Saturday, 21 February 2015

Aye, Fronk-in-schteen

Oh dear gods, I knew this had bad reviews going in, but at least I thought I'd be able to enjoy the effects part of it. But the story... the story...

So Frankenstein created a monster, and then died, and then demons came to get him, but then gargoyles came to get them, and then its present day, and the demons and the gargoyles are having a fight, and the demons have this HUGE underground place of dead bodies and they want to reanimate them and they live like THREE BLOCKS away from the gargoyles and the creature hooks up with the doctor and they are all 'no, we must not let this be', but the gargoyles are angels so they win, the end.

Did a five year old write this? How about the part where anything with a particular symbol on it becomes INSTANTLY deadly to demons? Why not put a monument in the water reservoir? Or put the symbol on bullets? Just one touch seems to be enough, so imagine any kind of spray weapon. And they've been fighting for over two hundred years but couldn't spot the main bad guys base is RIGHT THERE! But at least they are hidden from mankind, with their overly flashy death explosions absolutely no-one would spot (optical illusion!).

Oh, this is just painful. Do Not Watch.


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