Sunday, 10 May 2015


I was looking forward to this film. A lot of people panned it, but it looked mildly amusing, so I was willing to give it a go.

Mortdecai is a British Lord and upper class twat. He gets by by being an art expert and undercover agent for MI5, and having a gorgeous wife. And by lucking out with getting through things. And having a brutal manservant. There's a painting everyone is after, and there are twists and turns and resolutions and heists and...

Oh gods, I can't even be bothered. This movie was panned, and deservedly so. I wanted to like this movie and it made sure it did everything it could to make sure I didn't. We can start with Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow, but they are the obvious targets. And certainly not funny. And that's the problem, this movie wants to be funny, but it's not. Ewan McGregor should be happy he's not in it that much. Olivia Munn deserves better than be groped by Depp. Paul Bettany is decent, but I'm just thinking how much I want to see him in Marvel properties.

Oh, and looking through the trivia page, we get "Not screened in advance for critics." Says it all really.


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