much better. While the enhanced Channing adds nothing to the plot (such as it is), we get the Rock and... some other people wandering around. Jonathan Pryce isn't stealing the scene, so what's up with that? And Byung-hun Lee fails to fill his role with any point at all.

Can an entire movie just phone it in? If so, this did.


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