Monday, 23 May 2022

Dale 'N' Chip

Big fan of Chip and Dale here... but I never really watched Rescue Rangers. For a long time, didn't even realise this was a thing. Had CnD comics, not really a tv series. So we have this sequel to a lot of things.

Two friends drifted apart, but come together again. Which is really reductive, but the basic story is and, to be honest, doesn't really matter. What matters is...

This is Chip and Dale again! Woo! Love those little critters, so we see them in a full movie! Which makes a LOT of fourth wall jokes. Like deliberately and intentionally. We are full Roger Rabbit (and the movie doesn't even try to be subtle about this) with Chip and Dale being actors, but of course we have to have them becoming the Rescue Rangers...

But does this movie actually like them as such? While there is a lot of references to the series, and it is seen through rose-tinted glasses, but it is seen as a time long ago and they have moved on. There is a lot of tat that is considered rubbish, and it's a nostalgia property that is just a nostalgia property and isn't needed now. Dale has moved on to become 3D. Chip moved on and has his own (crappy) life. Gadget and Zipper moved on. Everyone moved on. Ellie is surprised by the junk Dale has. And... when they finally put the costumes on, it's treated entirely as a joke and not something that people want to see.

That all said, this is fun. There are lot of jokes and such, and many moments to make you go "hey, I know that thing!"... Which is gonna pin this to being tied to a moment in time. Ten years from now, no-one is going to remember anything here.

So enjoy this movie, but do so now. The TV series is a timeless adventure. Chip and Dale are iconic cartoon creatures. This movie is a product of now.


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Friday, 20 May 2022

The Norfm'n

I've heard that people like this, but I was still unsure going into it.

Amleth is a prince among... his people. However, his Evil Uncle(tm) decides to do a bit of regicide and he runs away... to become a buff Alexander Skarsgard. From there, he comes back to get his vengeance and kill a lot of people. And hook up with a maiden fair. So, you know, #SquadGoals...

This is.. epic. In the sense that it is certainly telling a full on tale with sweeping vistas and a very enthralling tale. I'm not saying this was novel, but I definitely was interested in what was happening next, and that's the proper essence of a well told story.

There are some great visuals here. Lots of full on camera work to show scenes off. There can be an extremely limited colour palette at times, which makes the odd splash of colour quite disconcerting, but it soon settles in fine (until it does it again).

As good as this is, it's certainly long enough but doesn't yet outstay its welcome.


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Wednesday, 18 May 2022


Okay, there was a small problem in that I knew the plot going in (eg see below), but even so...

Two boys grow up together. One becomes a super hero (in so far as any character played by Jared Leto could ever be considered not evil), and can you guess what the other boy does? Like, just go for the most obvious guess. That's what the movie does.

Really, in about any sense, the movie goes for the most boring choice at every opportunity. And yes, the train flying sequence is about as stupid as you could gather. (They could have done an interesting moment with the ship to reflect the OG vampire, with the ship just turning up with everyone dead and confusion about what happened, but nah, not when it's really about "you hurt my (not) girlfriend, you will pay for that!".)

Aside from Jared Leto, we need to talk about Matt Smith. What is the Doctor doing here? Not a lot to be honest. Matt Smith just plays the easy choices for his character, but then I can't complain he should put in more effort than the movie deserved.

And then shoe-horning in that mid-credit scene... sigh. Really, just watch this video instead:


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Monday, 16 May 2022

Losted City

Been a long time since I Romanced the Stone, but that's the obvious comparison here. But there's another big factor in play here.

A romance novelist just so happens to be a lapsed archeologist, and because her occupations overlapped, she gets kidnapped to find a lost tomb. But her cover model has delusions of grandeur, so immediately makes any rescue that much worse because he has to get involved. Nevermind, he respects and wants her admiration, so all is eventually forgiven and the good guys survive the day.

Sandra Bullock is the key in play here. She knows she is in a romantic comedy and just decides to go whole ham, giving me similar energy to her sting in Miss Congeniality. She knows this is ridiculous, so just goes full on into it. When she comedys, she Comedys.

Channing Tatum tries to be the romantic lead, but even as a comedy foil he doesn't really pull it off. Brad Pitt, understandably, completely overshadows him, and I think all of us would have preferred more Brad in the movie.

Daniel Radcliffe, on the other hand, should have been the same or related to his character in Now You See Me 2, because he's basically playing the same person.

On the whole, come for the pretty scenery, and stay for the pretty scenery. It is very pretty scenery.


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Friday, 6 May 2022


Ye gods. Cut about an hour from this movie, and it might just be bearable.

The end credits recap this movie, with recreating scenes of Sonic sighting Knuckles and Robotnic, Tails coming in to help, them all battling over the gemerald... and that part of the movie is fine (enough). But the actual movie has so much more, with a completely irrelevant wedding scene and a dance sequence that could also be skipped over. Frankly, cut it down to the movie the end credits suggest and you might get something worthwhile.

Jim Carrey is definitely the main feature of this movie. Not only does he ham it up, he also porks and bacons. Even beefs, apples, eggs and does not so much chew scenery as make complete meals out of every scene he is in. Which is about the only enjoyable parts of the film.

However, he does seem to be the only one having fun. The rest of the actors are... also in this movie, and trying to interact with CGI creations. The CGI creations themselves are... fine. Idris Elba is clearly far too sophisticated for this movie and that comes across as well.

Frankly, the whole thing should be avoided. Instead, just watch this:


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Thursday, 5 May 2022


First off, a warning. My local usually had 15 minute ads before the screening. However, I got in (after a huge queue for reasons) just before that 15 minute mark, and the movie was already screening. Yeah, they started "early".

Second point, there is a lot of moments that can be spoiled here. So I don't even want to say anything, other than there was a lot of audience reaction (in the No Way Home sense). There will be millions of "easter egg" and "explainer" videos coming out of this.

And yet... while there is a heck of a scope (we are talking the multiverse here), the story is quite small and focused. Stakes are set up and the movie is about what can be done about those stakes. There's not a lot of extra story beats all over the place. Given this movie is a "short" 2 hours, that works well, but it does mean we only get that one story, not much else.

With all this, this movie has some great moments, but also is just another chapter in the life of the MCU. It'll get rave reviews, then things will settle down and we'll get a proper appraisal as it works in the wider scope.

But the more immediate question is: do I go back and see it again soon so I can see how it actually starts?


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Thursday, 28 April 2022


I've seen other Let's Plays of the videogames, so I had some idea before seeing the movie.

Nathan Drake is a wee baby who joined up with Sully to go on a treasure hunt. The fetus gets involved in several slapstick moments, culminating with the gleam in the milkman's eye sailing around on a boat.

I keep going on about the youngness of the lead because the movie sure as hell bangs the drum enough about it in order to pretend that Marky Mark is old enough to be Sully. But yeah, the treasure hunt nature of the movie reminds me of a lot of other similar movies, but then the video game was also just another take on action/puzzle games. (Hey, Tomb Raider but with... get this right... a while male protagonist!! What a twist!!!)

Which isn't to say it isn't enjoyable, just that to me it didn't really hit any new heights. The characters all proclaim themselves as selfish, so I have no investment in them as characters, so don't really care when they get betrayed as they are quick to do that themselves. And the action set pieces feel like action set pieces that could have been swapped in from and other similar movie. (I keep wanted to say "National Treasure".)

The best thing I will give it is that it doesn't try to overly pad out the movie, and is a decent two hours and done.


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