Sunday, 9 August 2015

F4ntast4c F44r

I saw this the other day, with a monkey as it happens, and I'm sure he'll have more interesting things to say than I will.

Young Reed is a scientific genius and builds a transporter in his garage. Later, he builds a bigger one, and gets pulled into a big scientific institute, where he proceeds to build even a bigger one. Note that this is a 100 minute movie, and this takes the first half of the movie. By this time, every other superhero movie would have given them all superpowers by now, but not this movie! They finally visit zero and get powered up, except Sue who has to be included in another way because women, amiright? (Sue gets to do one thing in this movie, and that's about it...) At last, everyone has powers, we can get on with it! Except military, so let's draw this out for more time, until finally we have about ten minutes in which to fit in a superpower battle.

This movie is dark and grim (yes, no I'm not going for any joke here), and... worse, slow and boring. We want to see a superpower movie, not 'watch people play with computers for an hour'. But that's what we get. Oh, and remember the trailer in which some funny moments were given? None of that happens. In fact, even some of the lines from the trailer that do crop up have been changed. What was the point of the trailer again? Oh, to get us to go and give them money, regardless of what the film is like. In that regard, well done, you succeeded.

This movie desperately needed humour, and there was none in sight. Instead it's a dreary trudge that, in basics, replicates a lot of the 2005 movie. We don't need another origin movie, and this is all set up for that.

We all know Fox did this to keep the rights away from Marvel, so seriously Fox, why are you bothering? If you insist on another movie, at least do something interesting and have a Fantastic Four/X-Men cross over movie.



Jet Simian said...

Massive misstep. And I totally agree with the crossover aspect. It might not have been the best thing for the X-Men franchise, but seeding some references, tying things together - it's the norm in cinematic universes nowadays!

I won't repeat any more of my review, but I wasn't as bored, and though the final battle is ruthlessly economical, I was into it and Ben's line put a big smile on my face.

I fear I'm repeating myself after ASM2 in saying 'sequel please - and get it right this time!', but short of the obvious scenario that would please Marvel movie fans, I can't see any other option that would deliver another movie before seven years are up. And rude haste got us where we are today!

Jamas Enright said...

The first Roger Corman movie got made just because they had to make a movie, not to have something to show... so spite is a pretty powerful motivator over there.

Jet Simian said...

Amen, brother. What price a focussed showrunner like Fieg or Snyder? I thought Mark Millar was suposed to be performing that sort of role in the shadows? Oh.