It's Horror-ble

Another round of bad horror movies.

House of Bones: Straight to never-watched-tv, this features a bunch of nobodies with Charisma Carpenter completely slumming it as a psychic, and Corin Nemec as completely misplaces comic relief. The idea is that the crew of "Sinister Sites" visits the nominal house as part of their flagging "ghost hunter" style series, only to find the house is the real deal. And, to be honest, the house is the most interesting part of this, with actual supernaturality to it. None of this "it was old man Withers all along!", this is a House with designs on killing you dead and screwed with your mind. I like that. Didn't help me like the movie though...

Zombiechrist: This is a dumb movie. Fine, it's trying to be a dumb movie (it's called Zombiechrist), but this is a really, really dumb movie. Christ is resurrected as a zombie and goes around killing naked women (there are a LOT of naked women) because... of something to do with being done over by Mary back in the day or something... I dunno, there's some raving about a plot, but it's just blah, blah, blah, back to the dumb movie. Don't even watch to be "shocking"...

Suicide Girls Must Die!: Speaking of naked girls... I suppose liking this movie would be aided by liking the Suicide Girls, can't say I'm a fan. Beyond that, this is about them heading out for a photoshoot (a naked photoshoot), then, as a minor part of the movie, they disappeared and otherwise die (in an extremely cheesy manner). However, the "reality" part of this is somewhat undercut when you ask "how is this 'reality' horror movie shot like it was?"...

Pelt: Bunch of young stupid people go into the woods, have sex, then get attacked and killed one by one by man guy... um, actually, that could be any movie. The reason for the name Pelt, well... guess what happens after the killing... (there might be an animal rights message in here, but that's subsumed by being a bad slasher flick.) Not a proud movie to have on any one's CV...

Dark Floors: Oh, this was so close to being a good movie! A father is trying to help his daughter at a hospital when him, and some other people, get stuck in an elevator for a moment, slip through a crack in reality, then have to fight their way through a dark version of the hospital, complete with monsters, and some very notable twists with causality. The monsters, which reminded me of Terrahawks monsters, do have a slight problem with suspending disbelief... but I could accept that, and the rest of the movie, very well done, however... the end of the movie is a lot of a 'wtf?' that just throws you right out of the moment. So close, but not close enough...

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