Dis-taste Wars

Um... what? This movie wants to be The Asylum level bad... but, to be honest, it's more Birdemic bad...

A group of scientists are trying to... probe the ocean floor or something? But they set off an undersea earthquake, and now there's a MEGA TSUNAMI! Because that's a thing, and other people know what it is. Other people try to stop it with another tsunami, but of course that doesn't work, that's just stupid. So what they have to do is set off another earthquake, because that makes sense! And amidst all this people are driving around streets and being attacked by random derelicts...

Where to start? The acting is awful. People are just reading lines while the camera is pointed at them. And the biggest name star I can spot is Joe "Wharevulf" Estevez. And the effects... the earthquake shaking is just someone shaking the camera, far more violently than the scene would suggest. Rubble is added so badly in post production CGI you can see exactly every bit done. And the tsunami itself is just large CGI water pasted into the background of a shot of a city.

And as for the plot... it makes no sense. It doesn't help that twenty minutes in (a quarter of the movie!), they are still introducing characters we don't care about! And then random events happen to the characters in the street because... something needs to happen to the 'little people' to make it dramatic! But given the acting and the effects, no it isn't. And the main action is either people sitting in a bunker board room or in the university office.

This doesn't even deserve to be called nanar...

This trailer... almost makes it look watchable.

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Homebound

It's a New Zealand movie, that's horror, and comedy, but doesn't feature vampires. Is this a trend now? I hope so!

Kylie is a young delinquent (I don't think they give her age, so I'm not sure if she's a minor, teenager, or what), who gets into trouble. And the judge assigns her to home detention with her mother, her father having abandoned them. However, small problem, the house is haunted. So thinks her mother. Kylie is more dubious, but several undeniably weird things happen, and her guard (the one looking after her home detention bracelet) gets involves, and events quickly spin out. Without giving more away, I will say that there are several turns and I didn't see what was actually going on coming at all.

My first comment on this movie is that it is horror. And comedy. With very definitely a separation between the two. The horror moments get extremely effective atmosphere, and the comedy is quite hilarious... but the movie switches between them without any concern for the clash of tones. There can be horror, a comedy beat, then back to horror, and that just breaks the tension and rather ruins it. Unfortunate, but this isn't the only problem.

The other one is acting. Morgana O'Reilly has fantastic eyes, and as very expressive. It's good to see Rima Te Wiata again, but I get the feeling she is playing a rather stock comedy role for most of her time. The other main lead is Glen-Paul Waru... and this looks to be his first main fiction lead, and it rather shows.

I want to be able to praise this movie more, and there are some very good moments, but the overall slightly disjointed tone means it doesn't quite get full marks. But very close.

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The Next Following

The second series being over for a while, it still took me some time to build up the interest to watch The Following, but then I was able to binge my way through it.

In this season, the bad guy comes back, because of course they couldn't really kill him off. And there are more cults and more psychopaths and more people who turn out to be working for the bad guys...

Which is the problem to me. Narratively, we often get into the position of "oh noes, the bad guys are about to be caught", but fortunately another bad guy turns up to help them get out of the situation. Basically, it's treating the bad guys as heroes. And that can be done. Dexter being a prime example. But what that series does that this doesn't, is that this series hasn't earned it. We aren't presented with a troubled past that gives the characters believable flaws and makes the audience care about them. Nope, the bad guys are presented as just that, and unredeemable. But the series wants to have its bad guy cake and eat it with the audience too. That just doesn't work.

And on the good guys side, aside from a lot of running around, we don't get amazing character development either.

Why am I watching this again? And why does it have a third season?

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Batman Arkhault on Assam

This is supposed to take place between the two big Batman games... which I haven't played (I've got them, but haven't gotten around to playing them), so I can come at this movie without being influenced by that... although given what I do know about them, I have no idea how this fits in with it...

