Doc Martin

I've done it, I've seen it all!

He's a fish out of water, he's a doctor is a small town village... that could describe a lot of series, but in this case it is Doc Martin, starring Martin Clunes. Who is kinda based on the character in the two tv movies, which was based on the character from the even earlier tv movie... but they couldn't spin up a tv series with that character (who is far too chill) and made him more uptight.

This is ten seasons, however as this is British tv, these are around eight episodes per, which the US wouldn't hit for several years. Often at the end of each season he is no longer able to be the village doctor... and then in the next season they work out how he can doctor again. Also I watched the beginning of each season wondering who came back. There was a big break after four seasons where several main characters don't return, so they quickly slot some other characters into those positions. (Oh, he gets another inexperienced secretary... oh, he has another aunt!)

There is definite character change, but more to the other characters than him. He does get married and has children, but still remains uptight and outspoken and with a bloodphobia (although the last episode quickly tries to pivot that to something else).

With Martin Clunes we get Ian McNeice, Stephanie Cole, and Katherine Parkinson (who is competent with computers... what?). Aside from those known, we get Caroline Catz, Joe Absolom, Selina Cadell, John Marquez, Jessica Random, and who turns out to be the absolutely lovely Eileen Atkins. And cameos from Ben Miller, Jeff Rawle, Chris O'Dowd, Louise Jameson, Caroline Quentin, Sigourney Weaver (!), and Rupert Graves, amongst others.

The reason I went into this is because there is now a US reboot, Best Medicine. The pilot episode is pretty much the same. There are different stories in there, but again some borrowed plots (such as one involving the doctor's father... who is played here by Martin Clunes!). But because this is a tv series in this current year, it's just ten episodes. Ah well, something else they got from the UK!

A fun wee series, ends on a Christmas episode. Definitely rewatchable!

 

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Bone Temple is Ready!

Some period of 28 later, the companion film!

The Jimmys are a bunch of complete a-holes, at least the lead Jimmy is and everyone else follows his lead. Alternatively, Ralph Fiennes is nearly naked and gets drugged up with the lead zombie. Eventually their paths cross, and it can only go one way, especially as we know how things are heading from the last movie.

Despite this being close to the previous movie, I can barely remember any of it, so much so that I wasn't sure if Spike was from it or not. The two main plots proceed pretty much as you expect, so much so that I was thinking it was retreading stuff from the previous movie. Although I watched it one my main screen, I may not have picked up on everything.

Ralph is fine, and the rest of the cast is decent, and... it's a well made film. But I am probably not giving it the justice it deserves.

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Shuttering again

Indonesia movie about the dangers of taking photographs.

Darwin is a photographer, but his pictures are showing a strange woman in them. Slowly he and his girlfriend work out that she is related to the woman they ran over, and now it's about them trying to escape her curse, which she enacts on people she has been photographed with.

I was about a third of the way through this when I got the sensation that this was very familiar and... this is a remake of the 2004 movie of the same name. That's it! I saw that, and now I saw this.

So what does this bring over the original... well, it's in Indonesian, so there's that. But as this is about analog photography, this doesn't update the tech to be able current technology, so...

It's fine. I hope the film makers and people involved did this because it was something they wanted to, but if you seen the original you've seen this, and vice versa.

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Hilent Sill: The Return

So, as a movie based on a video game...

James returns to Silent Hill, and suffers many a flashback and he wanders around the town, bumping into people who are metaphors for his past life and love. He stumbles from place to place, encountering plot beats and not at all subtle references until finally he gets several endings.

So I'm trying to view this movie on the level of it being a movie and... it's a mess. Just random moments stitched together, going from one place to another just to justify another memory flash back, and then tying it all together in blatant story telling.

And as a movie adaptation... I can see why they went with some of the changes, they don't have time for all the original sub plots, but then they still reference them anyway. And then what was the point of some of the things they did include? Aside from game nods, they don't serve any purpose (what was any point of Eddie?).

Fans will be able to say more about this, but I can't say I was thrilled to return here.

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Better Ape

Hey, it's that monkey movie!

Robert has a not terrible life (considering), but has a star in his eye. With a random bit of cheekiness, he joins Take That, but is repressed by his bandmates... and needs to break free. Badly, after a terrible whirlwind romance, he does, he's on top, he's... hating every moment of it.

As much as people love this, this does feel like a standard biopic movie. Not great childhood, break out fame, drugs, so many drugs, and a big concert.

