Saturday, 4 April 2009

Underworld: Lycan Rising

I'm sure it sounded like a good idea to someone to continue the franchise with another Underworld movie. But at which point did they go "No Kate Beckinsale in tight leather/latex... boffo, a good one!" Rhona Mitra could be mistaken for her (although apparently the original Sonja was a blonde...), but it's not the same.

Speaking of not the same, while the previous movies had no idea where their plot was going, in this one we have the title "Rise of the Lycans" and are presented with Lucian, a Lycan, who is a slave. Oh yeah, no-one would be able to see that ending coming. And so we get a very unoriginal Romeo and Juliet story that completely fails to compel.

Fortunately, Bill Nighy is a great choice for a vampire, although he still seems to be channeling Davy Jones from the Pirates movies, but even he can't save this movie from dragging on. Although there are "exciting action sequences", they are finely interspersed the dramatic story that never goes anywhere and produces tragic moments we are waiting for. (I really can't get into liking anyone here. Yes, the Lycans are slaves, but... THEY ARE MONSTERS. THE VAMPIRES ARE MONSTERS. THE WEREWOLVES ARE MONSTERS. THEY ALL KILL HUMANS. SOD THEM.)

And then there's the darkness. I don't mean emotional darkness. I mean I can't see a frigging thing as there's no light on the screen. The vampires abhour the sun, so the best we get is moonlight (which seems to be a full moon for about a week solid). Given that the vampires wear dark clothes and the werewolves have dark fur, it's near impossible to make anything out. Kinda defeats the purpose of having a monster fight movie if you can't see it.

Unless you are a big fan of the series, there isn't much worth seeing here. Excellent Bill Nighy, mediocre everything else.


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