He's a Dish

Sam Neill - waaaah! Gonna rewatch one of his movies. 

Apollo 11 is going to the moon, but because the earth is a basketball with two valves, one of the valves needs to be on the other side of the moon, and Parkes is there with a large dish that can receive tv signals, so they are on board. However, there are a few problems... like a lack of power, losing the signal, and then lots of wind... but they stay and... signal! Man walks on the moon!

This is a small town Australian movie... and a large full earth movie! We get some great character beats from lots of actors, and over all is New Zealand's own Sam Neill (yes, despite often playing Australians). He's playing a very avuncular figure, but we get all ranges from angry to upset to reassurance to being very old.

From looking on IMDB it looks like a lot of this was real (although Gladstone could, and indeed did, receive tv signals), which is unusual for "based on a real story" when a lot of liberties is usually taken. (Amusingly one big liberty is there being a US Ambassador to Australia at the time, which there wasn't.) Oh, and it wasn't a full moon either, but it looks better for the screen.

One of many movies of Sam, but a great one to see him off with! 

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Passinger

Horror movie? Don't mind if I do!

Van life is wonderful, isn't it? Except there be people wanting to get on board and be a passenger... even if no-one knows they are there... like what happens to Maddie and Tyler! They are setting out, see a car crash, and stop.. but you don't stop. You Don't Ever Stop.

This is a great movie, for like the first hour or so. Then they get into "what and wherefore and how does one stop it?" and it feels like this was mashed together with another movie. Where before we get things happening in the dark and weird distortions, we end on religion and needle drops.

Lou Llobell and Jacob Scipio are a great couple together, and while it starts with "woman be traumatised" the movie does then extend to "both of them are screwed". The effects are pretty basic, with some very nice camera work as people disappear (or appear) as it turns around. The Passenger makeup is... fine, fortunately we aren't seeing it that much.

I'm not sure how deep this is, but it's a worthy watch. 

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Gakkô no kaidan

Back on my J-Horror bullshit, with a pair of movies. 

Haunted School (1995): After breaking an idol/statue, some school kids and a teacher get trapped in the old schoolhouse, where a number of ghosts have become riled and active. There are a lot of classic school based ghosts here, and the effects are... varying, from some nice creature work to a very dodgy looking puppet, but it's all fun. (Certainly there is no belief that the kids will be actually hurt.) There is a lot of screaming and running around, and there's a convenient magic text that holds the answer... we aren't talking deep here, but we are being entertained.

Haunted School: The Curse of the Wood Spirit (2014): This movie starts with the death of two teenage school girls, so this isn't Family Horror... and indeed, aside from western naming, barely no relation to the previous movie, aside from being set at a school. A mysterious event happen many years ago, and now the spirits are restless. And there's a viral film crew trying to get a hit. It doesn't help that talking about strange things (as the kids do) evokes those strange things to happen (which is why the original title is Noroi no kotodama). Once set up the rest of the movie is just weird things happening. Ends rather unsatisfactorily, with a kind of explanation, but more of a "that happened, I guess".

First movie was better than the second. Ah well, what else is around? 

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More Cleaning

Yes, some more cleaning games. The Steam Sale didn't help when it came to my wallet...

Cleaning Up is one I saw on LRR streams. We aren't talking complicated cleaning but there are two things that are notable. One is a really floaty jump, not helped by me using keyboard and mouse when it recommends controller. There is a few bonus levels that need precision climbing, and this is not the game for that. Oh, and the other thing is that the levels are sentient... Okay... anyway, completed, and fun enough!

Emergency Cleanup Co... yes, this was the demo. Yes, this is the one on Early Access that I saw I would wait... and I didn't. This is, as mentioned, a fairly straightforward cleaning game, with some basic tools that you use time and again. You can upgrade with money, or with perks, but having now completed the game... I have all the upgrades I can buy, but only about half the perks. I will try replaying some levels to see if a) I get perks again, and b) it can count towards the "do x number of things" for the cheevos, otherwise will have to wait for more levels. (It's a 34G download, so there are plenty of levels... but not enough for a one and done to get everything... to be fair, I also replayed a lot of levels of the above game to also get stuff, so it's a common theme.)

And... that's it. No other cleaning games... yet... back to Ship Graveyard Simulator 2 I guess... although I do also have Hardspace: Shipbreaker... and a new pack for PowerWash Simulator 2 drops this month... 

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Superbgirl

She looks like Will Poulter, but she's not Will Poulter... I have to keep telling myself that.

Kara is out partying when she encounters a kid on a revenge missing, going after Krem. While Kara doesn't want to get involved, Krem makes the mistake of shooting her dog, so it is on! Kara and Ruthye are out to hunt him down, with lots of things getting in the way, including one bounty hunter by the name of Lobo.

This is based on a twelve issue comic and... it doesn't help. This really feels like a lot of different scenes with occasional interruptions of flashbacks to give Kara's backstory. But while that works in comic form, here it feels like those scenes could easily be lifted out without much changing, and so, this movie feels rather bitsy. Not bad, but... doesn't really lend a cohesive feel to it. We do have the main theme of teaching Ruthye to be good, but that is sprinkled in, much like the scenes are.

We have Milly Alcock as Kara, and she's fine. I'm not sure if there is supposed to be something special about her, but I can't say this is a standout performance. Eve Ridley's notable trait is having an English accent. Matthias Schoenaerts feels like he is in a slightly different, sillier movie. And Jason Momoa is letting the makeup do a lot of his heavy lifting.

Not surprisingly this is a heavy effects movie although unfortunately a lot of the CGI moments look like CGI moments. Like obviously they aren't going to get the actors to do that, but there's a lot of Bash and Pow that is clearly fake. And it doesn't help that there are fights where Supergirl is punching people without issue, and it just looks like her fists aren't landing.

Admittedly I felt a little disconnected from this movie, partly because I knew the comic, but there were also a lot of moments where I was consciously thinking "well, they're a main character, they aren't going to have a problem here" so there was a level of immersion missing for me.

I'm sure this will be a big enough hit, but it's telling that the theatre felt rather empty on opening night.

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Cleaning up Demos

I like some cosy games, and Cleaning games are a) cosy and b) have the sense of making a place better. So I tried five demos.

Clean Up Earth: People sent trash back in time, so you go back in time to pick it up. It's very samey, with no real advance on the game play loop. It just bored me. (And apparently there is use of AI that isn't disclosed). That's a no from me.

Emergency Cleanup Co: You take over a cleaning company, and you clean houses. This is early access, but it has definite potential. There are some small things I want to see if they iron out for the full release, so I'm keeping an eye on this, but not getting it yet.

Cyber Cleaner Simulator: Immediately annoying, You are a dude bro who is cleaning up things to get money to... do something. I didn't pay attention too much because there were lots of things that bounced off me. (And possible use of AI, because the developers are only two people.) Another no for me.

HiroBot Clean & Restore: You are Hiro, a cleaning bot. As well as washing things, you can restore some items (suck them in one place and spit them out where they are supposed to be). However, aside from that one idea, this is just Powerwash Simulator but worse. Good try, but a long way to go to a good game.

Island Restoration: You are cleaning up an island, picking up garbage, watering plants, freeing turtles. This game will live or die on how well it gives out upgrades, because I do not want to do the base level mechanics for more than one small island. And twice I got "99%" for getting garbage and couldn't find the remaining no matter how much I searched.

Not a great hit rate, but I gave them a go!

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Supanover

Ah, this is budget Event Horizon.

The rescue ship Nightingale picks up a distress call, and dimension jumps to the signal. Once there, there is a young man where there should be an old man, and a weird alien device. The young man gets his way with several members of the crew, and might just be a little bit evil. I'm sure everything will be fine.

This sounds like a more adult movie, with nudity and some rather messy deaths, but this movie was cut into PG-13 (with still some nudity and deaths), and several directors being involved, and the whole behind the scenes is a mess. So it isn't that surprising that the movie ends up being rather diluted from what it could have been. The opening has a promising set up, but then it just ends up being a rather boring runaround, defeating the bad guy.

Cast-wise, we get James Spader, Angela Basset, Lou Diamond Phillips, Robin Tunney, some of whom only wanted to be involved because of some of the directors, so good luck with that.

It's fine, but could have been something watchable.

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Widowed Bay

So the quiet thing people are talking about at the moment is the new Apple series Widow's Bay, which has just finished season one.

We follow the mayor of the island territory of Widow's Bay, in the New England area, who wants to make the place the next big thing. Unfortunately, the whole place is cursed with at least half a dozen different terrors around the place. The mayor doesn't believe in it, but... and it becomes up to him and two compatriots to do something about it, whatever the cost.

This is one of them "horror comedy" which is light on horror and light on comedy. After watching the first few episodes, I definitely thought it had potential, but wanted to see how it would play out. And some episodes are good, and some are just filling out the back story in a way that is neither horror nor comedy. There is more potential there, and no doubt more for season two (quick check - yes season two renewed).

Matthew Rhys is the mayor, and I haven't seen him in other things. Kate O'Flynn is the assistant, who has a history with the monsters, and gets quite caught up in what is going on. But best of all, Stephen Root, giving great 'I don't give a fuck, I'm just here to have fun' energy,

The episodes are short, some barely more than thirty minutes, so it isn't a long watch. You might be able to tell I'm still undecided on it... but I will watch more.

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Talk about it

Madonna has done duos with a lot of people, and even a trio, and she continues that trend here with Sabrina.

...unfortunately the contrast beings a few things into comparison. Both of their voices feel a little processed, and I know they are capable of great natural sound, so is Madonna needing help these days? (Madame X processing looms large.)

Also, to be honest... you can really see that Maddy has had work done these days...

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Mārama

There are a few New Zealand Māori films I should be watching... but I'm gonna go ahead with one I haven't heard of!

Mary Stevens is brought over to England on the trail of finding out about her parents, but finds the person who summoned her has died. Instead, she takes up with the family there, becoming the governess of the young girl. Meanwhile the father has a liking for things Māori. Like a whole obsession with it. Like to an unhealthy degree. And Mary finds out that he is far more involved with her life than is good for her.

This is not a pleasant film, with depictions of rather gory moments and some very unpleasant notes. It is referred to as a Māori Gothic Revenge Horror set in Victorian England, 1859, so it's good to see everyone getting in on that genre. With the horror being that of what the English did.

Ariana Osborne puts in a lot of work as the lead, and Toby Stephens is suitably creepy. The scenery does a lot of good work too, and hey, that's down in Dunedin!

I've been watching the Wellington Film Society movies, and... this is gonna turn up there some time!

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Confess the II

By film, she means "this is a ten minute remix/medley of the album to give you a taster of the songs."

And there are special guests! Some are singers she is working with, some are random movie stars! (I suspect we'll see more of them when the full videos for those songs drop.)

And if you have premium (and that's a whole different rant) you also get the Afterparty (ie two minutes of bts).

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Hockem

Caveat, Oddity, and now...

Ohm is a writer, and he takes off into Ireland for a bit of a retreat and to dispose of his parents ashes. However, it's not a normal hotel and there's a tale of a haunted room. After a break, he returns to find one of the staff missing, and he decides to look around. Can you guess which room he ends up in?

It's about mythology, it's about the ghosts we carry, it's about do we need more despair? It's probably also about deeper things that I didn't get... but on the other hand, there isn't really anything that special this movie does. Isolated location, people being weird, supernatural events... there is some atmosphere build up, but on the other hand the supernatural is right there, and there are no surprises here. [There is also a good chunk of 1408 in the inspiration too.]

Adam Scott is the annoying yank, or just yank to be non-redundant. David Wilmot and Florence Ordesh give notable performances. And other people were also in the movie. The effects are practical, there is one really good mask, but otherwise it's just averagely decent.

Damian McCarthy has potential, let's see something better.

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Rackbooms

Youtuber movie? Or just a movie from a youtuber?

Clark runs a discount furniture store, but is at a low point of his life... and then he finds a room in the bottom of his store... a lot of room... a lot of rooms... that are in the back... He investigates and drags others in, but what is in the backrooms isn't just rooms but other things as well.

Can you see this without knowing the lore? Other people say so, but I have my doubts. When it starts with an Async video, I know what's going on, but I don't know how well other people will follow. I guess it's fine, but certainly if you know the background it does make a lot easier to track certain elements. But a lot is entirely standalone, and this isn't the Async movie.

Chiwetel Ejiofor does great work as Clark, although Renate Reinsve kept making me think of Winona Ryder with her "mildly upset" face. The set is doing a lot of the lifting, so there are very limited CGI effects (the main one being going through the wall). I'm not sure if the creatures are people with practical or CGI effects, but they say if you can't tell, then it is good work.

This movie is about something, but it's not really the Backrooms themselves, but what the Backrooms are as a metaphor.. in this case at least.

If you want the lore movie, this isn't it. If you want a mildly unsettling movie, this will do.

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I. Ron L. Ung

Yes, it's that "youtuber movie".

There's a moon of blood, and a convict is welded into a submarine and dunked in order to investigate what's going on down there. He has a thoroughly unpleasant time, with strange creatures, and the blood proving more of a problem than water.

This is largely a one set movie, with the iron sub being it, with a few other sets for brief times. Which means we are relying a lot on the main actors performance... and Markiplier is fine! Should he be Markiplier, or Mark Fischbach? Well, the opening credits has the former, so that's what's presented, although the end credits are his full name.

But at two hours... damn, this is long. There are very long takes of Simon (the convict) just staring at horror at various things, or waiting for things to happen or... just not doing very much. He reacts well, but time crawls during these segments.

There is also a feeling of there is lore we are expected to know. Yes, this is based on the game, and I've seen some Let's Plays, and in general you get the idea of "something bad happened and now this is one way people are surviving", but... there are lots of elements and names and items that feel like we are supposed to know more about what is going on, which I wasn't getting. I'm sure there are also nods to the game in the form of easter eggs... but again I wasn't getting them either.

This feels more like a personal passion project than a general movie. It's done well, as Markiplier is very popular, but I can't say this works in and of itself.

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S7c7r7a7m

Sure, why not get more money for more films?

We start with a kill that could mean "we're done with the past of this franchise"... but nope, back with Sidney in the next scene, so nostalgia we are. And it's all about Sidney's daughter and her friends, with definite connections to Sidney despite trying to have new character (every five minutes, someone should be asking "where's Sidney?") Ghsotface continues to get away with a lot, but it's better to be lucky than be good (and Ghostface is INCREDIBLY lucky.) But since everyone is meta in these movies now, events never end. ...oh wait a second, is this about how AI is also a killer...? no, can't do that, gotta inflate that bubble!

Wow, not only do we get a lot of previous cast back, we get the collection of popular young actors filling out more roles... wait, didn't we do that in 6? Or what it 5? Kevin Williamson is back, and he is retreading the well plumbed ... uh ... well.

They are being far more realistic with the gore, with people not dying with a simple stab wound to the general body area... but that doesn't make this better. This is not the series to get serious about that.

This is all about creating the next generation... without ever letting go of the previous one...

At the very least... we have Joel McHale in this, so it's not entirely terrible...

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Phonopolis!

I love the developer Amanita Design, I have all their games, and their latest is...

PHONOPOLIS!

In the city (polis) everyone is controlled by orders from loudspeakers (the Phono). Felix (not pronounced as you'd expect) finds a pair of headphones, and from that point onwards the loudspeakers have no sway over him. From there, it's on him to find his way to the top of the city, discover what has become of Rachel, and find and/or defeat the Absolute Tone.

AD is great for doing games that do not need any dialogue, and indeed their games generally don't have any text aside from the menus. From the first flash Samorost to the famous Machinarium, to the full puzzler Creaks, they are rely on visual understanding only.

And this game is a break from that. There's dialogue! There's story! People tell you things! Fortunately, the puzzles are still largely just working out what is going on, not needing to read anything, but it is quite the change.

I have now 100% the game (with a little help), and most of the achievements are just having fun with doing weird things with the machines/situations you play with, but some of them I just had no idea about.

Still, there are 16 AD games on Steam... and I have them all! ...although I don't have 100% of the cheevos of them... hmm....

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MIIRTAL KIIMBAT

Oh wow, this is... this is just bad.

Two warriors fought a long time ago, and now the descendent is in Mortal Kombat! No wait, that was the first movie.. and this one, although the descendant in this case is the daughter. But that's all right, we have a reluctant fighter in the form of Johnny Cage, who is in this movie. As is several others. And Cole was also there. But is this Katara's or Johnny's movie? Yes!

This is a dark movie. No, I don't mean emotionally, I mean someone should really turn the lights on. But if they did that, we'd be able to see the CGI better, and boy there is a LOT of CGI in this. It's like every fight has people rubber banding all over the place as the movie pretends something interesting is going on.

Frankly, I've got nothing much to say, because I watched this... and it was nothing!

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One Another After Battle

So there's this award winning comedy...

French 75 are a reasonable success revolutionary group that gets into compounds and frees people, with two of them hooking up, although one army dude has his eye on the woman. Cut to 16 years later, and the army guy is still after them, only now the woman is "dead" (ie she isn't) and the man is buzzed out of his mind, and his daughter gets taken by the army dude. The man struggles to remember how to operate in this world, and the army guy is just trying to get in with racists.

It's a "dark comedy" so no wonder I didn't smile once. Is this supposed to be old men's fantasy of a) a pregnant woman with a machine gun, and b) becoming a hero to rescue your daughter? 'cos that's certainly what the trailer was focusing on. I can't say anyone's performance blew me away, but I do like how some various come-uppances were subverted, but...

A nearly three hours, I can't say I saw the point of this movie.

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Shibuya kaidan

This is a wee duology of movies, so much so I could easily believe they were made at exactly the same time.

We start with The Locker, in which a group of college friends have a camping trip, and then strange things start happening to them... because of them also used a cursed locker! There was a discarded baby put into the locker, and now the baby is out for revenge on anyone that dares use it! There are six of them, and can you guess how many are alive by the end?

One of them was teaching a middle school student, who is whomst we follow in The Locker 2. She's warier of the locker, but others aren't, and so bad things continue to happen. We get one more line of lore (the baby was discarded 5 years ago) but otherwise this is just following more people and more deaths. Who will survive? Don't bet on it!

The same actors and locations, and being released in the same year, is what makes me think they were made at the same time, and given both are barely over 70 minutes, they really are a part 1 and part 2.

There is somewhat of a slow build, with enough strange things happening to keep you interested. There are a few weird death effects, but mainly people being pulled into nothingness (very Ju-on reminiscent).

A double feature if you want a full film, but ultimately nothing that impressive these days.

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Cavaet

Damian McCarthy released a new movie, so let's see his first one!

An uncle askes his friend to keep his niece company, she has a few mental problems. He reluctantly agrees, and finds out that the house is indeed out of the way. There are definitely some odd things happening, but are their supernatural things happening? He and the niece don't necessarily get along, and there are some secrets that come up that cause more than a few problems. But surely the uncle is completely on the up and up, right?

This is a very small cast, with Johnny French and Leila Sykes being the two we spend the most of the movie with. And they do come across as quite uncertain and untrustworthy, like the movie as a whole... and that is one big problem I have with the movie. It's all "what is going on?" but I'm feeling that in a bigger "what the hell is any of this to do with anything?" and not in a creepy unsettling way.

It's got potential and I love a good atmosphere, but I also enjoy having an idea about what the atmosphere is building to. Still, this is his first film, there is more to go.

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Joy of Sudoku

There's this Youtube creator I watch: Cracking the Cryptic.

They started with doing Cryptic Crosswords, but expanded into doing Sudoku puzzles. Then during the lockdown, the sudoku really took off, so much so they went from one video a day (featuring Simon solving) to two puzzles a day (the other being Mark solving). And from that point on, it's been at LEAST two videos a day, and actually a lot more these days.

Just sudoku? Just putting in numbers in a 9x9 grid? Well yes, that's the basic grid, but they are really into crafted variant sudoku. (Most sudokus that appear in newspapers are computer generated ones.) These ones are specially made, often have a great break in, and then a smooth ride through solving. And as for basic...

There are cages, where the digits add to a total. A 'v' or 'x' between cells mean they add to 5 or 10. There are lines; purple lines are renbans where numbers are consecutive, in any order; thermo lines increase in one direction; region sum lines break the lines into equal sums; arrows, diagonals, chess based rules (no digits a knights/kings moves away)...

There are spots outside the grid that give sandwich sums, skyscraper clues, little killer lines. This can mean that the grid itself can be entirely empty...

9x9? Grids can go down to 4x4 or over 11x11.

Recently they have been getting back into cryptics with weekly videos about the Friday puzzle. And on the Patreon they do the Times Monthly Special and... I've heard of those of those words... one or two. Yes, they have a Patreon, where $2 gets you extra videos and monthly puzzles, and $3 for the solutions to those. Mark also does Connections and Gridograms...

And also daily videos of Wordle, and Minute Cryptic...

They do a lot, is the point, and if you enjoy good puzzles and seeing how to solve them, this is a great channel to follow.

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There She Comes

Sequel? Like immediate sequel, it's the next day!

Grace is taken to hospital after her new husband died, and her sister turns up. However, ex-hubby family has decided that steps need to be taken and kidnap both of them, and Grace must die before dawn so one of them can get the seat.

Samara Weaving and Kathryn Newton are sister... sure, okay... and they are fine. They get kind of an arc, which is about three scenes of them yelling at each other in between lots of violence. Quite comic violence at that! David Cronenberg is appropriately creepy in his cameo, and Sarah Michelle Geller should get better parts than this. The only one clearly having fun is Elijah Wood.

Theme-wise, it's the same as the first movie, only with more people. And the movie looks about the same too, so... successful sequel that is just the first movie again? Seems like. It works, but doesn't do anything amazing.

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Kfoyu

We made it! This is also known as The Sylvian Experiments so I'm expecting Elfs... or small woodland creatures...

A husband and wife witness experiments that allow victims patients to see reality, and their small kids witness the light... cut to later, the mother is now a rather psychotic doctor who is repeating the experiments, and her latest subject happens to be her own daughter. The sister is trying to work out what is going on, and gets caught up in her mother's plans and her sister's new take on reality.

It's weird, and I think I got a grasp on what was going on, but it's easily possible that I mixed up who was whomst. The movie tries to make a deal out of seeing the reality, and it being the afterlife, but the effects can't really keep up, and the best we got is strange contacts in the actresses' eyes, and really bad CGI light effects. And possibly the whole thing was a dream, I'm not sure...

This movie has a concept it is wanting to portray, but doesn't pull it off well. It isn't terrible, but it's not great.

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Kiadan

This was hard to track down with english subs, but I got the gist.

A samurai says "ha, lol, you owe me money" and the debtor tries to attack the samurai and is killed, but curses the samurai, and everyone is dead except the two young daughters of the debtor and even younger kid of the samurai. Cut to 25 years later, and a tobacco seller falls in love with a teacher, but troubles abound because you'll never guess who they are! Well, the movie makes no real secret of it, and you can tell by the set up I give how it works, so yeah, there are troubles all over the place and more death, because of the curse, as the children live out the curse of the parents (well, just the one guy, but it was an effective curse, and got everyone).

One of those movies set in more historic times, so samurais are more common and people get to dress up in period clothing. It's not terrible, but aside from a small hint of a ghost, most of the supernatural effort is by the curse and so it's more people going "wait, no!" as bad things happen.

Frankly, can be skipped, and easy to do so as there are so many movies named "ghost story"...

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Rebritution

Halfway there, so next one up!

A detective looks into a case of a woman drowned in salt water, but there are odd things happening and it looks like he's mildly implicated. Then another person is similarly drowned, and he goes all ACAB on bringing the murderer in, but that murderer doesn't know anything about the earlier killing, and sees someone no-one else can. The detective starts to see a woman in red, and after another death he just wants to get away with his mistress. However, the woman in red has other plans, and retribution will be gained!

This just feels rather muddled. The victims and indeed the murderers are rather random, just because the woman in red shows up. The detective sort of happens to work out what is going wrong, but even he is still under her influence, and then she kills just because and... yeah, muddled.

The performances are fine, nothing outstanding. The effects are... pretty ropey, even for 2006. To be honest, if this wasn't part of the series, I doubt anyone would bother watching it.

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Prenomition

This was released as a pairing with the previous movie.

A father sees a newspaper that predicts his daughter's death... which happens immediately. He separates from his wife, and leads a somewhat empty life, while the mother becomes a researcher with a focus on premonitions. He gets more premonitions, although he tries to stop them, while she teams up with him again to try to understand. When he is successful, everything falls apart, until he finally does what he's wanted to for years.

This is about grief... yep, straight up, your kid dies and you have to live with that, and can you? The parents barely can, but are subjected to some strange events happening that just seem to compound that grief around other people.

This is a slow build of a movie, with only one gore moment, but with, again, lots of character moments.

It's basic, but it gets on with what it's trying to do.

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Inceftion

Oh wait, this is part of a whole J-Horror Theater... let's roll it back to the first one!

At an overwhelmed hospital, the staff is having trouble taking care of patients, and accidentally kill one. Wanting to avoid exposure, they are willing to help another doctor to examine a patient that was dropped off, that decomposes into green goo... and that green goo proves to be rather infectious and gets into the staff's heads. And it goes downhill from there...

I might have seen this before, but definitely paid more attention this time around. This is definitely more about trying to bury secrets in a hospital with problems, but we get this with green goo. It oozes out, which is the worse part of gore on screen (with a minor part of skin falling off), so this is more about the characters than the situation.

For me j-horror is more about the atmosphere anyway and while not amazing, this does well with what it has.

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Recarination

I'm just a sucker for j-horror.

Nagisa is a would be actress, and she eventually gets hired to be a part of a movie that is recreating a murder spree from 30 years previous. However, she is getting flashes from back then, especially about the last victim, the little girl. What is her connection, and will anyone be able to survive the memories?

I'm sure there are people who will go "hey, I know who she is" and I should have picked it up way earlier, but I went for the obvious here. I hope it's not intended that all the characters are supposed to be reincarnations, as the timelines don't really work out, but whatever, this is j-horror, things happen.

There are good performances, but I think I got two of the actresses confused. The effects are decent, and not high on gore while still leaving not a lot to the imagination. There are a few good ghost kills, but most are off screen.

Certainly one for the genre fans.

[END]

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Edging the Shadow

Oooh, a Jackie Chan movie? Don't mind if I do!

The police have AI and other electronics working for them, but getting cyberattacked doesn't help as a small team attack a bank and (eventually) get away. They call in retired cop Wong Tak-chung, who thinks they are up against an old foe of his, The Shadow. Wong trains up a new group, and they track down the Shadow, but the Shadow's own group isn't against using him against them, and try their own thing. There is another bit hit planned, but everyone is gathering around and attacks are all over the place.

This is a little confusing at times, and for many moments I was just sitting back and letting it wash over me, but hey, it's a fun (in the enjoyable, not comedic, sense) action flick so thinking too hard was never the top priority.

There's a lot of "kids these days" messages, with Wong and the Shadow getting old-school, and Zifeng Zhang as Wong's niece with a chip on her shoulder, but more than capable herself but still needing to prove herself. There are some very nice character moments, but you better believe there is full on Chan style action scenes knocking things about.

I don't know if the sequel will happen, but I hope I catch it if it does!

[END]

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Maddy and Sabby!

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69 mintues

This movie is somewhat longer than 96 minutes.

A bomb expert failed to defuse all the bombs, and a department store exploded, killing a lot of people. Three years later, he and his wife are on a train from a memorial service when he and his director get a call to say there's another bomb. But it's not their train, it's another one, and it'll go off unless they admit what they did. Ah, but if only it was that easy, and simple decisions to be made...

Ah, a quiet train movie...with explosives! This is about guilt and surviving, and revenge for those who didn't, and there is also explosives. Being on a train (two trains!) there is pressure as people can't get away, although some try. Still, I'm sure everyone gets out alive...

Taiwanese movie here, and it's well done. There is some extreme coincidence with who is involved (a teacher happens to overhear the situation and just so happens to be related to people on the other train), but coincidences happen (especially for plot to happen). Good performances all around, big booms, and the dramatic pay off isn't the same thing as the hero gets the girl.

Trains and bombs, what a better pairing could there be?

[END]

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Sned Hepl

I've seen the Amanda the Jedi video about this, so I knew what I was getting into, but...

It's a boys club out there, but one woman is doing the best she can... but she finally sees that the boys club is against her. But a plane crash means its her and her new boss, and soon it becomes very prevalent that he will need to rely on her. However, she likes her new life, and is down for this, at all cost.

This reminded me of the third act of Triangle (and that Madonna movie that no-one wants to remember) in that it's all about "well, well, well, how the turns have tabled..." ... and then we see that everyone is terrible. I'm also reminded of the quote of Lord Acton "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

There's definite some Sam Raimi moments, with Raimi-Cam! And hey, a zombie moment! Rachel McAdams is clearly having fun with this, and I hope Dylan O'Brien also had fun but that doesn't come across (acting!).

This movie will depend on how well you can take the revelation of what the people are really like, but if you are here for just "girl-boss moments" I wouldn't recommend this.

[END]

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undertony

It's another A24 horror movie!

Evy is doing two things: looking after her dying mother, and recording a podcast. And on the podcast, she and her co-host get sent ten audio files, which get progressively creepier. Clearly everything is fine, and Evy isn't inviting a demon into her house and possibly her mother too, why would you ask that?

Just because you have a low budget doesn't mean you can't get a horror movie working. We have two on screen actors (Nina Kiri as Evy and Michele Duquet as the mother) and a host of other people playing off-screen voices, and the set is one house. There are slow pans, and things in mirrors/backgrounds to pay attention to, but the focus is on the audio files and seeing Evy dealing with things by herself.

This movie is a lot about guilt, of dealing with the mother, of potentially becoming a mother herself, played out through the medium of something praying on pregnant women and not being able to stop yourself from bringing it onto yourself.

There's a lot of potential of this whole thing being in Evy's mind, but that is an easy out. But the ending is definitely touching more on what you think is going on more than that you see (which isn't a lot).

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New Maddy?!

And it seems like there will be a new album!

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Diabadical

What if the Boys... but a cartoon?

This is a collection of standalone stories, set in the universe of The Boys. Some feature the characters we know (with their tv actors providing voices) and sometimes just people being in the world, usually dealing with some form of impact from Compound V.

There are a mixture of writers and so we have a mixture of qualities. Some are a contemplative episode, some is written by Justin Roiland (just the one, but it is so Rick and Morty who can't not think of that), and one features a sentient pile of poo (thanks Awkwafina!). They aren't terrible... but their biggest bonus is that they are only around 13 minutes long, so don't get a chance to outstay their welcome.

There is a variety of cartoon styles as well, nothing too out there, but each episode does have its own style. The character models are somewhat the tv, but also the comic style (Hughie is definitely Wee Hughie of the comic). In common is pretty gruesome images of blood and gore everywhere, so that's on brand.

Not a bad distraction, but I doubt anyone will come back to this for a second look.

[END]

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PrimeApe

Monkey! ...very graphic Monkey!

Ben is a chimp... and Ben has rabies. A group of young women return to one of them's home, and say hi to Ben... but Ben has problems, and the movie wastes no time in going from "here are the people" to "here is the chimp attacking them",

The opening shot, which leads to the doctor getting his face ripped off, gets across the point straight away. This movie is going graphic, and it's going practical. The deaths are all practical effects, and the chimp is a man in a chimp suit (I don't completely buy the chimp face mask). This is a brisk 90 minutes, and just assumes everyone is buying into the premise and is here for it.

The young women are... largely interchangeable. So much so that I often couldn't tell which character was who unless they said the names. Troy Kotsur is notable as he is the older man in the movie, and is deaf, so the movie have a few moments playing around that.

This is "Cujo, but a chimp" with practical effects and just getting on with it. It's fine, and if you are after that, then this is definitely for you.

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Bennny Hilly Copppy 3

And that's it, finally caught the last (3rd) one!

Axel's boss gets shot, but the feds tell him to back off investigating... and so he's going to Disney World! No wait, I mean Wonder World! Which is not Disney World at all... but it is in California, so he's back with his buddies, but considering they consist of old friend Billy and new friend Flint... what's the point of him being here? Anyway, there are bad guys at Wonder World, so Axel is going to go in, get thrown out, go in again, get thrown out again, get in again... and I actually lose track. Maybe out and in another time? But anyway, it's all about money, and shooting people.

This definitely feels lighter than the others, no doubt due to the park life of things, but there are still a lot of people getting knocked out or shot, and at least one badly green screened stunt. Oh, and this is a George Lucas movie! (He has a very minor cameo.)

But did this need to be in Beverley Hills? Aside from the park location, there is no Beverley about the place, and you can have parks anywhere, even back near Detroit. But we get to have some excuse for Eddie Murphy to team up with Judge Reinhold (who gets one (1) extremely stupid scene and one (1) cool shooting moment). We have Hector Elizondo as the other cop, and... Bronson Pinchot is back too!

This is a fun movie, but man the script is thin. No wonder they needed a break.

[END]

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Buluk

A scientist's string theory experiment goes wrong when his brane explodes.

With an opening description like that, how can I not watch?

Harlan it brought to the House and must penetrate it to find Ansom. He is guided by Aclima and often stopped by Sessler... and encounters them time and again as he seeks deeper into changing realities and seeks the truth inside to find out what happened to the people in the explosion.

Ben Wheatley wrote and directored this, and while he lists a number of influences at the end, he misses the main obvious one: David Lynch. This is attempting to be Lynchian as fuck, with black and white film, odd angles, odd transitions and odd filmography all around. All transports are actual models (and clearly obviously so), there is tons of green screen (again, not hiding it), and all dialogue is dubbed over the actors talking (again, could have been recorded at the time, but not the way the film wants to do it). With all sorts of influences, this is distinctly odd, but the main chap is there.

We have only four actors, who play all sorts of parts (although not heavily credited we also have Bill Nighy as the Voice - there's no mistaking that speech). I easily recognised Noah Taylor, and maybe Sam Riley.

Weirdness... but I can't entirely say it pays off...

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Anacantda

You know... I can wait for my life to be over.

Hey, get this, what if we remake Anaconda... but the movie is about remaking Anaconda! We still go to the jungle(*), and there is a snake, but it's silly and fun, and the mass death is just for laughs.

(*)Where the jungle in Brasil is played by the forest in Queensland.

However, small problem, there are no laughs. Like, not once. Now I admit I have trouble with comedy sometimes, but seriously, nothing? I don't think I'm that stone faced.

Jack Black and Paul Rudd are... in this, and they are... in the movie. Thandiwe Newton should have been in something better. And no Ice Cube cameos are going to save this.

I'm sure there are some that like this, but it ain't me.

[END]

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Lurv Hurts

A movie from the year of Ke Huy Quan.

It's Valentine's Day and Marvin is a realtor who loves his job. However, an old flame turns up, and suddenly his brother wants Marvin to give up Rose... and suddenly a fight scene breaks out, as Marvin has a backstory he's trying to get away from. Then we have another drama moment, and... another fight breaks out...

And that's a problem with this movie. It swings from "character drama moment" to "fight scene that Jackie Chan would approve of". This isn't even 90 minutes, but this feels like it should be longer to flesh the characters out... as well as feeling too long as this should be an episode in some series.

Ke Huy Quan is fine, still playing the goofy guy with mad action skills. Mustafa Shakir stands out because he is an amazing presence. And... there are a bunch of other people in this, including the main female lead, who are just moments of characters who get involved in fight scenes.

Overall, rather disappointing.

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Project Mail Hary

It's science time!

The sun's going out, but hey, it has it's time, no biggie. Except people are upset about it, so fire off a space craft to deal with it. We find out this as the ship arrives, with only a 33% successful no death rate, and flashbacks giving how this was set up. While we find out the backstory, Grace is there, working out what he can do and what support he can get from around him. I'm sure, as this is Andy Weir, that there's no problems at all.

Yeap, this is the book as the movie. I read the book a few years ago, and this hits a lot of the beats. Some parts are glossed over, but mostly it works (except the link from the Petrov Line to the Astrophage, that could have been a bit more explicit). However, knowing what is going on meant that it did feel like the movie dwelt far too long on some sequences, and although they are already skipping some parts, it could easily be trimmed out more.

Ryan Gosling is fine, and gets to act in a range of hair and beard styles. I would like some behind the scenes information to see if he acted against someone crouched down or if it was pure CGI.

I think I prefer the book, which can lean more into sitting with the problems and the bigger issues, but as a movie of the book, this is pretty accurate.

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Stold Corage

It's a horror! It's a comedy! It's a horror comedy!

NASA sent some organisms up into space, and when the ship went to pieces, some pieces came down, and the organism was different. Fortunately, it was contained in time, and stored away, but hey, line items, costs, gotta sell off properties, and the storage unit becomes... a storage unit. And then the alarm goes off that the something special has been released, and minimum wage stooges and retired military figures need to stop the fungus from spreading more.

Basically, this is the common trope of "what if virus got out of hand" with a couple of extra steps in the set up. It's... fine. It's based on a book, and I can't imagine the book is that much more exciting. The horror is mainly around the effects of the fungus on the body, and the comedy is... that no-one is really treating this seriously? Yeah, it's not really going with a lot of jokes, just a light tone.

We have Joe Keery, who isn't exactly escaping the Stranger Things line of being in weird sci-fi things. Liam Neeson is trying to play "gruff military guy" who gets jokes by undercutting things with a tough tone. And Georgina Campbell is also in this movie.

It's just... fine.

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Long Waaaaaalk

We've had first King, but what about second King?

It's another dystopian future where in order to make money you need to do something stupid for the public. It starts out fine... but it gets grim. When you know what happens after three warnings, and you know the game is on until there is only "one left", then... 

This is a group picture, with relying more of group dynamics that one particular hero (although we do have our hero character). But... I can't say I recognise any of them. Indeed, I didn't even know who played the Major until I looked him up.

Let's be honest, I would be dead before even making mile 1. But I wouldn't be picked. But something else that would be different these days... why just men? There are plenty of women who could out walk these men (although they wouldn't be able to pee so easily).

This is just a bleak movie that gets worse. And one of the worse things is this is nearly two hours!

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Runninninninng Man

He's a man. He runs. Checks out.

Hey, dystopia, we don't know what that's like... but in this one, when you can't get a job, you go on tv and do something stupid. Like get hunted for 30 days to win money so you can afford medicine for your baby. But it's all good... for the network. You die? Ratings. You live? Even more ratings. And no-one wins the full 30 days, what sort of man could do that? Not with the network in control.

Well, you can't accuse this movie of subtlety. This is a terrible thing happening to people? Yep, just outright state all that. Still, the movie looks good, so Edgar Wright has that going for him, if not much else as this is not a deep picture like others he's done. But, hey, it's Stephen King, so you do what you can.

Glen Powell is fine, and... it's William H Macy, Lee Pace, Michael Cera, and even Joss Brolin. Only small parts, but names enough, and the rest of the cast is fine as well.

If we ignore the story, this is a good movie... if we ignore the story.

[END]

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Best Maddy Album?

I watched this Zebra Charts video about Madonna and it made me wonder... how well did the albums do? So this means... statistics!

First of all, I'm just going for the main albums, no compilations, no part contributions, with the one exception being I'm Breathless, which is all Madonna songs. Then I'm looking at the US Billboard Top 200 albums for the album rank, and for each released single the US Billboard Top 100. (Not all songs have a listing there, especially in the latter albums, so I do wonder if I should be looking at something else.)

And all numbers based on what Wikipaedia has, so I'm assuming they are accurate.

I looked at: how many songs did the album have (first release, no special add ons), what rank did that album get, how many singles were released, of those how many got to Top 10, and how many got to Top 1.

We can look at percentages of singles that got top, and all that, but it's pretty clear... True Blue is the winner! So she peaked in 1986... well, it does have my two favourite songs of hers... Huh.

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Blak Phon 2

Sequel? Don't need it... let's do it!

The kids from the first movie (I assume, I can't remember) are called, via dreams, out to the lake where it just so happens that a) their mom was there, and b) the Grabber started there. They join up with the camp owners and seek out the kids who were killed there previously, to take away the Grabber's power.

From IMDB: "the sequel was not based on a specific Joe Hill story" and yeah, it shows. This movie has nothing to do and spins its wheels not doing anything. The kids "powers" (talking on the phone, having visions in dreams) are cranked up to 11 to give some excuse for having any old phone ring and to have her have weird dreams they can use to be "scary" (but not actually scary).

Why did Ethan Hawke come back for this? Did he have nothing better to do? I can't recognise the other actors from anything else, so I'm guessing they didn't. Certainly there isn't a lot of budget to splash around, the biggest effect they do is put some post processing filter on the dream segments, which is nice, but otherwise was this filmed all at a backlot? I'd believe it.

We didn't need 2, so I'm sure they'll wring a 3 out of this...

[END]

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Doc Martin

I've done it, I've seen it all!

He's a fish out of water, he's a doctor is a small town village... that could describe a lot of series, but in this case it is Doc Martin, starring Martin Clunes. Who is kinda based on the character in the two tv movies, which was based on the character from the even earlier tv movie... but they couldn't spin up a tv series with that character (who is far too chill) and made him more uptight.

This is ten seasons, however as this is British tv, these are around eight episodes per, which the US wouldn't hit for several years. Often at the end of each season he is no longer able to be the village doctor... and then in the next season they work out how he can doctor again. Also I watched the beginning of each season wondering who came back. There was a big break after four seasons where several main characters don't return, so they quickly slot some other characters into those positions. (Oh, he gets another inexperienced secretary... oh, he has another aunt!)

There is definite character change, but more to the other characters than him. He does get married and has children, but still remains uptight and outspoken and with a bloodphobia (although the last episode quickly tries to pivot that to something else).

With Martin Clunes we get Ian McNeice, Stephanie Cole, and Katherine Parkinson (who is competent with computers... what?). Aside from those known, we get Caroline Catz, Joe Absolom, Selina Cadell, John Marquez, Jessica Random, and who turns out to be the absolutely lovely Eileen Atkins. And cameos from Ben Miller, Jeff Rawle, Chris O'Dowd, Louise Jameson, Caroline Quentin, Sigourney Weaver (!), and Rupert Graves, amongst others.

The reason I went into this is because there is now a US reboot, Best Medicine. The pilot episode is pretty much the same. There are different stories in there, but again some borrowed plots (such as one involving the doctor's father... who is played here by Martin Clunes!). But because this is a tv series in this current year, it's just ten episodes. Ah well, something else they got from the UK!

A fun wee series, ends on a Christmas episode. Definitely rewatchable!

 

[END]

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Bone Temple is Ready!

Some period of 28 later, the companion film!

The Jimmys are a bunch of complete a-holes, at least the lead Jimmy is and everyone else follows his lead. Alternatively, Ralph Fiennes is nearly naked and gets drugged up with the lead zombie. Eventually their paths cross, and it can only go one way, especially as we know how things are heading from the last movie.

Despite this being close to the previous movie, I can barely remember any of it, so much so that I wasn't sure if Spike was from it or not. The two main plots proceed pretty much as you expect, so much so that I was thinking it was retreading stuff from the previous movie. Although I watched it one my main screen, I may not have picked up on everything.

Ralph is fine, and the rest of the cast is decent, and... it's a well made film. But I am probably not giving it the justice it deserves.

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Shuttering again

Indonesia movie about the dangers of taking photographs.

Darwin is a photographer, but his pictures are showing a strange woman in them. Slowly he and his girlfriend work out that she is related to the woman they ran over, and now it's about them trying to escape her curse, which she enacts on people she has been photographed with.

I was about a third of the way through this when I got the sensation that this was very familiar and... this is a remake of the 2004 movie of the same name. That's it! I saw that, and now I saw this.

So what does this bring over the original... well, it's in Indonesian, so there's that. But as this is about analog photography, this doesn't update the tech to be able current technology, so...

It's fine. I hope the film makers and people involved did this because it was something they wanted to, but if you seen the original you've seen this, and vice versa.

[END]

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Hilent Sill: The Return

So, as a movie based on a video game...

James returns to Silent Hill, and suffers many a flashback and he wanders around the town, bumping into people who are metaphors for his past life and love. He stumbles from place to place, encountering plot beats and not at all subtle references until finally he gets several endings.

So I'm trying to view this movie on the level of it being a movie and... it's a mess. Just random moments stitched together, going from one place to another just to justify another memory flash back, and then tying it all together in blatant story telling.

And as a movie adaptation... I can see why they went with some of the changes, they don't have time for all the original sub plots, but then they still reference them anyway. And then what was the point of some of the things they did include? Aside from game nods, they don't serve any purpose (what was any point of Eddie?).

Fans will be able to say more about this, but I can't say I was thrilled to return here.

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Better Ape

Hey, it's that monkey movie!

Robert has a not terrible life (considering), but has a star in his eye. With a random bit of cheekiness, he joins Take That, but is repressed by his bandmates... and needs to break free. Badly, after a terrible whirlwind romance, he does, he's on top, he's... hating every moment of it.

As much as people love this, this does feel like a standard biopic movie. Not great childhood, break out fame, drugs, so many drugs, and a big concert.

Except he's a monkey. That does take a moment to vibe with, but it works fine, and fits really well. I will agree that we need more monkey movies.

Oh, and Steve Pemberton is in this, with some really bad wigs. Odd after seeing him in Taskmaster.

So I've seen it, but... meh, it was fine, not amazing.

If you want a better take on it all:

Are Music Biopics Good Now?

[END]

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Virtuscosity

Since I mentioned it...

In the far future of 1999, virtual reality is so far advanced people are being trained to fight crime... where people are criminals who are testing the system. One such is ex-cop Parker Barnes, who went away for killing the man who killed his family. However, to provide a good test, he is up against Sid 6.7, who is every bad guy combined, including the killer, who of course is dominant. Due to horniness, Sid escapes into the real world, and only Parker can track him down, despite being continually set up as the bad guy. But, hey, at least guns are free and plenty.

It's Denzel Washington being Denzel Washington, so very watchable (and he gets to beat up a nazi!). Russel Crowe is eating all the scenery (literally in one scene), and gloriously hamming it up. There's also a collection of other famous faces, and a very young Kelly Cuoco!

This is pure cheese, but it isn't really trying for anything else. Everyone just looks to be enjoying themselves, although no-one as much as Russell Crowe.

Watch for a laugh, not for deep philosophy.

[END]

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Tron Tares

Subtlety? What's that then?

Dillinger creates a monster, but perhaps the monster is more than the creator? Ares is that Frankenstein's monster, and when ordered to kill Dillinger's competitor, he decides that after having stalked her, she is the one who must live. And so we get real people in the digital world, and digital people in the real world (physics? what's that then?). And for creatures that can only survive 29 minutes in the real world, damn that is a long ass 29 minutes for us to suffer through.

Did this need to be a Tron movie? Did this need to be any movie? It does inherit some backstory and world setting it can otherwise skip over, but it also skips over how one goes about creating digital things in the real world, so whatever. And hey, I've seen Virtuosity!

There are some worthy people in here, but everyone gets overshadowed by Jared Leto, for whom this feels like a vanity project. And the CGI is... fine. But it all makes me wonder how it is supposed to work in the real world.

Well, now we wait for the inevitable sequel.

At least the sound track was great!

[END]

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Initialism D

Read the manga (well, some of), watched the anime (well, some of), so why not watch the movie (all of)?

Takumi drives fast, like real fast. And he delivers tofu. So when some racers see him racing, they go "hey, we want tofu!" ... I mean "we want to race him" and so the first act of the movie is just getting him to race point. The second act is getting him to get excited about racing. And the third act is to get him racing while thinking about his girlfriend. (Yes, they keep Natsuki having "that" relationship, although I have no idea if the manga/anime gives it up as she does here.)

It's very compressed, in that in the manga/anime several chapters/episodes can be one race alone, but here we have several. It's not bad in that, but it does feel very "and now they suddenly decide to do the next bit" as opposed to moving the story along more organically.

There are definite movie tricks, where the movie will freeze on a particular frame. That is probably a nod to various manga panels, but it really just feels like the movie forgot to actually move. There is a few other stylistic shots, but the driving is well shot, so we do feel like there is indeed a race. I'm not sure where they filmed it, but I'm sure it was often loud and noisy night shoots.

I am nearly tempted to get the full anime and watch that, as I know there is a lot more that takes place after this, but I doubt I'll around to that any time soon...

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Baff Led

He was in one major TV series, can Leonard Nimoy make it two?

Tom Kovack gets a new skill in the way of psychic visions, which is rather impractical when driving in a car race. Michele Brent takes his visions as the truth, and together they head to sunny ole England to find... some supernatural vagueness that causes some kind of problems I guess that are problems? But at least Tom can see random images to solve the case!

This is a TV movie that is basically a pilot... that quite obviously was never going to go anywhere as soon as you see it. The acting is terrible and the effects are worse. At least there is Christopher Benjamin.

The most baffling part of all is what they thought the poster was all about:

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Bootopia too

It's that movie where the bad fox because a good fox... no, the other one.

Judy and... fox... (already forgot his name) are trying really hard, and go from screwing up a case to getting framed as the bad guys in another crime, involving a snake, because reptiles are now a thing this movie. They chase the plot around for a while, giving only a nodding pretense towards a character arc, and then get to the big set piece at the end of the movie.

What a pointless movie. Now, there is no doubt many people who love this, and it's a big thing for the furries and the scalies and... but for me, this is a big nothing burger. Nothing of note happens, the jokes are are flat, and there's no tension anywhere.

The voices are all fine, although Ke Huy Quan doesn't get that much to do given that he is now a thing. I'm sure there are many cameos of note, but aside from Danny Trejo, I didn't hear anyone.

There is likely going to be a third movie, and I'll get around to watching it... with the same enthusiasm as I saw this.

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Benny Hilly Coppy 2

Hey, I forgot I was watching these. Let's get number 2 done!

Bogomil is investigating a case, but gets shot at. This bring Foley back to Beverly Hills to team up once again with Taggart and Rosewood. Foley once again bluffs his way into a house, into various clubs, and through most of the movie. Taggart and Rosewood tag along, and happen to be there when big events happen, until they all accidentally manage to solve the crime no-one wanted them on.

Rosewood... is a terrible cop. Like, none of them are good, Foley breaks the law all the time, Taggart doesn't give a damn, but Rosewood has a gun collection most 2nd Amendment freaks would be proud of, and his incompetence actively allows criminals to get away. Now this is part comedy, but when you are siding with the hard-ass chief, you know you screwed the character up.

We get a lot of returning cast (I assume, I can't remember who was in the first one), although we do also get "the chief turned over a lot of the department" to explain why, other than the main three, none of the other police officers we might know of are around. And there are some notable names joining them, with Jürgen Prochnow being menacing, Dean Stockwell badly sporting a mustache, Gilbert Godfried cameoing, and Brigitte Nielsen not singing.

This is a very light movie, with japes and goofs galore and no-one taking anything seriously, including the bad guys. As a sequel, this doesn't feel like it needed to be made beyond "hey, those guys had fun making the first one, let's get them back together!"

[END]

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Exunt 8

Not the game, which I played, but the movie.

The Lost Man gets off a train and tries to get out from the Japanese train station... only he keeps encountering the same corridor. However this is a metaphor for how confused he is over hearing his girlfriend/wife is pregnant. There is a Walking Man, a School Girl, and a Boy... and while there are a lot of anomalies, the Boy ends up being a bit of a cheat code.

Did this need to be a movie? Probably not. The game was decent enough, I played it, had to get some help for some of the subtler anomalies... but as a narrative experience? This movie played the corridor as basically a form of purgatory where people get trapped (see the man and his pregnancy consideration), and so they have to go through the corridor many times.

Most of the anomalies are from the game, and if you know the game, you can definitely spot them, although the movie choses not very subtle ones, and the people hit a lot more anomalies than in the game. Although the movie does give a good demonstration about how paranoid people get about taking note of every possible thing.

There is some camera trickery to get around the repeating set, but I think they did two full corridors and worked around that. The Walking Man looks a damn lot like his game self. The main protagonist is fine, but his arc is kind of basic.

This is fine, nothing amazing. It cashes in on the game popularity well, but will they do the train game next? We'll see.

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Gerry Majuire

Rounding off the recommendations by Cruising with Tom.

Jerry is a sports agent to decides to go alone gets fired. He's able to do things his own way, but it's a big task.

Renee Zellweger is cute as ever, Cuba Gooding Jnr is definitely better in this than about nearly everyone else... but the problem is is that Tom Cruise is completely unlikeable, as himself, as Jerry. I just don't care that he's fallen, that he's picking himself up, that we are supposed to be interested in any way in his story.

This might contain some big meme moments, but that doesn't make this a good movie.

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The Piany

Okay, another recommendation, and a New Zealand one!

Ada McGrath and daughter comes to New Zealand as a mail order bride (as was the style at the time), however her would be husband doesn't care for her piano skills, although that is the only was she has of expressing herself. George Baines does show interested in her and her skills, and her playing the piano makes her horny and so she gives into Baines' desires. Oops, and as it turns out the would be husband is a mess ("you make me hurt you"), so, frankly, sod him.

Okay, this is a decent picture, Holly Hunter gives a good performance, Sam Neill does his job well, and even Anna Paquin is quite good. Harvey Keitel isn't believable as whatever character he was playing, and I didn't really want to see him (or Holly Hunter) naked.

Better people than me can tell you what the piano is a metaphor for, but damn, can Holly Hunter play it well! So hat off to Jane Campion but to be honest...

This movie isn't really one for me.

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My Vousin Cinny

For this last group of movies, I got other people to recommend me some options. First up this Joe Pesci special.

Two youths get themselves in trouble down in Alabamy when they confess to a crime, but not the one the sheriff is interested in. Eventually claiming innocent, they get a cousin who is a big city lawyer... who has never actually tried a case before. Fortunately, he has a financee who is much classier than him.

Yeah, no, this was great! I've heard about this, but this is indeed my first time, and it charmed the socks off of me. Joe Pesci is great, not too smarmy (as his character could be), but more realistic of his abilities. Marisa Tomei puts on an outrageous accent, but is the best character in the movie. The Southerners don't come off that well, but are still treated authentically all around.

But as to the realism of the case... judge, I would like to call in an expert witness:

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The Orrivol

This came out at the exact same time as Independence Day, but I think this is the better movie.

Hotting up events are happening over the planet, and at the same time Zane hears a signal from a far away star. And then tracks it to an earth event in Mexico. Heading down there, he bumps into Ilana, who is casually killed off. He also finds aliens under the earth, and manages to run away. In the big climatic end scene, will they use a radio dish??

