Tuesday 7 October 2008

Milk Who

Time and time ago, there was a UK radio show (no, really, there was) called "The Milk Run", a comedy program, about which there is very little that can be found on the web. Bits were remixed by Osymyso, and one such bit was a wee sketch (around 28 minutes in) about a topic we might find familiar, reproduced (without permission from anyone, but full credit to the show and its writer) below the fold.

REAL ESTATE AGENT: And, this is the lounge.
HER: Oh, it's lovely, isn't it?
AGENT: All original features. (lions roar) The lions are staying.
HIM: Wonderful. And the feeling I've been here before?
AGENT: No, I'm afraid they're taking that with them.
HIM: Oh, but it's lovely, isn't it, darling?
HER: We could set up a little sniper's nest in this window.
AGENT: Oh, you're a keen sniper are you?
HER: I do like to keep my hand in. (gunshot)
AGENT: Oh-ho, look out!
(All laugh.)
HER: What are the neighbours like?
AGENT: Cybermen.
HER: Shit.
AGENT: Yeah, well, it's the area, you see. It's a very mutlicultural area. They keep pretty quiet. They will occasionally try to kill you, but if you keep a low profile, you'll be all right.
HIM: I do like the house, but I'm not happy about living next to Cybermen.
HER: Oh, darling, they're not that bad.
HIM: Not that bad!? They come over here, they take all our jobs, they make no effort to learn our culture, AND they try to kill everybody. Remember when John had the Daleks move next door to them? He had Davros turning up to their doorstep at all hours. Drunk off his head, they left dead bodies in front garden, up on bricks, and the smell.
HER: You're just a racialist.
HIM: I'm not a racialist. What about Steve? He's an alien. He's all right.
HER: He's not an alien. He's from the Isle of Man.

[END]

No comments: