The Piany

Okay, another recommendation, and a New Zealand one!

Ada McGrath and daughter comes to New Zealand as a mail order bride (as was the style at the time), however her would be husband doesn't care for her piano skills, although that is the only was she has of expressing herself. George Baines does show interested in her and her skills, and her playing the piano makes her horny and so she gives into Baines' desires. Oops, and as it turns out the would be husband is a mess ("you make me hurt you"), so, frankly, sod him.

Okay, this is a decent picture, Holly Hunter gives a good performance, Sam Neill does his job well, and even Anna Paquin is quite good. Harvey Keitel isn't believable as whatever character he was playing, and I didn't really want to see him (or Holly Hunter) naked.

Better people than me can tell you what the piano is a metaphor for, but damn, can Holly Hunter play it well! So hat off to Jane Campion but to be honest...

This movie isn't really one for me.

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My Vousin Cinny

For this last group of movies, I got other people to recommend me some options. First up this Joe Pesci special.

Two youths get themselves in trouble down in Alabamy when they confess to a crime, but not the one the sheriff is interested in. Eventually claiming innocent, they get a cousin who is a big city lawyer... who has never actually tried a case before. Fortunately, he has a financee who is much classier than him.

Yeah, no, this was great! I've heard about this, but this is indeed my first time, and it charmed the socks off of me. Joe Pesci is great, not too smarmy (as his character could be), but more realistic of his abilities. Marisa Tomei puts on an outrageous accent, but is the best character in the movie. The Southerners don't come off that well, but are still treated authentically all around.

But as to the realism of the case... judge, I would like to call in an expert witness:

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The Orrivol

This came out at the exact same time as Independence Day, but I think this is the better movie.

Hotting up events are happening over the planet, and at the same time Zane hears a signal from a far away star. And then tracks it to an earth event in Mexico. Heading down there, he bumps into Ilana, who is casually killed off. He also finds aliens under the earth, and manages to run away. In the big climatic end scene, will they use a radio dish??

Charlie Sheen is Zane, a paranoid scientist who sweats a lot. Lindsay Crouse is Ilana, a weather scientist that unfortunately gets into zoology. Ron Silver is the creepy guys. And Leon Rippy plays one of the best evil bad guy minions seen on the screen.

This isn't the only movie where aliens help speed up global warning, but it is a great one that doesn't bother getting a big action star. Ilana gets killed off halfway through the movie, and Zane's big thing is being able to push buttons.

There is a neat effect of the rotating globe that looked a lot better in the 90s, but the alien design is kept simple and the big thing is backwards folding knees. Suddenly seeing a character bend their knees the other way is a great moment of "wah".

(There was also a sequel, but we don't need to talk about that.)

So that's was some of the 90s movies I remember. What else is there?

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Evont Horizen

Now this is sci-fi horror!

The Lewis and Clarke are sent to rescue the Event Horizon, a ship that used a gravity drive but disappeared. However, when the ship came back, it wasn't the same. The crew of the L&C are trying to just survive but Dr Weir has other ideas, and sides with the ship. Time to find out what hell really is.

This was something quite different: a haunted ghost ship, but the ship in this case is a space ship. I'm surprised this isn't more common, but then it's easier to justify other haunted houses/sea ships than space ones. The crew react more normally than others in this scenario, in that they recognise there's some shit going down, but they want to get the hell out... but they can't.

Sam Neill gets to be weird in this, but we also have Lawrence Fishburne, Jason Isaacs, Sean Pertwee, Richard T Jones... and around them is some great sets. And you won't believe the CGI effects, because they are really bad, but whatever. The practical gravity drive is great, and the dressing of the ship's bridge is evocative.

This definitely needs a great commentary track talking about it, but unfortunately...

And you can the School of Movies talking about this, because I asked them to.

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Hoose on Hoonted Holl

This seems to be '90s month, so let the good times roll!

A group of idiots are brought to a house, and if they survive the night, they gets all the monies! Except...

As this is a remake, there are several rules that get enacted to spruce the movie up, and make it a real 90s piece. 1) There is a backstory to the place, b) the idiots have a connection to each other for more soap opera, and, oh yeah, iii) the ghosts are real. No Vincent Price with a skeleton on a rope here!

While there are some great actors here, from Geoffrey Rush, Fanke Jansen, Ali Larter, Bridget Wilson (whom I'm sure should have had a better career), unfortunately we do get way too much Chris Kattan, and not even Jeffrey Combs can come soon enough to sort him out.

The effects are.. decent enough. I certainly enjoy them, and there are some great practical stuff happening. The opening alone is a nice bit of puppetry and horror imagery. (Although the model of the house couldn't look more like the model of a house. And the CGI ghost shadow is... well...)

Anyway, highly entertaining horror that is doused in comedy, whether they meant it to be or not.

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Doun Peri's cope

Now this is a comedy!

A wacky commander is given captain of a diesel sub and a mission: blow up a ship (dummy). He's given a crew of even more wacky characters and together they must survive against the best the American navy has.

Kelsey Grammer is in fine form here, being equal parts sincere and getting right into the spirit of the absurdity this movie represents. The crew are, as noted, a series of wacky character types, and I don't know how many of them are written or just them improving their own bits. Unfortunately, this movie does feature Rob Schneider, but he is made a fool of repeatedly, so he is barely tolerable. Lauren Holly has an unenviable job of being a woman on a submarine full of men, and while the movie doesn't pass up the chance to show off that she is indeed a woman, the movie does otherwise treat her character respectably (although the low key romance plot with Kelsey Grammer's character does raise very awkward questions about power in relationships...).

Frankly, this movie never fails to get a smile out of me, and it's great to throw on to have a good time!

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Lake Placard

This is the start of something big.

There is something in Black Lake (the name Lake Placid was already taken), and this brings together a sheriff, a fish and wildlife officer, a paleontologist, and a mythicist to try to handle the threat. And do a terrible job of it, while all are bickering with each other.

Look at this cast list: Bridget Fonda, Bill Pullman, Oliver Platt, and Brendan Gleeson. Now that's a great group of people, and they are all in fine form (although Gleeson gets some lines that wouldn't quite go quite as well these days). And then there's Betty White, in full "I don't give a fuck" mode!

This movie is only 80 minutes, but as a comedy that is also a low level creature feature, it gets in and tells some scenes and packs those minutes in. On the negative side, this did spawn many, MANY SyFy original sequels, of which the only good thing is Yancy Butler.

But this original is a classic, and not the only one.

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Hudsonian Hawk

Ah, is it comedy or "comedy"?

He only just got out of jail, but already Hudson is pulled into running burglary jobs, for crooks, for the CIA, and for corporate leaders (I will lead the overlap between those categories for other people). All in the name of getting Da Vinci's crystal to turn lead into gold. And to sing some songs. This isn't a musical, but you could easily pretend it is.

Yeah, there's no taking this movie seriously. The crew knew what they were doing, and everyone is having fun... well, rather famously Richard E. Grant and Sandra Bernhardt didn't, but even their performances are so wacky, it fits everything well.

I do like fun stupid movies, and the 90s had a couple.

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Bwoken Awwow

It's Woo time!

Never mind the ambiguity, this time a Major decides to get his with the threat of nuclear weapons, purely because it's all about his ego. Up against him is a Captain and a Park Ranger. And paying the price is... several helicopters.

Seriously, this movie hates helicopters. Over the course of the movie, it destroys four of them at one point or another, taking out both good guys and bad guys.

And this is definitely a guy fest. We have Travolta vs Slater and it's great how they spark off each other. Travolta is starting his Evil phase and is loving every minute of it, whereas Slater is the pure one. We do get Samantha Mathis, who was Slater's actual romantic partner at one time. And speaking of romance, we don't even get a kiss between the boy and girl, just a hug! (Although flirtatious promise of more.)

And we get Zimmer on the score, with the lovely twangy acoustic guitar sound, backing the theme of the struggle between Travolta and Slater. Okay, may it isn't better than The Rock's score, but I like this movie better, so I am ranking it higher.

Just a great set of movies with great music.

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The Roock

Bayaction time!

A general is fed up with marines dying and the American military complex not honoring them, so he takes matters into his own hands, and also takes Alcatraz. Up against him is one SEAL team (expendable), one retired SAS soldier, and one chemical superfreak. No problem, eh?

Another movie where the bad guy has clear motivations, so it isn't all so clear cut how it should pay out. However, it's somewhat undercut by the men under him going "yeah, I just want my money" so we do get clear cut bad guys to get exploded. And if the script wasn't so against them, they might have just pulled it off.

Connery and Cage get most of the credit here, of course, although I could do with dialing Cage down several notches. But Harris and Morse give better performances as men who know what they are doing is wrong, but are going to do it anyway... until the time comes when they can't. Masterful tension there.

And the soundtrack.... is just fantastic. Great score by Zimmer, just trumpets and guitars to stir the heart and make it pound, and then a flute track that wouldn't be out of place on the softer moments of Lord of the Rings.

There's only one film that can beat it on sound...

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Cromsin Tide

A great blast from the past!

In a time of Russian aggression (really? would that ever happen) a nuclear submarine is given orders to launch a nuclear attack... but an interrupted message might be negating that... and that is the set up of one hell of a tense battle between "The Captain Is Always Right" and "The XO Is Trying To Not Go To War". As they say at the end, it's a hell of a mess, on the one hand, full orders, on the other, the threat of war.

According to IMDB this was a Soviet incident, not an American one, but Hollywood ain't gonna tell Soviet stories... but this is a damn well written movie (yes, with punch up by Tarantino) and Washington and Hackman give masterful performances. And hey, that's one Viggo Mortensen, I wonder if he'll go on to do anything else? And smoking... there is lots of smoking...

Of course Tony Scott is the director, who recently passed, bringing this movie back to mind. And while rewatching it... the music really stood out to me too. Such good soundtracks on movies back then. Speaking of which...

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