Lights Out

So there's this short horror film.

Pretty neat. (Although I do remember seeing a shortish movie where something was in the darkness, with the darkness encroaching such that when you closed your eyelids...)

But now it seems there's a movie version of this coming out. By James Wan... so good?? It has potential.

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Hiest

I had heard about this, but not really paid it that much attention. But, meh, it was something to watch.

A casino dealer with a child to look after decides to become a part of a group robbing the casino. But who cares about that, because the movie's barely got time for that when there's a far more interesting story about them latterly having to catch a bus. And so they need to deal with the cops chasing them while holding the people on the bus hostage. This is obviously the part everyone in the audience cares about... according to the writer, it seems... because we spend so much time on it. But, hey, because this is a heist movie, there is something else going on that the audience aren't allowed to know about until the big reveal at the end.

Ugh. This just failed to get my attention. Not to mention that the actual heist is such a small part of the movie, instead it wants to be Speed. At least, that's where my mind went to. Only far less engaging.

No spectacular performances stand out, not even De Niro. Production is decent.

Overall, just not something that kept me watching.

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Gem and Hollygrams

This was considered one of the worst movies of 2015, so of course I had to check it out!

A band gets started, and the lead does her own song, and of course she gets internet famous, and so she and the band signs up to the best record company ever. They are insanely popular for one song in a small place, then the company leader wants the leader to go solo. Thus the band breaks up, but then gets back together and goes on to happy ever after.

Oh, and the main is named Jem and there is a robot map quest to follow, which leads to holograms. But that is completely incidental to the movie. Which, as you might guess, not really makes this a JemGrams movie. In fact, it's not even a good band movie (not that I've seen many, but this feels really generic).

I watched the cartoon when I was growing up, because it was on TV, and it was watchable. Fun, bright colours, and of course the Misfits were the best... but this? It's not outrageous, it doesn't have the technology fun, and... just isn't 80s.

Yes, this movie isn't good. Worst movie? I'm not saying it's that bad, but it's definitely not good.

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Yawn of Justass

Okay, I saw it... and my one word review is: boring.

There's not much point talking about the plot. If you've seen the trailer, then you know what's going to happen in this movie. Only it takes 2 1/2 hours to get there! And most of that is spent on Bruce Wayne being moody and Clark Kent looking pensive.

I realised about half way through that I wasn't being entertained. On any level. I was just sitting there,  seeing this movie before me, and there was no interest at all in following events unfolding before me.

There was one good fight, when it was almost like Batman reenacting a scene out of the computer games, but that was about it. Certainly the title fight wasn't worth paying attention to. And Wonder Woman was also around when things happened at the end.

As for the finale... no-one was buying it, why stretch it out? Nor was there any after credit scenes, although there were a few scenes at the end they could have kept back.

This just... wait for it to come out on DVD... or TV. Just don't bother paying to see it at the movies.

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Starring 1st Trek

Yes, it's a new movie series, and I'm taking a break from the horror. The main reason I have a fondness for this movie is because of how I first saw it. It was way back in school, and there was a local screening at the nearby scouts hall so I had a hard floor and a large screen to enjoy.

That said, rewatching it now, ye gods it is slow. And I watch in double speed! The Enterprise goes into a large cloud, and shows off special effects, until the end in which it was Kirk's hairpiece all along. Or something like that.

To be honest, the best part about this movie are the character beats. Kirk getting the Enterprise back, and Decker calling him on it. Decker and Ilia. Kirk and Spock. Decker getting what he wants at the end. I did think Decker was joining the first movie to be a new cast member, but they really don't need him, and look how quickly he becomes ousted from his positions, first no longer captain, then no longer science officer, then no longer just a guy hanging out on the Enterprise.

People have pointed out that this is just a normal episode stretched out, and it feels like it. It feels more like the production team didn't really know how to do a movie, and so did this to see what they could get away with.

So, only great movies from here on, eh?

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Fifth Star Cops

It has started. In this episode we have a writer that isn't Chris Boucher, and we also have our 'pick a random culture and present the stereotypes' basis for stories. Although many people consider the next story worse.

Last time the Americans did something stupid and lead to a case... this time it's the Italians turn. After a rocket falls over instead of launching, the Italians are quickly trying to lead the Star Cops astray. Which seems to include getting a woman to basically proposition Spring and get him to Rome where someone else can attempt to assassinate him and then the local police try to set him up. However, that doesn't work, and instead an off-hand comment by Spring basically solves everything.

There is an attempt at an arc here as Theroux is scared of radiation, given that is how his dad dies, and goes as far to refuse to help. Although he then turns up later, because what's the point of saying 'I have this fear' if you don't try to conquer it by the end of the episode?

However, otherwise, expect standard Italian accents as that's what we get. For me, this is the lowest story of the set, with a really long sequence in Italy in the middle of the episode, and then it just doesn't go anywhere.

Hey ho, on to the rest of the season...

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Deerdevel Season 2.2.2

Here we are after all the episodes, and as I think back, one word eventually swims into mind: cameo.

This is very much two stories set out over 13 episodes, each only half a series each. The two stories do intermingle a little, but not really. You could say, and I do, that each story cameo'd in the other story. And that's what it felt like.

Like with the characters. "Hey, remember this character from previous? Here's a scene with them in it, ain't they cool!" Exactly inserted as fan service, not because the story needed it.

Which makes this rather depressing. I have to ask if we needed this season? Was there a story they were burning to tell? Being a set of 13 episodes at once, they can't get away with needing to fill out a series like other shows do, with a different story per episode. They indeed this to be a cohesive set, told all at once.

And I will give that the time did pass well. I got caught up and didn't watch the clock, and was then taken off guard whenever the episode ended. However, I could then just 'pop in' the next episode straight away, so the episode ending cliff-hanger moments felt more like act breaks for ads than momentous game changing revelations.

We still have more season ones to go for other characters, but is this what the second, and subsequent, series will be like for them? Hopefully not, but I'm not filled with confidence.

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