Except he's a monkey. That does take a moment to vibe with, but it works fine, and fits really well. I will agree that we need more monkey movies.

Oh, and Steve Pemberton is in this, with some really bad wigs. Odd after seeing him in Taskmaster.

So I've seen it, but... meh, it was fine, not amazing.

If you want a better take on it all:

Are Music Biopics Good Now?

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Virtuscosity

Since I mentioned it...

In the far future of 1999, virtual reality is so far advanced people are being trained to fight crime... where people are criminals who are testing the system. One such is ex-cop Parker Barnes, who went away for killing the man who killed his family. However, to provide a good test, he is up against Sid 6.7, who is every bad guy combined, including the killer, who of course is dominant. Due to horniness, Sid escapes into the real world, and only Parker can track him down, despite being continually set up as the bad guy. But, hey, at least guns are free and plenty.

It's Denzel Washington being Denzel Washington, so very watchable (and he gets to beat up a nazi!). Russel Crowe is eating all the scenery (literally in one scene), and gloriously hamming it up. There's also a collection of other famous faces, and a very young Kelly Cuoco!

This is pure cheese, but it isn't really trying for anything else. Everyone just looks to be enjoying themselves, although no-one as much as Russell Crowe.

Watch for a laugh, not for deep philosophy.

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Tron Tares

Subtlety? What's that then?

Dillinger creates a monster, but perhaps the monster is more than the creator? Ares is that Frankenstein's monster, and when ordered to kill Dillinger's competitor, he decides that after having stalked her, she is the one who must live. And so we get real people in the digital world, and digital people in the real world (physics? what's that then?). And for creatures that can only survive 29 minutes in the real world, damn that is a long ass 29 minutes for us to suffer through.

Did this need to be a Tron movie? Did this need to be any movie? It does inherit some backstory and world setting it can otherwise skip over, but it also skips over how one goes about creating digital things in the real world, so whatever. And hey, I've seen Virtuosity!

There are some worthy people in here, but everyone gets overshadowed by Jared Leto, for whom this feels like a vanity project. And the CGI is... fine. But it all makes me wonder how it is supposed to work in the real world.

Well, now we wait for the inevitable sequel.

At least the sound track was great!

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Initialism D

Read the manga (well, some of), watched the anime (well, some of), so why not watch the movie (all of)?

Takumi drives fast, like real fast. And he delivers tofu. So when some racers see him racing, they go "hey, we want tofu!" ... I mean "we want to race him" and so the first act of the movie is just getting him to race point. The second act is getting him to get excited about racing. And the third act is to get him racing while thinking about his girlfriend. (Yes, they keep Natsuki having "that" relationship, although I have no idea if the manga/anime gives it up as she does here.)

It's very compressed, in that in the manga/anime several chapters/episodes can be one race alone, but here we have several. It's not bad in that, but it does feel very "and now they suddenly decide to do the next bit" as opposed to moving the story along more organically.

There are definite movie tricks, where the movie will freeze on a particular frame. That is probably a nod to various manga panels, but it really just feels like the movie forgot to actually move. There is a few other stylistic shots, but the driving is well shot, so we do feel like there is indeed a race. I'm not sure where they filmed it, but I'm sure it was often loud and noisy night shoots.

I am nearly tempted to get the full anime and watch that, as I know there is a lot more that takes place after this, but I doubt I'll around to that any time soon...

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Baff Led

He was in one major TV series, can Leonard Nimoy make it two?

Tom Kovack gets a new skill in the way of psychic visions, which is rather impractical when driving in a car race. Michele Brent takes his visions as the truth, and together they head to sunny ole England to find... some supernatural vagueness that causes some kind of problems I guess that are problems? But at least Tom can see random images to solve the case!

This is a TV movie that is basically a pilot... that quite obviously was never going to go anywhere as soon as you see it. The acting is terrible and the effects are worse. At least there is Christopher Benjamin.

The most baffling part of all is what they thought the poster was all about:

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Bootopia too

It's that movie where the bad fox because a good fox... no, the other one.

Judy and... fox... (already forgot his name) are trying really hard, and go from screwing up a case to getting framed as the bad guys in another crime, involving a snake, because reptiles are now a thing this movie. They chase the plot around for a while, giving only a nodding pretense towards a character arc, and then get to the big set piece at the end of the movie.

What a pointless movie. Now, there is no doubt many people who love this, and it's a big thing for the furries and the scalies and... but for me, this is a big nothing burger. Nothing of note happens, the jokes are are flat, and there's no tension anywhere.