Charlie Sheen is Zane, a paranoid scientist who sweats a lot. Lindsay Crouse is Ilana, a weather scientist that unfortunately gets into zoology. Ron Silver is the creepy guys. And Leon Rippy plays one of the best evil bad guy minions seen on the screen.

This isn't the only movie where aliens help speed up global warning, but it is a great one that doesn't bother getting a big action star. Ilana gets killed off halfway through the movie, and Zane's big thing is being able to push buttons.

There is a neat effect of the rotating globe that looked a lot better in the 90s, but the alien design is kept simple and the big thing is backwards folding knees. Suddenly seeing a character bend their knees the other way is a great moment of "wah".

(There was also a sequel, but we don't need to talk about that.)

So that's was some of the 90s movies I remember. What else is there?

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Evont Horizen

Now this is sci-fi horror!

The Lewis and Clarke are sent to rescue the Event Horizon, a ship that used a gravity drive but disappeared. However, when the ship came back, it wasn't the same. The crew of the L&C are trying to just survive but Dr Weir has other ideas, and sides with the ship. Time to find out what hell really is.

This was something quite different: a haunted ghost ship, but the ship in this case is a space ship. I'm surprised this isn't more common, but then it's easier to justify other haunted houses/sea ships than space ones. The crew react more normally than others in this scenario, in that they recognise there's some shit going down, but they want to get the hell out... but they can't.

Sam Neill gets to be weird in this, but we also have Lawrence Fishburne, Jason Isaacs, Sean Pertwee, Richard T Jones... and around them is some great sets. And you won't believe the CGI effects, because they are really bad, but whatever. The practical gravity drive is great, and the dressing of the ship's bridge is evocative.

This definitely needs a great commentary track talking about it, but unfortunately...

And you can the School of Movies talking about this, because I asked them to.

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Hoose on Hoonted Holl

This seems to be '90s month, so let the good times roll!

A group of idiots are brought to a house, and if they survive the night, they gets all the monies! Except...

As this is a remake, there are several rules that get enacted to spruce the movie up, and make it a real 90s piece. 1) There is a backstory to the place, b) the idiots have a connection to each other for more soap opera, and, oh yeah, iii) the ghosts are real. No Vincent Price with a skeleton on a rope here!

While there are some great actors here, from Geoffrey Rush, Fanke Jansen, Ali Larter, Bridget Wilson (whom I'm sure should have had a better career), unfortunately we do get way too much Chris Kattan, and not even Jeffrey Combs can come soon enough to sort him out.

The effects are.. decent enough. I certainly enjoy them, and there are some great practical stuff happening. The opening alone is a nice bit of puppetry and horror imagery. (Although the model of the house couldn't look more like the model of a house. And the CGI ghost shadow is... well...)

Anyway, highly entertaining horror that is doused in comedy, whether they meant it to be or not.

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Doun Peri's cope

Now this is a comedy!

A wacky commander is given captain of a diesel sub and a mission: blow up a ship (dummy). He's given a crew of even more wacky characters and together they must survive against the best the American navy has.

Kelsey Grammer is in fine form here, being equal parts sincere and getting right into the spirit of the absurdity this movie represents. The crew are, as noted, a series of wacky character types, and I don't know how many of them are written or just them improving their own bits. Unfortunately, this movie does feature Rob Schneider, but he is made a fool of repeatedly, so he is barely tolerable. Lauren Holly has an unenviable job of being a woman on a submarine full of men, and while the movie doesn't pass up the chance to show off that she is indeed a woman, the movie does otherwise treat her character respectably (although the low key romance plot with Kelsey Grammer's character does raise very awkward questions about power in relationships...).

Frankly, this movie never fails to get a smile out of me, and it's great to throw on to have a good time!

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Lake Placard

This is the start of something big.

There is something in Black Lake (the name Lake Placid was already taken), and this brings together a sheriff, a fish and wildlife officer, a paleontologist, and a mythicist to try to handle the threat. And do a terrible job of it, while all are bickering with each other.

Look at this cast list: Bridget Fonda, Bill Pullman, Oliver Platt, and Brendan Gleeson. Now that's a great group of people, and they are all in fine form (although Gleeson gets some lines that wouldn't quite go quite as well these days). And then there's Betty White, in full "I don't give a fuck" mode!

This movie is only 80 minutes, but as a comedy that is also a low level creature feature, it gets in and tells some scenes and packs those minutes in. On the negative side, this did spawn many, MANY SyFy original sequels, of which the only good thing is Yancy Butler.

But this original is a classic, and not the only one.

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Hudsonian Hawk

Ah, is it comedy or "comedy"?

He only just got out of jail, but already Hudson is pulled into running burglary jobs, for crooks, for the CIA, and for corporate leaders (I will lead the overlap between those categories for other people). All in the name of getting Da Vinci's crystal to turn lead into gold. And to sing some songs. This isn't a musical, but you could easily pretend it is.

Yeah, there's no taking this movie seriously. The crew knew what they were doing, and everyone is having fun... well, rather famously Richard E. Grant and Sandra Bernhardt didn't, but even their performances are so wacky, it fits everything well.

I do like fun stupid movies, and the 90s had a couple.

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Bwoken Awwow

It's Woo time!

Never mind the ambiguity, this time a Major decides to get his with the threat of nuclear weapons, purely because it's all about his ego. Up against him is a Captain and a Park Ranger. And paying the price is... several helicopters.

Seriously, this movie hates helicopters. Over the course of the movie, it destroys four of them at one point or another, taking out both good guys and bad guys.

And this is definitely a guy fest. We have Travolta vs Slater and it's great how they spark off each other. Travolta is starting his Evil phase and is loving every minute of it, whereas Slater is the pure one. We do get Samantha Mathis, who was Slater's actual romantic partner at one time. And speaking of romance, we don't even get a kiss between the boy and girl, just a hug! (Although flirtatious promise of more.)

And we get Zimmer on the score, with the lovely twangy acoustic guitar sound, backing the theme of the struggle between Travolta and Slater. Okay, may it isn't better than The Rock's score, but I like this movie better, so I am ranking it higher.

Just a great set of movies with great music.

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The Roock

Bayaction time!

A general is fed up with marines dying and the American military complex not honoring them, so he takes matters into his own hands, and also takes Alcatraz. Up against him is one SEAL team (expendable), one retired SAS soldier, and one chemical superfreak. No problem, eh?

Another movie where the bad guy has clear motivations, so it isn't all so clear cut how it should pay out. However, it's somewhat undercut by the men under him going "yeah, I just want my money" so we do get clear cut bad guys to get exploded. And if the script wasn't so against them, they might have just pulled it off.

Connery and Cage get most of the credit here, of course, although I could do with dialing Cage down several notches. But Harris and Morse give better performances as men who know what they are doing is wrong, but are going to do it anyway... until the time comes when they can't. Masterful tension there.

And the soundtrack.... is just fantastic. Great score by Zimmer, just trumpets and guitars to stir the heart and make it pound, and then a flute track that wouldn't be out of place on the softer moments of Lord of the Rings.

There's only one film that can beat it on sound...

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Cromsin Tide

A great blast from the past!

In a time of Russian aggression (really? would that ever happen) a nuclear submarine is given orders to launch a nuclear attack... but an interrupted message might be negating that... and that is the set up of one hell of a tense battle between "The Captain Is Always Right" and "The XO Is Trying To Not Go To War". As they say at the end, it's a hell of a mess, on the one hand, full orders, on the other, the threat of war.

According to IMDB this was a Soviet incident, not an American one, but Hollywood ain't gonna tell Soviet stories... but this is a damn well written movie (yes, with punch up by Tarantino) and Washington and Hackman give masterful performances. And hey, that's one Viggo Mortensen, I wonder if he'll go on to do anything else? And smoking... there is lots of smoking...

Of course Tony Scott is the director, who recently passed, bringing this movie back to mind. And while rewatching it... the music really stood out to me too. Such good soundtracks on movies back then. Speaking of which...

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