Friday, 30 September 2016

Lost Six Room

This is it, this is where it's all been leading to.

The Legion try to stop Kurtz from recreating the experiment, but he now has the Eye, so zap, zap, zap, they aren't a problem. Fortunately, the cop has managed to track down the final important Object, the Occupant. And Martin is now back, and he's the prophet for the Order. Things come together as Kurtz reopens the door he shouldn't, to get his kid back, and nearly crashes reality again. The Occupant goes in, his presence enough to stop it, and the cop is in with him. It turns out the Occupant wants to die, but due to conservation of Objects, another Object will be created... the cop. But at least then the cop will be able to get Anna back.

Consider for the moment the Occupant. He only had one set of clothes, a false eye and needed glasses... wow, that's pretty terrible. Here's a complete list of Objects.

And so we have so many things set up, ready for a new series. Martin is in place to be a major figure in the next series, and we have that the cop is now the Cop, and he should be able to control the Objects around him. It would be a kick ass next season... but it never happens.

Damn, this was a series that deserved better, but it didn't get it.


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Thursday, 29 September 2016

The Seven Magnificent Bastards

Before I see the remake, I guess I could check out the original (which was a Western remake of an earlier original...).

A Mexican village is in the way of an evil bandito, so they hire themselves some gunmen to help protect them. Seven of them, to be precise. The gunmen aren't exactly willing to put themselves out too much, but they do help the village, at some points whether they want help or not. And, of course, there's a big show down and can you guess who makes it out alive?

Oh, the actors whose names I recognise as big things, even if I haven't actually really seen them before: we have Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, James Coburn and Robert Vaughn (who would later star in another remake of this film, with similar life success rate).

But now I'm wondering, based on the ads for the new movie, which is more racist? The white guys coming to save a Mexican village, or lots of races coming to save the white people?


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Wednesday, 28 September 2016


Tom Hanks directed by Clint Eastwood about an interesting event in 2009? I'll give that a go.

The Miracle on the Hudson, which wasn't a miracle, just damn fine work by those involved, had repercussions of 'who can we blame?', and this movie is set after the event when there is an investigation. In particular, Sully and Skiles, the pilot and co-pilot, are interrogated to see why they went for landing in the Hudson rather than make it to an airport. We also flash back to moments in Sully's life, and flash back more than once to the actual landing as we see it from different perspectives. As this is based on real life, you know where it's going, but it still feels good to get there.

As it is Tom Hanks you can expect fine performances, although he comes across as very tightly controlled (with all of this, I have no idea how accurate this is). Aaron Eckhart acts the hell out of having a mustache. And I want to call out Molly Hagan for playing a cool AF stewardess who will not take any crap from you.

Good movie, well worth checking out.


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Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Grand Central

It's a place where everyone comes together, at Grand Central.

In order to get some money, this guy has to take a job at a nuclear reactor, moving stuff around. There, he makes friends with other works, and falls in with the main guy Toni. And his wife. With whom he rather quickly starts to have an affair. As they work at the reactor, their dosages go up, which is mixed in with the affair and consequences. Ultimately, each reaches a peak and people have to leave.

The love triangle didn't really interest me, and the reactor parts are more just people in plastic coverings walking about, getting dosed with radiation.

I did stick it out, but can't say it was for me.


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Monday, 26 September 2016

Bliar Wetch

From the filmmakers that made famous the found footage "documentary" we have... exactly the same thing.

Heather's brother, James, wants to hunt down his sister and heads into the woods. He has Lisa, a filmmaker, his friend Peter and his girlfriend Ashley, and they meet up with Lane and Talia. Guess what happens to them? A lot of nothing! They go into the woods, and wander around, and get lost, and it gets dark, and... eventually they wander into a house...

Does this sound like the first movie? It is, although it definitely feels like there's a lot more scripted events, because there are some big scenes that would need a fair bit of set up. So scratch the more improve nature, and instead make sure you checklist elements from the first to repeat, with the added bonus of twenty years of technology.