The voices are all fine, although Ke Huy Quan doesn't get that much to do given that he is now a thing. I'm sure there are many cameos of note, but aside from Danny Trejo, I didn't hear anyone.

There is likely going to be a third movie, and I'll get around to watching it... with the same enthusiasm as I saw this.

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Benny Hilly Coppy 2

Hey, I forgot I was watching these. Let's get number 2 done!

Bogomil is investigating a case, but gets shot at. This bring Foley back to Beverly Hills to team up once again with Taggart and Rosewood. Foley once again bluffs his way into a house, into various clubs, and through most of the movie. Taggart and Rosewood tag along, and happen to be there when big events happen, until they all accidentally manage to solve the crime no-one wanted them on.

Rosewood... is a terrible cop. Like, none of them are good, Foley breaks the law all the time, Taggart doesn't give a damn, but Rosewood has a gun collection most 2nd Amendment freaks would be proud of, and his incompetence actively allows criminals to get away. Now this is part comedy, but when you are siding with the hard-ass chief, you know you screwed the character up.

We get a lot of returning cast (I assume, I can't remember who was in the first one), although we do also get "the chief turned over a lot of the department" to explain why, other than the main three, none of the other police officers we might know of are around. And there are some notable names joining them, with Jürgen Prochnow being menacing, Dean Stockwell badly sporting a mustache, Gilbert Godfried cameoing, and Brigitte Nielsen not singing.

This is a very light movie, with japes and goofs galore and no-one taking anything seriously, including the bad guys. As a sequel, this doesn't feel like it needed to be made beyond "hey, those guys had fun making the first one, let's get them back together!"

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Exunt 8

Not the game, which I played, but the movie.

The Lost Man gets off a train and tries to get out from the Japanese train station... only he keeps encountering the same corridor. However this is a metaphor for how confused he is over hearing his girlfriend/wife is pregnant. There is a Walking Man, a School Girl, and a Boy... and while there are a lot of anomalies, the Boy ends up being a bit of a cheat code.

Did this need to be a movie? Probably not. The game was decent enough, I played it, had to get some help for some of the subtler anomalies... but as a narrative experience? This movie played the corridor as basically a form of purgatory where people get trapped (see the man and his pregnancy consideration), and so they have to go through the corridor many times.

Most of the anomalies are from the game, and if you know the game, you can definitely spot them, although the movie choses not very subtle ones, and the people hit a lot more anomalies than in the game. Although the movie does give a good demonstration about how paranoid people get about taking note of every possible thing.

There is some camera trickery to get around the repeating set, but I think they did two full corridors and worked around that. The Walking Man looks a damn lot like his game self. The main protagonist is fine, but his arc is kind of basic.

This is fine, nothing amazing. It cashes in on the game popularity well, but will they do the train game next? We'll see.

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Gerry Majuire

Rounding off the recommendations by Cruising with Tom.

Jerry is a sports agent to decides to go alone gets fired. He's able to do things his own way, but it's a big task.

Renee Zellweger is cute as ever, Cuba Gooding Jnr is definitely better in this than about nearly everyone else... but the problem is is that Tom Cruise is completely unlikeable, as himself, as Jerry. I just don't care that he's fallen, that he's picking himself up, that we are supposed to be interested in any way in his story.

This might contain some big meme moments, but that doesn't make this a good movie.

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The Piany

Okay, another recommendation, and a New Zealand one!

Ada McGrath and daughter comes to New Zealand as a mail order bride (as was the style at the time), however her would be husband doesn't care for her piano skills, although that is the only was she has of expressing herself. George Baines does show interested in her and her skills, and her playing the piano makes her horny and so she gives into Baines' desires. Oops, and as it turns out the would be husband is a mess ("you make me hurt you"), so, frankly, sod him.

Okay, this is a decent picture, Holly Hunter gives a good performance, Sam Neill does his job well, and even Anna Paquin is quite good. Harvey Keitel isn't believable as whatever character he was playing, and I didn't really want to see him (or Holly Hunter) naked.

Better people than me can tell you what the piano is a metaphor for, but damn, can Holly Hunter play it well! So hat off to Jane Campion but to be honest...

This movie isn't really one for me.

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My Vousin Cinny

For this last group of movies, I got other people to recommend me some options. First up this Joe Pesci special.

Two youths get themselves in trouble down in Alabamy when they confess to a crime, but not the one the sheriff is interested in. Eventually claiming innocent, they get a cousin who is a big city lawyer... who has never actually tried a case before. Fortunately, he has a financee who is much classier than him.

