Sharkenstien

Yep, someone came up with a script that crosses Franky with a shark... because.

WW2 experiments failed, and so in the current day a German scientist is recreating Franky by first starting with a stitched together shark. He tries it out first by having it attack people. Meanwhile, three friends(?) go for a boat ride, and end up on the island with him, and help him install the brain and heart. Then it really goes crazy.

This... I don't know where to start with how actively terrible this movie is. Let's start with how the shark kills people. Have a long shot of a person doing something, then superimpose over the top of it this this shark model. So the shark is larger than a bus in these composite shots, but that's the way these things work. And so many stock video is used. Need a sea plane? We got footage of that. Need a scuba team? We got footage of that, and by dubbing over it and playing with the video shot, we get them attacked by the shark as well. And you know that ripple effect they have on shots to indicate flashbacks? Here, it indicates a time jump of a few minutes or so. And every other effect is also superimposed on the screen.

Okay, fine, I haven't made a movie, so I can't say I would produce something better. But the people who did make this thought this was fine? They were trying to be self-aware, even citing Universal Horror and Hammer Horror Frank movies, but that doesn't excuse anything.

Just amazingly terrible.

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