But no better script writing. Nothing more is revealed about the witch, no big surprises come forth about the first movie, and nothing actually scary happens.

It's just not worth it.


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Sunday, 25 September 2016

Din't Breath

Thieves go into a house to ransack it, but find out that the owner isn't interested in just letting them get away with that.

One of the dads of the thieves is in security, and so they have access to the security pad codes for houses. Makes for easy entries, and with successful raids, they target the house of a blind veteran. (You can tell already that's not going to go well.) They enter, but wake the owner, and then he starts kicking their asses. However, there are secrets to be found out, and it's hard to say who to root for in this movie.

Usually in movies there are some kind of good guys you want to win. Or at least bad guys that are getting away with it in ways that we like. Here we have thieves, and then meet a veteran that is, to be blunt, rather fucked up. I knew going in that it wasn't going to be sunshine and puppies, but even so, where they go I have no interest in following.

The big reveal is considered exciting by some, but the movie completely lost me at that point. And by people doing stupid things. And by people not damn well staying dead!! Nope, I'm out.


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Saturday, 24 September 2016

Speciesist II

The aliens, are back, and this time, it's a boy!

Humans land on Mars, and immediately everything goes wrong as the crew is infected by the alien DNA which happens to be on Mars. Lennox and Baker are back to find them, and Baker happened to make another Sil, this called Eve. As it's a guy this time, he's mating with all the womens (being far more successful that Sil ever was), and producing off-spring (all male as well). When they are viable, alien men will rape their way across the planet. Of course, Eve and the guy get together and fuck like bunnies, becoming aliens themselves... and, just as of course, sex is their downfall.

We didn't need a sequel, and while they did take the obvious step of bringing in the other gender, at least they don't repeat the same scenes as last time. While Natasha is back, she doesn't get as naked, but there are plenty of other naked women, but unlike last time there aren't any naked guys.

They tried, but it just didn't live up to the original. But there is far worse yet to come.


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Friday, 23 September 2016

Lost Five Room

This is a set up episode, to put the final pieces of information in place before the last episode.

This episode is about the search for the vault, because they think it will lead them to the owner of the room, who will bring back Anna. They need to get some more Objects, including the scissors, which rotates things, and we also see the flask in action. They do ultimately get to the vault, and Kurtzfelt gets the Eye, which can create and destroy flesh. Which will let him brick back his dead son, which can be resurrected briefly by the use of the nickle (which he has to swallow, so eww). The cop does track down a lead to the owner, and so everything is in place, ready to go.

Like many elements, the vault is set up early, but doesn't really mean a lot. Neither do the various groups. They are just a means of exposition without actually getting in the way. Neither the Legion or the Order is a serious problem to be dealt with, and Kurtz is about the only one who is a credible threat, which is played out here and will continue to be a problem.

Still, with one episode left, the threat is around to use the Objects to rip open reality, and all we have is a cop without a gun or a Key to stop him.


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Thursday, 22 September 2016

Million Dollar Duck

It's a film about a stamp, and I Kickstarted it!

The Duck Stamp is basically a license that allows hunters to go hunting ducks in the year. The funds raised go towards preserving natural areas for the ducks and other species that inhabit the area. And since the 1940s, the duck stamp picture is the winner of a nation wide contest. This is the film of the 2014/15 year stamp, and of some of the people who enter it. We follow these people, and get some of their stories, mainly about how they grew up as artists and the idea of the duck stamp captured their interest. Many photograph ducks to paint, and eventually the pictures all come together. We follow the three rounds of judging that happens, and find the final winner.

The art is very good, and there's even someone who takes a rather different take on the style (much to the eye roll of other contestants), and there is a lot of interest in it. The Million Dollars comes from the contest, of which you win nothing but acclaim, but the merchandising opportunities afterwards.

It's a nice documentary about a small area that many people wouldn't know about. Although it was mentioned in Fargo.


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Wednesday, 21 September 2016


It's a documentary about ghosts, because that's what people make documentaries about.

