Friday, 28 August 2026

He's the Scratchman

From what I recall, back in the Tom Baker days they wanted to do a movie, and while one version involved Krittekmen, another one was a darker take. That didn't happen, but eventually this book did.

The Doctor is telling a tale to the Time Lords (similar to the book set of The Massacre) where he is being judged for an adventure. This one involves him, Harry and Sarah going to an island where people are being turned into Scarecrows... and then they go to Hell. Actual Hell. Well, one inspiration of Actual Hell, seen over by the Devil, also known as the Scratchman. And he wants to know the Doctor's fear. In any way possible.

This is written by Tom Baker, and also narrated by him. It's a weird mix of first person and third person omniscience (excused by the TARDIS recording things), and it's a rather rum collection of scenes where wackiness happens because... because wackiness happens. The initial adventure on the island is somewhat straightforward, but once they go to Hell it gets extremely random, justified by Scratchman doing random things. A great excuse for Tom Baker to just go nuts with ideas?

And he certainly enjoys narrating it. He goes full ham in many places, and I doubt the book (which I have, but haven't checked) quite goes into him breaking out laughing in various places. He's just having fun and doesn't care who knows it.

There's a surprising amount of continuity in this, with references to other Doctors. That said... I'm not exactly sure when this story takes place, as that combination of characters didn't really have opportunity for this adventure, especially with references they make. Ah well, such is the nature of stories.

Odd, and yet, glad I finally got around to it! 

[END]

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Thursday, 27 August 2026

Doeth Not Entereth

One of them thriller/horrors that starts well, but goes downhill. 

An urban explorer group are trying to get big on Insta, so decide to head into a spooky abandoned hotel (which is still rather well standing, given it is surrounded by water). However, as they poke around there are two problems: one is another urbex team that are here for the money, and the other is a pale creature that is killing them. Guess which one is worse?

So it does start well. Good atmosphere, builds up with creepiness, and the other team help raise the stakes... but then we get in to the last part of the movie and it is just "creepy human monster" that scampers around and nothing much interesting is done with it. There are minor attempts at character arcs, but they range from "actually gets closure" to "why was that done?" to "oh, that was easily undone".

The creature effect is fine, the rats are CGI, and the hotel is clearly a set, but it's an indie movie, so you get what you get. The acting is also fine, although the movie is really dark which made it hard to tell who was whomst at times.

This was based on a book, and I hope that was a lot better, 'cos this movie is very worth the 4/10 it has on IMDB. 

[END]

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Monday, 24 August 2026

Oakly Streely Ended

Yeah, I can see why everyone is saying this is Spielbergian

Denise Platt is part of a family that is fracturing, so it would be nice if something could happen to bring them together. Fortunately, her whole suburb is isekai'd back into the past, and now there are dinosaurs and running!

Okay, I have a lot of technical questions. First, they acknowledge the lack of electricity and water... but don't mention anything about the toilets, or showers, eww.... Second, the dinosaurs (and there is a large mix of dinosaurs that did not occur at the same time - at best it could be handwaved by 'everyone was transported in time' but...) are furry, they should be feathery. And they don't do what they did in that one photo (I will leave that as vague). And then there is the ending, but I can't get into that here.

But hey, it's not really about the dinosaurs, it's about Family! (Because every movie is about Family.) Denise and Greg are low key fighting, Audrey and Brian are seeing this and getting upset, but they all have to come together, so boy howdy you know that's coming. Indeed, there isn't a lot that happens that isn't surprising, although there is definitely some things I will give the movie credit for doing that I didn't foresee. On the other hand, along with the toilet situation, it's fortunate that only about ten people were in the entire suburb when it got transported back otherwise there would be a lot more people trying to deal with everything.

Anne Hathaway is doing well, turning up as she is in everything, and it's largely because of her that this script became a movie. Ewen McGregor is there, and I'm not sure if he was trying to do an accent or what. The "kids" are fine. And hey, P. J. Byrne is there! The dinosaurs are decent, although see above for various issue I have with them.

