Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Craptain America

Damn you, sirrah! So I'm not done yet, and spin back further in time to 1979 with the movie that uses a cycle helmet.

Steve Rogers is... a surfer bro, that just wants to be mellow in the 70s. But when he gets caught up in an attack because some people want some information he might of overheard, he gets injected with FLAG, a serum his father made to originally turn himself into Captain America, and so Steve... doesn't want to have anything to do with being a superhero. 'Cos... there's barely any plot so anything pad the movie out. And so it's over halfway done before he eventually dons the threads and ride his Captain America motorobike with the Captain America shield... which doesn't look incredibly plasticky at all... Together he and his friend Simon hunt down a nuclear bomb, and thankfully the day is saved by... Simon's medical skill! Go Simon!

This is... okay, I'm not a movie maker, but I've seen plenty of them, and this is just terrible. Was this all the first take of each scene? Without rehearsals? I've seen planks of wood less wooden than some of this acting! And yes, while origin stories can take a while to get going, at least the hero isn't usually some whiny 'I don't want this' idiot. Still, this is very 70s, with lots of bland men in drag outfits shooting badly at each other.

Ah, but the joy doesn't end here...



Jet Simian said...

Wait - there was a SEQUEL?!

If you're taking requests then Trial of the Incredible Hulk feat. Thor pls.

Otherwise, Doctor Strange!

Jamas Enright said...

As far as I'm aware, aside from the animated movie from 2007, there is no Doctor Strange movie.

And I should see Trial some time as I have watched the TV series... but I'm having a strict rule for the order I watch these in, and that doesn't fit.

evildicemonkey said...

Holding out for a review of the 1970s Spider-man TV Series!

Jamas Enright said...

I do have that series, but haven't gotten around to watching more than an episode or two so far.