In particular, this is a group of film makers that are varying degrees of believers that go to various ghost haunted locations and see what they find. They have an open mind, and have a fair few talking heads that point out what is going on, as well as people who talk about the reality of ghosts. The most common occurrence is cold spots and fairy lights, aka orbs. Which is a large part of seeing/feeling something there because they want to see/feel something there, which they themselves point out (and EVP is a manifestation of this).

And they also have stuff that isn't as easy for them to explain. Like hearing footsteps, and a flashlight going on and off. Which brings up to the main point: if this was a repeatable phenomena, we would be able to study it properly. As it is, we have people taking random footage and saying "this might be ghosts" (where "might be" can easily be upgraded to "is" depending on what ratings you are wanting).

Of course this isn't going to convince me, although there is stuff that I would like to poke more at. If there were footsteps, can we find some other location than the possible obvious one that also sounds like it could be the cause? Are there actual cold spots or do people just think there are or is it a bad wind tunnel effect?

These guys, while not all believers, are actively trying to find ghosts. In that regard, the documentary works, but in regard of scientific process, not so much.


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Tuesday, 20 September 2016


Living under different religions ain't easy, as exemplified by Timbuktu.

This is a slice of life of people who live in Timbuktu where the Jihadists are in control and everyone else is trying to live their own lives. In particular the owner of a herd gets into trouble when one cow goes astray, and you can already tell that no-one is going to get away with a happy ending. There are a few other stories as well, although that is the main one, where the Jihadists do what they want and people just have to live with it.

This is a sober look at what is happening in West Africa, filmed without any sense that those under the thumb are going to succeed, just getting by without being arrested is a good day. The stories themselves are easily captivating but even you feel the sense of inevitability that pervades the lives of these people. They know they are breaking the law, yet they continue to do it anyway.

One of those movies to watch that gives you just a taste of how another culture lives.


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Monday, 19 September 2016

Kubo and the Twu Strungs

It's a Laika movie, the studio that have done some gorgeous work, and this is too.

Kubo is a boy with a talent of making paper dance as he plays his (two string) lute. His grandfather, the Moon King, is looking for him, and when he happens to find Kubo, his mother sends him away, with a quest to find some armour, and a monkey. That she brought to life. Then they meet a beetle soldier, so it's not just them. And getting the armour isn't easy. But it's all about stories, and that's what's important.

Yes, this is wonderful to look at, and you should go watch it for just that. To be honest, the story isn't that great, but then it is a paper-(ha!)-thin excuse for some great sequences. Not that the story is bad either, just that you'll go 'of course' at many moments.

On the voice list, we have Charlize Theron, Matthew McConaughey, Ralph Fiennes and many more. Kubo is by Art Parkinson, and he gets some fine moments.

This disappeared from most theatres quickly, but if you can find it, definitely see it.


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Sunday, 18 September 2016

Blud Fazzer

It's a Mel Gibson movie, so clearly it's just a Jew bashing 90 minutes rant.

Lydia is in trouble with the gangs, and calls her father Link, who is an ex-con and no longer drinking. They team up to keep Lydia out of the gang's hands, while Link tries to find out just what is happening. Fortunately he has the connections he needs, unfortunately the gangs are just a little bit too competent.

This could be considered as Taken-lite, but a) I couldn't get through that movie, and b) not really. The father and daughter bond over running away, and Mel Gibson and Erin Moriarty do a decent job. There is one scene where Link is being racist, and of course it's hard to work out if that's entirely in character or not.

This isn't a heavy movie, and involves a lot less gun play than you might expect, but otherwise manages to entertain for 90 minutes without leaving anything to stick with you.


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Saturday, 17 September 2016

Speciesist I

I can't remember if I saw this in the theatres or on video afterwards, but this is a great movie.

The concept is simple enough, an alien race basically infects a little girl, who then grows up to be a kick ass nasty alien breeding machine. Sil is able to run rings around the crew assembled to take her down, and we barely pause as she races to get herself a man, then get another one, before settling for a random hook up before... well, she's only really taken down because she needs to give birth, and decides to do so near some underground tar pits.

