Gardians of the Gualaxy

According to current internet reasoning: "If I have seen this movie, then everyone has seen this movie." Well, now I have seen this movie. Although it was in 3D in a packed theatre at an advanced screening because it's not supposed to open here until Thursday, although somehow Readings had these early screenings...

There is a plot for this movie, but I can't be bothered going into it for two reasons. 1) This movie is more known for its gimmicks. There's the talking raccoon, the tree with the three word vocabulary, green Zoe Saldana, blue Karen Gillan... once you get all that, the reason for them all to be there is somewhat secondary. And 2) the plot is really thin. And doesn't really matter. It is barely justification for getting from one scene to the next, and doesn't actually progress any characters... because the characterisation is all up the wazoo...

One part is that they seemed to borrow the character name and design, but not the actual personality. Few of the characters act like they are portrayed... and what the hell did they do to Yondu? I've been reading the GotG comics, just started on the current incarnation, and spent a lot of time with the honour bound fighter who is driven by being the last of his kind and by sticking to his ethos. Who Michael Rooker plays has nothing to do with that. And Drax is way off (and does this mean no Moondragon?). And characters can turn on a time as dictated by the plot, without consequence. And of course, we have the female lead and the male lead so... yeah, they largely go there. Sigh.

The cgi of Rocket and Groot is good, Thanos... his voice doesn't fit. And the visuals in the fight scenes are just a mess of colour and motion and I couldn't tell what was happening half the time. The post-credit scene (at least half the people walked out when the credits started... one pair when they were finishing, what?) is cute, but don't feel like you need to stay and see it.

So you might be able to tell I'm not signing praises here. It's not a bad movie, but it's just too much of a mess for me to say it's a great movie.

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