Now, for no reason, I need to go buy Froot Loops...

[END]

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Saturday, 22 August 2026

TTTTToy Storyyyyy

Once more unto the breach.

The story of this movie is... very disjointed. In one plot Bonnie gets an electronic device and is sucked into trying to be popular with her friends who also have electronic devices. In another plot Jessie and Bullseye are trying to get Bonnie a friend and end up in Jessie's old house. Then there's another plot where Buzz is wanting to propose to Jessie and teams up with Woody to track her down. And then... there's a whole other plot with a lot of Buzzes trying to ... find something to complete themselves?

Continuing the mix up, we start with technology bad (kids are playing on it, and although sitting with other kids, and just on their devices all the time), but then technology is good and connects people to eventually play together with toys and not devices all the time. What? Pick a lane!

School of Movies does a good break down on all of this.

The cast is fine, although obviously sound older (for those members who are still alive). But the look of the movie comes across as generically Pixar/Toy Story that there's nothing really special about it. This is the fifth of a franchise that has definitely run its course.

[END]

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Friday, 21 August 2026

Livetecus

It Follows but gay... I need to rewatch that movie.. in the mean time, I watched this.

Two teens are in somewhere Australia, and they are hot for each other. Problem is, they is gay, and this is a church town. A preacher is brought in to put the fear of god into them, and does a very good job. When the person you love becomes the person who kills you, can love overcome?

Being gay is hard enough, but having a spiritual entity sicced upon you isn't helpful, and your parents don't believe you, because this is allegory made real, so that sucks. This isn't gore horror, this is psychological horror of "you can't trust the person you love" and it gets in there.

Great performances all around, and well made movie. It's out on the VODs so you should catch it. 

[END]

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Thursday, 20 August 2026

Ebil Deab Burb

One of those movies I'll get around to, and now. 

Evil is awoken, and goes after a family. (If there is more to it, and moreover a link to the previous movies, I don't get it... although I assume that post-credit is supposed to be something? I'll find out when I check the IMDB entry.) Anyway, the family is a group of rather nasty people, and over nearly two hours we'll see them slowly being taken out one by one, as they become Deadites (are they still called Deadites? No-one says that name, but that's what they are called in previous movies this is supposed to be linked to). This movie tends towards slasher, but while slasher usually has people you are glad to see killed because they are so annoying, this is just people being people. Yeah, they are terrible, but I'm not rooting for the bad guys, although I'm also definitely not crying over their deaths.

But boy howdy this is a gory movie. Fingers off, head damage, all sorts of body horror all over the place. As such the effects are really well done, but it does feel like the movie is more focusing on "hey, look at these cool things we can do with make up and effects" and less "behold this detailed plot". Not that these movies ever really went heavy on plot, but I recall the previous movie being a lot better than this one, no matter how many Raimi-cams they throw in.

Is this an anthology series? It feels like an anthology series, such is the lack of notable links, but it would be nice for there to be some continuing story to care about. Is this movie the introduction of the Wise Men? If not, I don't remember them, so again we are having failure of continuity.

This movie is its own thing... but I am hoping it kinda isn't. 

[END]

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Thursday, 13 August 2026

Ni wa wa

Been running through a lot of movies, not much grabbing me... wait a minute, what's this Taiwanese horror

While investigating a house (to be the scene of a video game), a cursed doll is broken, and so of course a spirit escapes. It gets into the wife of one of the programmers (never take your work home), and all it wants it blood. And a new body. Surely, not much to ask for right?

It's always tricky to say what grabs you, but this opened well and held my interest. It gets nice and spooky straight away, and keeps up the weird horror. However, there is one really odd aspect of a character suddenly being in scenes, knowing what is going on and... when did they get involved? Why does the husband know to get in touch with him? ... is this part of a wider movie franchise? (Doesn't seem to be, although maybe it is trying to spawn one.)

The effects are well done, and everyone is acting well. Apparently this was a domestic hit and sure, I can believe it. Will there be more from this director? (First time doing a film, but has done horror before.) Will I find out about it? No idea... 

[END]

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