Saturday, 4 February 2012

Cold Crepe Feeling

Oh boy. Up now, a movie that was inspired partly by Paranormal Activity and partly by spending a night in a new house. Or possibly bad bit of cheese.

After the obligatory 'was that scary?' opening, we have a movie watching a couple roam around a yard and a house. After 50 minutes of this 85 minute movie, the woman has a 'creepy feeling' and so a psychic is called in and then they look up 'creepy feelings' on the internet and then spend the next 20 minutes reading out internet posts! Then the psychic turns up (15 minutes to go!), solves some bad acting with "The Power Of Christ Compels You!", there's a sudden revelation, then everyone disappears! Hoorah!

Yeesh, a few points here: one, why do these writers think we need to spend time caring about these people? 'Cos we don't need to, and we don't care. I don't care how much you plan to torture them with the ghosts, don't think we need to see them in their trivial lives for the entire movie before getting on with it! Because, point two, this does not a horror movie make! I've probably gone on about this before, but there is this slew of movies that think that as long as they put in one moment of something seemingly strange happening, that can justify them calling it a horror movie, and then wasting the audience's time with the extremely cheap movie making trick of just filming people doing nothing! Fuck off!

This movie is aggressively badly made. The biggest special effect? A knife moving. Not flying across the room or anything, just turning. There's there big revelation scene, and in the back ground... someone is wandering by with a torch! Was a second take too much for them? Not to mention the entire cast was four people. (And there seems to have been some 'ratings enhancement' on IMDB.)

It's times like this I'm glad I was able to do other things while playing this movie. Take the same tactic and do anything else rather than watch it.


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