Wednesday, 9 September 2015

Transpooter Refooled

Yeah, let's reboot a franchise which is known for it's... Jason Statham! Only without Jason Statham!

Frank is a Transporter with a dad. And when a group of women decide to get back at the pimps who ran them, they embroil Frank in their plans, and Frank's dad. And so there's a lot of fight scenes of Frank beating people up... with the movie going out of its way to set up situations for him to beat people up in. And there is some car driving, but that doesn't last long.

This is, in a word, blah. There's just nothing really interesting happening on screen. While the plot was very simple to follow, it was just an excuse to go to fabulous locations and ogle women and have the hero beat people up. Which is basically the reason for the plot in pretty much any action movie, and this one certainly wasn't for trying anything exciting.

Ed Skrein isn't Jason Statham, And Ray Stevenson isn't as funny or charming as the movie would pretend. Loan Chabanol nearly gets some characterisation, but it's largely superficial. At least the car stunts looked real?

I saw this on Cheap Tuesday at Readings, and there was only two other people in the theatre. And this was it's first week of release. Enough said, really. Just go watch some earlier Transporter movie that you liked.


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