Saturday, 17 May 2014


Yes, I saw that new masterpiece that's out there smashing... Ford!

Young Ford loses his mother, then fifteen years later must come and take care of his crazy dad. Then begins a long journey home to his wife and child. Will Ford make it all the way back? What adversities will he have to overcome along the way? Oh, and every now and then, just to fill time until the next Ford scene, they cut away to some other random event that isn't Ford so who cares?

Really, you go see a Godzilla movie, and what's the one thing you ask them to have in it? I know there's a big deal about "slowly draw out the audience's expectation" and "don't show too much", but if Cloverfield taught us anything (and it didn't), it's that you need to, at some point, show something! Remember how everyone loved the army scenes in Transformers, and no-one wanted to see battling robots? Yeah, just like that!

Starring in this is Aaron "Generic White Action Bro" Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth "Token Female" Olson, David "Used to be on Alphas" Strathaim, Ken "I Only Have This Shocked Expression" Watanabe, and Bryan "Apparently he's in some well known show?" Cranston. The camera work is not bad, when there's something worth seeing, and the creatures look decent.

But, yeah, where's my Godzilla movie?


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