Saturday, 11 August 2012

Jumping the Jurassic Shark

Okay, there's a new contender out for terrible shark movies, and the signs are not good.

When your movie is 75 minutes, and 15 of them are opening and (mostly) end credits, that's a bad sign. When your opening is two scantily clad young women who sun-bathe... in the shade of a nearby hill, that's a bad sign. When your actors look like they were asked to bring their own wardrobe along from home, that's a bad sign. When you've got a movie that's set around a lake, and the water has magical properties so that when you get out of it you are instantly dry, that's a bad sign. When the dialogue would be less stilted if they read it directly off the page, when the shark can survive in knee deep water, when the ending involves two friends walking off jauntily after all their friends have died...

You might guess I didn't like this movie. And, strangely, you'd be right. This looks to be a movie that came around because someone could create it, not because it needed to be created. The director already has many other movies under his belt (none of which I have heard of), and none of these actors are known to me in the slightest, so we're not even talking B-grade here.

Just straight up ignore this movie. Although odds are this is the first time you've heard of it.


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