Anacantda

You know... I can wait for my life to be over.

Hey, get this, what if we remake Anaconda... but the movie is about remaking Anaconda! We still go to the jungle(*), and there is a snake, but it's silly and fun, and the mass death is just for laughs.

(*)Where the jungle in Brasil is played by the forest in Queensland.

However, small problem, there are no laughs. Like, not once. Now I admit I have trouble with comedy sometimes, but seriously, nothing? I don't think I'm that stone faced.

Jack Black and Paul Rudd are... in this, and they are... in the movie. Thandiwe Newton should have been in something better. And no Ice Cube cameos are going to save this.

I'm sure there are some that like this, but it ain't me.

[END]

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Lurv Hurts

A movie from the year of Ke Huy Quan.

It's Valentine's Day and Marvin is a realtor who loves his job. However, an old flame turns up, and suddenly his brother wants Marvin to give up Rose... and suddenly a fight scene breaks out, as Marvin has a backstory he's trying to get away from. Then we have another drama moment, and... another fight breaks out...

And that's a problem with this movie. It swings from "character drama moment" to "fight scene that Jackie Chan would approve of". This isn't even 90 minutes, but this feels like it should be longer to flesh the characters out... as well as feeling too long as this should be an episode in some series.

Ke Huy Quan is fine, still playing the goofy guy with mad action skills. Mustafa Shakir stands out because he is an amazing presence. And... there are a bunch of other people in this, including the main female lead, who are just moments of characters who get involved in fight scenes.

Overall, rather disappointing.

[END]

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Project Mail Hary

It's science time!

The sun's going out, but hey, it has it's time, no biggie. Except people are upset about it, so fire off a space craft to deal with it. We find out this as the ship arrives, with only a 33% successful no death rate, and flashbacks giving how this was set up. While we find out the backstory, Grace is there, working out what he can do and what support he can get from around him. I'm sure, as this is Andy Weir, that there's no problems at all.

Yeap, this is the book as the movie. I read the book a few years ago, and this hits a lot of the beats. Some parts are glossed over, but mostly it works (except the link from the Petrov Line to the Astrophage, that could have been a bit more explicit). However, knowing what is going on meant that it did feel like the movie dwelt far too long on some sequences, and although they are already skipping some parts, it could easily be trimmed out more.

Ryan Gosling is fine, and gets to act in a range of hair and beard styles. I would like some behind the scenes information to see if he acted against someone crouched down or if it was pure CGI.

I think I prefer the book, which can lean more into sitting with the problems and the bigger issues, but as a movie of the book, this is pretty accurate.

[END]

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Stold Corage

It's a horror! It's a comedy! It's a horror comedy!

NASA sent some organisms up into space, and when the ship went to pieces, some pieces came down, and the organism was different. Fortunately, it was contained in time, and stored away, but hey, line items, costs, gotta sell off properties, and the storage unit becomes... a storage unit. And then the alarm goes off that the something special has been released, and minimum wage stooges and retired military figures need to stop the fungus from spreading more.

Basically, this is the common trope of "what if virus got out of hand" with a couple of extra steps in the set up. It's... fine. It's based on a book, and I can't imagine the book is that much more exciting. The horror is mainly around the effects of the fungus on the body, and the comedy is... that no-one is really treating this seriously? Yeah, it's not really going with a lot of jokes, just a light tone.

We have Joe Keery, who isn't exactly escaping the Stranger Things line of being in weird sci-fi things. Liam Neeson is trying to play "gruff military guy" who gets jokes by undercutting things with a tough tone. And Georgina Campbell is also in this movie.

It's just... fine.

[END]

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Long Waaaaaalk

We've had first King, but what about second King?

It's another dystopian future where in order to make money you need to do something stupid for the public. It starts out fine... but it gets grim. When you know what happens after three warnings, and you know the game is on until there is only "one left", then... 

This is a group picture, with relying more of group dynamics that one particular hero (although we do have our hero character). But... I can't say I recognise any of them. Indeed, I didn't even know who played the Major until I looked him up.

Let's be honest, I would be dead before even making mile 1. But I wouldn't be picked. But something else that would be different these days... why just men? There are plenty of women who could out walk these men (although they wouldn't be able to pee so easily).

This is just a bleak movie that gets worse. And one of the worse things is this is nearly two hours!

[END]

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Runninninninng Man

He's a man. He runs. Checks out.

Hey, dystopia, we don't know what that's like... but in this one, when you can't get a job, you go on tv and do something stupid. Like get hunted for 30 days to win money so you can afford medicine for your baby. But it's all good... for the network. You die? Ratings. You live? Even more ratings. And no-one wins the full 30 days, what sort of man could do that? Not with the network in control.

Well, you can't accuse this movie of subtlety. This is a terrible thing happening to people? Yep, just outright state all that. Still, the movie looks good, so Edgar Wright has that going for him, if not much else as this is not a deep picture like others he's done. But, hey, it's Stephen King, so you do what you can.

Glen Powell is fine, and... it's William H Macy, Lee Pace, Michael Cera, and even Joss Brolin. Only small parts, but names enough, and the rest of the cast is fine as well.

If we ignore the story, this is a good movie... if we ignore the story.

[END]

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Best Maddy Album?

I watched this Zebra Charts video about Madonna and it made me wonder... how well did the albums do? So this means... statistics!

First of all, I'm just going for the main albums, no compilations, no part contributions, with the one exception being I'm Breathless, which is all Madonna songs. Then I'm looking at the US Billboard Top 200 albums for the album rank, and for each released single the US Billboard Top 100. (Not all songs have a listing there, especially in the latter albums, so I do wonder if I should be looking at something else.)

And all numbers based on what Wikipaedia has, so I'm assuming they are accurate.

I looked at: how many songs did the album have (first release, no special add ons), what rank did that album get, how many singles were released, of those how many got to Top 10, and how many got to Top 1.

We can look at percentages of singles that got top, and all that, but it's pretty clear... True Blue is the winner! So she peaked in 1986... well, it does have my two favourite songs of hers... Huh.

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