It's a Christmas movie, so I guess I better watch it for Christmas.
Blah blah Santa gets kidnapped, Dwayne Johnson gets him back, and Chris Evans learns to be a father. Lots of other people have talked about this, and the plot could be more basic, but it's pretty basic.
Instead I want to complain about things that we are supposed to ignore because "this is a movie in which Santa is an actual person".
How does commercialism work? Santa provides presents, so... what the heck are parents doing? But more presents? So kids get presents, but some get more because they are Nice? And where does those presents come from? Vampire Assassins 4 is a popular game, so... is Santa creating them ex nihlio? Taking them from the publishers? If the latter, do they still get money? Where does that come from? (Let alone Dwayne just straight up steals from a store later on... unless all toy stores are supposed to be Santa outposts? If you want to say things are better by positing a global network all run via Claus Inc...)
But hey, Chris Evans is a hacker, so can find Santa. And is jacked. Like he lives a terrible lifestyle, drinks and eats badly, but... is still pretty jacked, can fight a whole squad of people sent to grab him, or giant snowmen, and do all that without even raising a sweat. What?
How does the Naughty List work? Everyone who has ever been naughty is on the list including "jaywalkers" and "litterers". So... are we talking breaking extremely minute laws here? Does jusridiction count? Does morality trump the need for legality? And those are adult crimes, so at what age are people in the list? Any time? How many kids are "killers"? Do people themselves decide if they are naughty or nice? What about psychopaths?
Meanwhile Dwayne does all the right things, get the heroic moments, because that's what's in his contract.
What Christmas movie I would like to see is set on Boxing Day. Santa goes out and sees what his presents have done and... I dunno, but something should be done with that.
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