Yeah, no, this was great! I've heard about this, but this is indeed my first time, and it charmed the socks off of me. Joe Pesci is great, not too smarmy (as his character could be), but more realistic of his abilities. Marisa Tomei puts on an outrageous accent, but is the best character in the movie. The Southerners don't come off that well, but are still treated authentically all around.

But as to the realism of the case... judge, I would like to call in an expert witness:

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The Orrivol

This came out at the exact same time as Independence Day, but I think this is the better movie.

Hotting up events are happening over the planet, and at the same time Zane hears a signal from a far away star. And then tracks it to an earth event in Mexico. Heading down there, he bumps into Ilana, who is casually killed off. He also finds aliens under the earth, and manages to run away. In the big climatic end scene, will they use a radio dish??

Charlie Sheen is Zane, a paranoid scientist who sweats a lot. Lindsay Crouse is Ilana, a weather scientist that unfortunately gets into zoology. Ron Silver is the creepy guys. And Leon Rippy plays one of the best evil bad guy minions seen on the screen.

This isn't the only movie where aliens help speed up global warning, but it is a great one that doesn't bother getting a big action star. Ilana gets killed off halfway through the movie, and Zane's big thing is being able to push buttons.

There is a neat effect of the rotating globe that looked a lot better in the 90s, but the alien design is kept simple and the big thing is backwards folding knees. Suddenly seeing a character bend their knees the other way is a great moment of "wah".

(There was also a sequel, but we don't need to talk about that.)

So that's was some of the 90s movies I remember. What else is there?

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Evont Horizen

Now this is sci-fi horror!

The Lewis and Clarke are sent to rescue the Event Horizon, a ship that used a gravity drive but disappeared. However, when the ship came back, it wasn't the same. The crew of the L&C are trying to just survive but Dr Weir has other ideas, and sides with the ship. Time to find out what hell really is.

This was something quite different: a haunted ghost ship, but the ship in this case is a space ship. I'm surprised this isn't more common, but then it's easier to justify other haunted houses/sea ships than space ones. The crew react more normally than others in this scenario, in that they recognise there's some shit going down, but they want to get the hell out... but they can't.

Sam Neill gets to be weird in this, but we also have Lawrence Fishburne, Jason Isaacs, Sean Pertwee, Richard T Jones... and around them is some great sets. And you won't believe the CGI effects, because they are really bad, but whatever. The practical gravity drive is great, and the dressing of the ship's bridge is evocative.

This definitely needs a great commentary track talking about it, but unfortunately...

And you can the School of Movies talking about this, because I asked them to.

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Hoose on Hoonted Holl

This seems to be '90s month, so let the good times roll!

A group of idiots are brought to a house, and if they survive the night, they gets all the monies! Except...

As this is a remake, there are several rules that get enacted to spruce the movie up, and make it a real 90s piece. 1) There is a backstory to the place, b) the idiots have a connection to each other for more soap opera, and, oh yeah, iii) the ghosts are real. No Vincent Price with a skeleton on a rope here!

While there are some great actors here, from Geoffrey Rush, Fanke Jansen, Ali Larter, Bridget Wilson (whom I'm sure should have had a better career), unfortunately we do get way too much Chris Kattan, and not even Jeffrey Combs can come soon enough to sort him out.

The effects are.. decent enough. I certainly enjoy them, and there are some great practical stuff happening. The opening alone is a nice bit of puppetry and horror imagery. (Although the model of the house couldn't look more like the model of a house. And the CGI ghost shadow is... well...)

Anyway, highly entertaining horror that is doused in comedy, whether they meant it to be or not.

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Doun Peri's cope

Now this is a comedy!

A wacky commander is given captain of a diesel sub and a mission: blow up a ship (dummy). He's given a crew of even more wacky characters and together they must survive against the best the American navy has.

Kelsey Grammer is in fine form here, being equal parts sincere and getting right into the spirit of the absurdity this movie represents. The crew are, as noted, a series of wacky character types, and I don't know how many of them are written or just them improving their own bits. Unfortunately, this movie does feature Rob Schneider, but he is made a fool of repeatedly, so he is barely tolerable. Lauren Holly has an unenviable job of being a woman on a submarine full of men, and while the movie doesn't pass up the chance to show off that she is indeed a woman, the movie does otherwise treat her character respectably (although the low key romance plot with Kelsey Grammer's character does raise very awkward questions about power in relationships...).

