Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Benlantic Dim

The Asylum, never the most subtle, have completely given up any pretence with this movie. I just hope they didn't sucker any theatres into picking this up by mistake.

Due to an oil spill(?), some see eggs hatch into big sea monster creatures. Fortunately, the navy have some large mech robots (looking like shittier versions of Transformers) on hand and drop the three of them in. Unlike other films, this only needs one person to pilot each one, and amazingly each cockpit is exactly the same aside from colour coding. For some reason, two robots are deactivated, but our hero chases the creature onto the beach and buildings of... somewhere, and defeat it with the aid of aircraft firing missiles. But since he disobeyed orders, he's put in the brig. This movie then tries to make some kind of statement about the death and destruction these things cause, but is really bad at doing so, and so for the next half hour or so we get some random scenes that don't mean a damn thing and are just stupid. Then another creature attacks, so the robots are back out, and the three of them act like this was written by some five year old kid who had toys to play with. Fortunately, the old 'nuke 'em into orbit' trick comes through, and no-one important in the movie dies. Seriously, aside from the nameless extras, in what movie does everyone live?

This is just incompetently done. Aside from CGI unbelievability, there is also a distinct lack of continuity between shots, and focus on really irrelevant points. There was one scene where a set of handcuffs were put on in close up, as if the guy was going to make a break for it... but nothing! And there was a moment where the hero whispers something in the black guy's ear... but nothing comes of that either! And yes, there is just one black guy. But I will say that this movie did have more female leads than a certain other monster epic they are aping.

No-one is going into this expecting excellence... but don't even expect mediocrity...


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