Sunday, 26 August 2012

You sunk my decent movie!

No, that's a lie. This isn't a decent movie. Even if you ignore the fact that it was based on what someone vaguely remembered about some game they probably never played, this still is a bad movie by the general criteria of bad movies.

Meathead McLunkwad ends up in charge of a ship when some aliens turn up and start firing pegs at him. And then this continues for about two hours (with an extremely crowbarred in sequence involving a grid), with a minor change of ship so they can fail to use the "you sunk" line (although they do nod to it). There's also a minor plot about needing to phone home, but that's just ostensibly give the pretty girl something to do. But the real loser is physics (yeah, let's see that trick with the anchor work outside of CGI), and probably biology too.

Because what the hell with the aliens? They have this odd thing of not attacking people, but are happy to attack things that lead to collateral death of humans?? Let alone a weakness on the level of stupidity as the aliens from Signs. And if any proper reason was given for the aliens doing all this, I missed it (which is the only thing about the movie I missed).

On the performance side... aside from Liam Neeson outclassing everyone else, there is nothing say.

Go see this if you don't want to have to think for a while, but beware it is a long while...


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