Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Ass Cree

Yeah, I went there with the title. This is the latest movie to prove that games can be movies. Where by 'prove' I mean actually 'test'.

Some dude sees his mother's death when he is young, grows up traumatised, then is kidnapped by a company to regress into a past self. SCIENCE! There he relives some of the deeds of his ancestor to find out where he put an apple. The apple, in this case, holds the genetic code for people that will enable the company to eliminate violence. SCIENCE! Everything goes wonderfully and everyone lives happily ever after.

I can't really express how... boring this movie was. It was just dull on every level. The basic story, of needing this macguffin is badly presented, and I don't care about it. The regression technology isn't even slightly believable, even with the graphics, so I don't care about it. And what happens in the past is just action scenes with no plot to speak of, therefore I don't care about it. Even that most of the scenes were filmed in real, with not much CGI, doesn't move them up the scale to narratively interesting. Just because the dullness was shot for real doesn't make it less dull.

And then we have plenty of set up for more movies, because we must have franchises these days, and if they can pull out a new game every year, why not a movie?

Just... snore.


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