Anyhoo, in this movie, Riddler gets captured and put in Arkham Asylum. Amanda Waller gets together Taskforce X (aka the Suicide Squad), a bunch of C and D lister villains to break in and find the item. So we have Deadshot (heard of him), Harley Quinn (ditto), Killer Frost (maybe?), King Shark (who?), Black Spider (who? and DC got this before Marvel did?), and KGBeast... who is quickly not in this. That's particular thing about this, this movie is willing to kill off people, and not just the nameless unknown guards. Actual villains end up dead too, but I'm not saying who. But yeah, they break in, but then that plot takes a back seat to the sub plot of Joker having a nuclear bomb which takes over the end of the movie and... it gets a bit of a mess with lots of references and the obligatory Bane appearance and it's not a great ending...

The problem with the Suicide Squad is that the villains are working with each other because of a threat, and so we get so much squabbling between them that you can't believe that they are a cohesive team. And the changing nature of the plot doesn't help make the movie cohesive either as the main leads suddenly take background positions. Who thought that was a good idea?

And speaking of ideas: both the women in this have moments where they are showing off their breasts to cause a distraction. Equality for women!

It's a decent enough movie, because it's a DC animated movie, but it's hard to say there's a real need for it.

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Reign of Winter

After looking around, we decided to rest instead in the spider room, and feel a lot better! [Level 8 better.]

We could go back... or we could wander downwards. We do so, and come to a door, which is locked. We open it and find it is "the way to do the croning". Well, we don't want any croning, but it sounds like an interesting way to go, so off we go, with me leading the way.

Which means I'm the first to hit the glyph that make me old. While the others stand around and talk, I get annoyed, rage out, and charge down the rest of the stairs, triggering all sorts of other effects, until I hit a stone door. The others come down more cautiously and get to the last glyph... which kills Liddick. Stone dead, no chance at revival, dead. Wow, first party death!

We stay put and let the Cleric rest and charge up spells to heal all the various effects we've taken, then we proceed onwards (with not much of a funeral for Liddick), and find a field with an old crone in it, who warns us it won't be easy and then disappears. The field then becomes a room, and we find a female monk called [Insert Name Here], whom we take into our party without discussion, because that's how PCs roll.

Heading out, we find a large bright chamber, and have some actual combat! Woo! It's not too much of a problem, but then the Mage goes and does something stupid... and freeze!

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If....

Remember the film society? Yeah, me neither, but last night they screened If....

In an old school in Engerland, the boys at a school are given a hard time. The Whips (older boys) run the place, the Crusaders (slightly younger but still older boys) chaff under their rule, and all the younger boys are basically tortured because this is Engerlish school. Eventually the Crusaders snap and play battle turns all too real...

This is presented as slices of school life, and... it's rather slow, I have to say. It takes a while to get into it, but it does become watchable in a lot of parts. There could easily have been trims without sacrificing the spirit of the movie. Which is about rebellion, but it takes a while to get there.

Most notably in the lead is Malcolm McDowell, although he had his whole film career ahead of him at this point. There's also one Count Grendel, Peter Jeffery. Also making a notable debut is a fair amount of nudity.

Not really a movie for me, although it's not terrible. Check it out for yourself!


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DW 8.02

Oh, it's just... sigh. Really? We want good stories, but this... there is one moment worth noting, but it isn't really anything new.

Take Dalek. Add in The Invisible Enemy. And The Carnival of Monsters... and blammo, this episode! In fact, let's skip past the whole miniaturisation thing, because that's just another excuse for corridors and sonicking things, and that's not interesting. Let's also skip past the Coal Hill School thing, because that's just bringing in another earth relationship, and we have nothing but that. Let's go straight to the idea of the 'good Dalek'. Turning the Daleks back on themselves dates back to The Evil of the Daleks, but it wasn't because 'it saw the birth of a sun', but rather because they were deliberately made human. Here, it's a complete accident, and we 'learn' that this is the first time we've ever had a good Dalek... despite those other times. (And what of Dalek itself, which all it wanted was the sunlight.)

The interesting point here is that the Doctor is full of hate for the Daleks... but as I've said, that's not the first time we've seen this. Again, Dalek. Hell, the fact that it was called "Russ T" is probably a dig at the certain someone who brought them back anyways.

That's actually really what this episode feels like. "Hey, remember these other episodes? Yeah, they happened! Think of those because we haven't decided what to do with the Doctor yet!"

Next time: Oh look, a historical... and let's guess what the alien presence shall be, shall we?

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