Wednesday, 28 June 2017


something something CGI something something Marky Mark something something racism something something shambling incoherent mess

So the heroes are hiding out in a junkyard, when the bad guys turn up and they have to leave. Then in Act 2, we are in England where Cade teams up with English Hottie to run around and go to miracles places for a MacGuffin. Fortunately in Act 3 they somehow manage to survive long enough to save the world.

There is a group that fights called the TRF, but I'm 90% sure they never actually explain what that stands for.

Oh, and there are some CGI blurs called robots hanging around, but no-one pretends they are important, or even part, of the movie. There were more than one moment I confused one grey mess for another grey mess and went "aren't they supposed to be...?" before remembering other grey messes existed. And physics takes a break so hard... I can't even think of a comparison to explain just how badly physics gives up towards the end (not that it ever really tried to hang in there much anyway).

Yeah, so given all that, what else is there to say? There is some actual interesting mythology set up, but it's not paid off, because we need to keep making movies, there were annoying cameos, there were good cameos, there were moments of racism and sexism... what did you expect?


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