There are two fantastic elements in this movie. One is the creepy sexy designs of H R Giger, with his typical tentacle porn alien beasts, and they are wonderfully brought to life. The other aspect is, of course, the beautiful, sexy, and often naked, Natasha Henstridge. She may have often been covered with goo, but she looks great in it.

It's hardly surprising that this was a great hit, good action beats, intelligent story and, of course, beewbs. Unfortunately, someone decided this should be made into a franchise.


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Friday, 16 September 2016

Lost Four Room

We get a key piece of backstory, and one last big revelation.

The cop is at the motel, where everything started. While he has the room 10 key, there is no room 10, and never has been... at least, not since the incident. After that, the Collectors came together and collected Objects, trying to recreate something to access the room and the power again. Unfortunately, something went slightly wrong, and the woman in charge disappeared into room 9, but shows up again from time to time as a ghost as Objects come in. The cop gets the watch Box, which stops things decaying, to stop her from disappearing, and together with the comb finds out that his daughter is still alive, and that he needs to find the man in the picture.

Because while the room has Objects, who owns them? Boom! With that one moment, we open it wide. We also get more of the Order, and find out they are crazed nut jobs, but they do have some useful Objects. But now we have the final objective that we must get.

This is the exposition that we need to explain the level of events that happened. Again, I love this series, because that is great stuff to fire the imagination.


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Thursday, 15 September 2016

Privat Resorte

It's a sex comedy! Featuring Johnny Depp! I have no idea why I wanted to watch this!

It's a resort where Johnny and other guy turn up and immediately Johnny decides to hit on all the scantily clad young women. Of which there are many. Meanwhile, the Evil Bad Guy wants the diamond off an old lady, but is repeatedly foiled and humiliated by the other guy. And the other guy is just after the waitress. It comes together as for some reason I've already forgotten they all run around the resort trying to escape each other and get hands on the diamond and... hilarity ensues?

There are so many laughs to be had here, it's amazing I didn't even smile once. From the horny young kid that is trying to rip bikini tops off (who disappears from the movie) to the big guy who gets Depp and co to help him try to cheat on his girlfriend, to the security manager who is basically slapped around in every scene he's in, and the old lady that knows self-defense... There's nothing here that can fail to not raise even a chuckle.

Oy, I think I hoped for something interesting to happen, but not from this movie. Just press skip.


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Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Claassrroom 6

Found footage of a supernatural event, that's something we haven't seen before!

It's a haunted school with a haunted classroom. Word is a teacher and a student opened a portal, and then disappeared. A TV crew go into the school at night to document whatever happens. Guess what? It starts getting spooky, and after a long build up, bam, they're gone!

One problem with this movie is that the start contains a lot of footage that would be cut out. It would be the general behind the scenes c-roll footage that wouldn't even be a DVD feature. But no, here's it's the main story because it "builds characters". Some characters in this are decent, but we have the camera guy, the lead female, and the psychic, and the rest are clearly anyone could have turned up to fill in the role.

Most of the effects are stuff happening off screen (never again will you relax around a tennis ball), and strings. Otherwise, it's just make up to show the consequences.

Now, I will give that this movie has some good moments. However, they are plonked in with the rest of this stretched out movie that even with a 70 minute runtime nothing is justified other than it fills minutes.

Aside from those moments, this is just another found footage horror movie, and doesn't do anything else.


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Tuesday, 13 September 2016

The Chair of Happiness

The search is on, for The Chair of Happiness.

A beautician does the nails of a woman in prison, who gasps her last and impacts that there is a treasure in a chair. And so begins the search, in which she teams up, because of events, with a tattooist, as they try to track down the chairs and find happiness inside. We get various escapades of them trying to acquire chairs, involving theft, stealing from the poor box, and lying. There's also a priest, a bear and some paintings.

This is definitely a comedy, with some genuine laugh out loud moments, and other moments in which there is comedy but not that funny. There are good performances from the leads, Valerio Mastandrea and Isabella Ragonese, and even elements of CGI that worked in well (although I couldn't entirely tell if at moments it was CGI or it was someone in a bear costume).

