Monday 2 July 2012

Spidershake!

What's the worst thing about earthquakes? If you said, Spider attack! then this is the movie for you! However, for the rest of us, this is an atrocious mess... comparable to Asylum! It is a Syfy movie, so they are clearly setting their benchmarks.

In New Orleans there was an earthquake (we don't get to see it, the characters tell us there was. On the one hand, we can live without it, on the other hand, show don't tell), and now there are spiders. Of increasing size, of course. And lo!, there were a bunch of no-bodies that have to deal with it, while pretending to have interesting characters, and whose death scenes are no more than 'oh, they died'. And yes, there is the huge spider fight, because you have to have a huge spider fight. (Yes, yes you do have to have one. If there wasn't one, I would have docked major points from this movie, because the audience demands a giant spider fight, so we got one! Yay!) It's a stupid fight, but it's there.

And in the slumming it stakes, we have Ethan Phillips, and if there was anyone else of note in this movie, they had the grace to not have a career I've heard of. I do note with amusement that the main guy is an actor named Bug Hall. The spiders are clearly CGI, although there is a nice large prop one they play with.

You get what you expect with this movie, and it's as terrible as you'd think.

[END]

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