Frankly, this movie never fails to get a smile out of me, and it's great to throw on to have a good time!

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Lake Placard

This is the start of something big.

There is something in Black Lake (the name Lake Placid was already taken), and this brings together a sheriff, a fish and wildlife officer, a paleontologist, and a mythicist to try to handle the threat. And do a terrible job of it, while all are bickering with each other.

Look at this cast list: Bridget Fonda, Bill Pullman, Oliver Platt, and Brendan Gleeson. Now that's a great group of people, and they are all in fine form (although Gleeson gets some lines that wouldn't quite go quite as well these days). And then there's Betty White, in full "I don't give a fuck" mode!

This movie is only 80 minutes, but as a comedy that is also a low level creature feature, it gets in and tells some scenes and packs those minutes in. On the negative side, this did spawn many, MANY SyFy original sequels, of which the only good thing is Yancy Butler.

But this original is a classic, and not the only one.

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Hudsonian Hawk

Ah, is it comedy or "comedy"?

He only just got out of jail, but already Hudson is pulled into running burglary jobs, for crooks, for the CIA, and for corporate leaders (I will lead the overlap between those categories for other people). All in the name of getting Da Vinci's crystal to turn lead into gold. And to sing some songs. This isn't a musical, but you could easily pretend it is.

Yeah, there's no taking this movie seriously. The crew knew what they were doing, and everyone is having fun... well, rather famously Richard E. Grant and Sandra Bernhardt didn't, but even their performances are so wacky, it fits everything well.

I do like fun stupid movies, and the 90s had a couple.

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Bwoken Awwow

It's Woo time!

Never mind the ambiguity, this time a Major decides to get his with the threat of nuclear weapons, purely because it's all about his ego. Up against him is a Captain and a Park Ranger. And paying the price is... several helicopters.

Seriously, this movie hates helicopters. Over the course of the movie, it destroys four of them at one point or another, taking out both good guys and bad guys.

And this is definitely a guy fest. We have Travolta vs Slater and it's great how they spark off each other. Travolta is starting his Evil phase and is loving every minute of it, whereas Slater is the pure one. We do get Samantha Mathis, who was Slater's actual romantic partner at one time. And speaking of romance, we don't even get a kiss between the boy and girl, just a hug! (Although flirtatious promise of more.)

And we get Zimmer on the score, with the lovely twangy acoustic guitar sound, backing the theme of the struggle between Travolta and Slater. Okay, may it isn't better than The Rock's score, but I like this movie better, so I am ranking it higher.

Just a great set of movies with great music.

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The Roock

Bayaction time!

A general is fed up with marines dying and the American military complex not honoring them, so he takes matters into his own hands, and also takes Alcatraz. Up against him is one SEAL team (expendable), one retired SAS soldier, and one chemical superfreak. No problem, eh?

Another movie where the bad guy has clear motivations, so it isn't all so clear cut how it should pay out. However, it's somewhat undercut by the men under him going "yeah, I just want my money" so we do get clear cut bad guys to get exploded. And if the script wasn't so against them, they might have just pulled it off.

Connery and Cage get most of the credit here, of course, although I could do with dialing Cage down several notches. But Harris and Morse give better performances as men who know what they are doing is wrong, but are going to do it anyway... until the time comes when they can't. Masterful tension there.

And the soundtrack.... is just fantastic. Great score by Zimmer, just trumpets and guitars to stir the heart and make it pound, and then a flute track that wouldn't be out of place on the softer moments of Lord of the Rings.

There's only one film that can beat it on sound...

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Cromsin Tide

A great blast from the past!

In a time of Russian aggression (really? would that ever happen) a nuclear submarine is given orders to launch a nuclear attack... but an interrupted message might be negating that... and that is the set up of one hell of a tense battle between "The Captain Is Always Right" and "The XO Is Trying To Not Go To War". As they say at the end, it's a hell of a mess, on the one hand, full orders, on the other, the threat of war.

According to IMDB this was a Soviet incident, not an American one, but Hollywood ain't gonna tell Soviet stories... but this is a damn well written movie (yes, with punch up by Tarantino) and Washington and Hackman give masterful performances. And hey, that's one Viggo Mortensen, I wonder if he'll go on to do anything else? And smoking... there is lots of smoking...

Of course Tony Scott is the director, who recently passed, bringing this movie back to mind. And while rewatching it... the music really stood out to me too. Such good soundtracks on movies back then. Speaking of which...

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