Not a bad watch, although it heads well into farce by the end.


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Monday, 12 September 2016


Yep, someone came up with a script that crosses Franky with a shark... because.

WW2 experiments failed, and so in the current day a German scientist is recreating Franky by first starting with a stitched together shark. He tries it out first by having it attack people. Meanwhile, three friends(?) go for a boat ride, and end up on the island with him, and help him install the brain and heart. Then it really goes crazy.

This... I don't know where to start with how actively terrible this movie is. Let's start with how the shark kills people. Have a long shot of a person doing something, then superimpose over the top of it this this shark model. So the shark is larger than a bus in these composite shots, but that's the way these things work. And so many stock video is used. Need a sea plane? We got footage of that. Need a scuba team? We got footage of that, and by dubbing over it and playing with the video shot, we get them attacked by the shark as well. And you know that ripple effect they have on shots to indicate flashbacks? Here, it indicates a time jump of a few minutes or so. And every other effect is also superimposed on the screen.

Okay, fine, I haven't made a movie, so I can't say I would produce something better. But the people who did make this thought this was fine? They were trying to be self-aware, even citing Universal Horror and Hammer Horror Frank movies, but that doesn't excuse anything.

Just amazingly terrible.


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Sunday, 11 September 2016

Sausase Sarty

Hey, stoner comedy that is a lot of stoner comedy that is not even slightly subtle.

Food are people, and think they want to go back with people from the supermarket to the Great Beyond. Then some of the food find out there might be more, and Frank and Bun get stranded in the store and start to find out the truth. But does anyone want to believe?

Hey, there's several moments where they go "you believe things without evidence, how could you?" Get it? Get it? Are we clear enough? Do we need to make it clearer? I'm not sure if they think the audience will be stoned and not pick it up, but they aren't even pretending to trying to be subtle. As also seen in the stoner scene, where the food gets stoned, then some human guy gets stoned, and...

I've heard that this is supposed to be quite good. Can't say I saw good stuff myself. I wanted to like this, but it just isn't playing any metaphor for humour or pretending to be anything else... just, no.


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Saturday, 10 September 2016

The Legend of the 7 Golden Kampires

This is the weakest connection to the Dracula series. It feels more like Hammer films had a Chinese vampire movie and decided to plug Dracula and Van Helsing into it to link into the franchise.

Van Helsing wants to find out about Chinese Vampires. Fortunately, Dracula decided to take over the body of a Chinese man and resurrect the 7 Golden vampires. Cue... well, many, many martial arts fighting sequences. There's around half a dozen of them as the vampires and the Hsi brothers face off time and again. Eventually Van Helsing faces Dracula, because that's the framing device of the movie, but it's very abrupt.

While we have Peter Cushing as Van Helsing, Dracula is played by John Forbes-Robertson. At least the movie has a good reason for bad dubbing of the main Chinese villain lead, Shen Chan. We also get a lot of bad, yes I'm saying bad, vampire masks for the supposedly golden vampires.

Yet, despite the make up, despite the insertion of Dracula, this is a decent Chinese vampire movie. Why couldn't Hammer have just left that as it was? Perhaps they want a new series, and tried this as a bridging movie?

And that's it. We end on a movie that should be its own thing. I might come back to Hammer movies, but for now I have something else in mind...


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Friday, 9 September 2016

Lost Three Room

We get a little more backstory, but we get more conflict as parties show themselves.

There is sort of development of some of the characters, with the forensic guy getting himself an object (because there is someone who just tracks them), and we find out about some of the origin of the Collectors and such, but not too much actually. That exposition is yet to hit. We go get the payoff moment I mentioned earlier, where the cop wears the coat and is shot in the back... but since the coat is indestructible, he survives! (And we never find out what the coat does.)

The main object we get is the comb, which can stop time momentarily, and there's some fun to be had with that. But the main thing it leads to is the Polaroids that will come into play later.

Being cut-up really doesn't help these episodes. There's more to come and so this feels somewhat unbalanced with no major story advancement. (I can tell what things relate to, but then I have seen this.) But then I wouldn't get six episodes out of this series for my blog!


