Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Lockked InnA Rom

Oh dear... what the serious fuck? I admit I watch all kinds of weird and crazy movies, especially bad ones, but this... I'm not even sure this even counts as a movie!

Three or four siblings killed their grandmother or their mother, and so their mother gets revenge on them by getting together some people to keep them and other random people locked in a room, and those people are psychotic, I think? And there's others looking for them, and an attorney is involved, and a guy named (I'm serious) Zod, and other people, and there's a guy who goes around with a chainsaw (that manages to produce a sound but is never actually on) who wanders around with a long extension cord and seems to stalk someone else, but nothing comes of it?

Does that sound like a mess? 'Cos that's the narrative highlights I'm giving there, organised from bits and pieces of the movie. And the movie is just bits and pieces. And lots and lots of extreme close ups. Which means we never get a decent sense of if two characters are in the same place or not, or where anything is, or what the significance of anything is (if everything is in close up, what do you do to emphasise anything?). And the sound feels like it was added in post production, the sound effects, the dialogue, everything.

And I'm squarely putting the responsibility here at the feet of writer and director Larry Simmons. This looks to be his first full length movie, and he needs to retake some classes in how to shoot and edit a film.

Do not watch unless you want a masterclass in what not to do. (The only decent part is the acronym the title makes...)


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