Saturday, 15 August 2015

Burmuda Tenticlees

This was on the SyFy, so let’s go in warned, shall we? Frankly the title alone is enough to warrant being ignored.

The president (because we are automatically supposed to care because it’s the president?) on Air Force One is flying through the Bermuda Triangle when the plane is struck by lightning, and he is ejected. Cut to later with a squad led by a reckless risktaker, up against an admiral he’s disobeyed before, has to go rescue him. Only there are tentacles coming up from the ocean, and turns out there’s a huge alien creature down there, so let’s blow it up!

The tentacles were really weird, in that in the long shots they are bigger than the ships and the heads are larger than planes, and yet in close up with humans, they are the right size to spear them. The hell?

But if that’s the worst this movie does… only, of course, it isn’t. What this felt like to me was a bad episode of Stargate Atlantis, only I’m sure SGA probably did do this and did it better. And, for some reason, this stars Linda Hamilton. And Trevor Donovan does his best Casper Van Dien. Even Jamie Kennedy is in this, although looking nothing like himself (which could only help).

Straight to video trash.



Jet Simian said...

Hah! The Zone had this on a few weeks back and due to an accident* with the PVR we recorded it! Oh it's bad. All those poor, poor careers sacrificed in the making of this. We watched Battleship (free to air again) last week and it pains one to see what SyFy wre aiming for, and know that the same cherished goal was not worth striving for. Bermuda Testicles more like. Arf!

(*the same accident that gave us the okay Monsters, the fabulous Troll Hunter and, er, Apocalypse Pompeii)

Jamas Enright said...

I blame you for me seeing this, so there's that...