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Thursday, 8 September 2016


It's that action movie with Gina Carano in it!

She's a private agent that gets things done, and is basically set up to get burnt, and so we hit a revenge flick. And aside from the action sequences, there is absolutely no tension what so ever. Will she track down this person? Cut to her dealing with this person. Or rather, this man. Because she is pretty much the only woman in this movie, the rest are all guys.

And they are all amazingly casted guys. Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Ewan McGregor, Bill Paxton, Michael Fassbender and Channing Tatum. And a bunch of other mooks that are wearing hoods of some kind so are interchangable. While there is a cast, there's one problem. Gina can kick ass, there no doubt about that, but the others are actors first, and so their fights need to be choreographed carefully to make it look impressive without actually endangering the chaps. (Gina can be endangered, because she can actually take it.)

And there's that one line where she's called Wonder Woman... although, of course, she never gets cast in that role! Irony!

As for her acting... well, she can do the physical stuff, but her dialogue was recorded over by someone else? Well, that shows no trust in her...


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Wednesday, 7 September 2016


I've been listening to a lot of Lonely Island, and have their albums. So of course I was going to watch the movie they made.

Connor breaks away from the Style Boyz and establishes his own career. Only... he sucks by himself, and this movie is his second album tour and the antics that happen as he slowly realises this. This takes on a lot of moments from other singers/rappers histories, and you can see where this is going from the start... but it is still funny.

I won't say that it's a full out parody that works, which their songs often go for, but it's decent enough on it's own. They have a few songs in the movie, of course, but nothing that stands up to the better of the LI songs. But then the LI songs usually work in their own individual contexts whereas here this is a sort of connecting idea between the songs, which restricts them. Or maybe some relistening to that album will help me appreciate it.

Andy Samberg gets the main role, with Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer of course getting a lot. And there are many, many cameos, and I'm sure more than one SNL alumni I'm not recognising also appearing.

The best part is that it gets in the comedy then gets out. Only 80 minutes, so it doesn't outstay its welcome.


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Tuesday, 6 September 2016

Two Little Boys

They say the sign of true friendship is that someone helps you dispose of a body. And yet, when that actually happens to Two Little Boys.

When Nige accidentally kills someone (which happens at the beginning of the movie), he turns to his friend Deano. And Deano is out to help his friend, whether Nige wants him to or not. And Nige has a new friend, Gav. Deano doesn't like that, but decides that there's is only one thing to do. Give Gav the best day of his life.

It's a New Zealand Comedy, from the director of Scarfies (which I haven't seen). Well, it's definitely New Zealand. But the Comedy... I have to say, not so much. I could tell some moments were supposed to be funny, but generally, it didn't actually exhibit much humour. It didn't help that Bret McKenzie is in constant scared face, and Hamish Blake comes across as a buffoon (which he is supposed to be, but a likable one not really). Maaka Pohatu gives the best performance as Gav.

I have to admit I was expecting better of this. Ah well, there is variation in everything.


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Monday, 5 September 2016

Salt Pool

The Wellington Zoo has a salt pool to help animals regain their sea natures, particularly after they've been in hospital. And while I was at the hospital the other day they had penguins at the pool, which you can see for yourself.

Although, as I point out, none of the birds actually go into the pool, so the point of it is...?


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Sunday, 4 September 2016

Preacher TV

So I went through the ten episodes of season one... did the writers of the series ever read the actual comic?

We have Jesse in town as the Preacher... and the town isn't destroyed when Genesis turns up? That's the first confusion. We still have Cassidy, but he doesn't get much to do. We get Tulip, who is recast (I expected at least one recasting if not more, and here we go). And we get a hint of the Saint of All Killers. But then we get the Arseface set up from after they leave town? And the meat factory storyline from way later? What? Why's that all happening now? And so we spend the entire season in town with Jesse trying to be a Preacher before we get to the actual set up of the first comic.

Although I think they missed a trick by not having it end on Jody turning up. Most likely that will be the next season, if there is one (I haven't checked).

So, aside from completely changing the plot around, what else is going on? Jesse and Cassidy are largely cast spot on. Tulip is rather more violent than in the comic (well, she was never peaceful), and she and Jesse are given a different back story. The Saint of All Killers is cast well and gets his backstory, but that's all we get of him, and they don't reveal about the guns, so people might be confused about that. And the Arseface effect isn't that horrendous, clearly they didn't want too much of an appliance on the kids face.

There is a lot that is set up but not given away (the death of Jesse's father for a start), so there's plenty of room to go. But if they keep mashing plot lines together, maybe not that much...


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Saturday, 3 September 2016

The Satanic Rites of Drakula

This is a mix up. It's the government vs Dracula!

There are Satanic Rites happening, and a government agent barely gets out alive long enough to report back that high ups are involved. A police officer that isn't worried about government backing gets involved, and calls in Van Helsing to help, and gets the granddaughter Jessica along as well. It turns out that Dracula was resurrected almost straight away since last time, and now controls an organisation, and places to burn the world. But there's still time to capture Jessica, because that's her role. And at the end... it's the police officer, not Van Helsing, that really saves the day, although of course Van Helsing gets the final blow.

This is set two years after 1972, although it's in 1973, but never mind, because aside from one reference it could be any Dracula vs Van Helsing movie. Certainly, Jessica never mentions anything about what happened last time, possibly through memory suppression, although she does it powerful enough to now be played by someone else. I mentioned the Avengers last time, and now we have Purdey, Joanna Lumley, although she isn't kicking ass like in that series.

Another Doctor Who connection I've failed to mention so far, these recent movies are written by Don "Inferno" Houghton. And there are probably lots of other connections I haven't seen.

There is just one movie left, although the connection with the rest of this series is debatable. Let's find out!


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Friday, 2 September 2016

Lost Two Room

While the big over arching story is all about these mysterious Objects, the story we get is a father trying to find his daughter. Literally, as she disappeared in the Room.

The cop is now on the run as it seems he was responsible for some events that went down and now his daughter is missing. While there is a reasonable (in so far as a key opens a motel room is reasonable) explanation, he doesn't care about that and just wants his daughter back. And so he ends up teaming up with the Weasel, the bad guy from the start, and finds out that some Objects in combination are more powerful, and what they need is the clock. We also find out there are at least two groups/Orders, and two men who are after Objects themselves, and... how is there these big huge networks around the Objects in this universe and no-one else has heard of it? Anyway, being intelligent, they get the clock, but of course it doesn't work. And, one of his fellow investigators is now obsessed by these Objects, and kills his partner, with the blame on him. On the run he is!

Again we have the intelligent progression of plot. There needs to be a door? Well, here's something our hero found out before. A door is missing a knob? Fortunately, he thought ahead. The thing is in a safe? Well, they found out that Objects stay in the room. And there's another plot point, Objects cannot be destroyed, that will come into play later nicely without being explicitly referenced.

The groups involved are a little silly. While it is understandable they are around, they are too prevalent to be believable... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Wait up, for there's a lot more coming!


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Thursday, 1 September 2016

The Levenger Tapes

Yay, another found footage first person movie. Because we need more of those.

A trio of two hot woman and a guy that wants in one of the woman's panties are on a road trip to a cabin far away. They find a missing girl and the people who took her, but then something strange starts to happen. They go to talk to them and find them gone, but clothes and hair remain. On their way back to the cabin, they are attacked (but still filming!). They track the creature (can you guess human gone feral?) back to a house, and hole up there to survive the night. Some are successful, and then... the creature gets away? But it's all all right because the girl is found.

There's a lot left unexplained, except obliquely. The church, I'm guessing, was responsible for a disappearance 20 years ago and now that girl is the creature and protecting the new girl from the church? This is from two lines of dialogue, so it's not like we're getting tons of exposition to draw from. And that's about it for motivating plot, otherwise it's just people out in the dark.

Meh, nothing to this movie, and completely overdone for what the plot supposedly is.


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