In this horror movie, we are supposed to be on the side of the killers, right?
Out on a stretch of road, it's a bad patch for car accidents. Fortunately, an ambulance arrives quickly to these parts. Unfortunately, it's fill of killers who will, well, kill you. Around this time, we get a bunch of stuck up young people who are total prats, and so they eventually get killed off. And by eventually, I mean the film spends far too much time on their Jersey Shore lives and we have no interest in any of them, and can't wait for the killers to turn up.
One cited point for this movie is it stars Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley. I recognise the former, not the latter. It also features some other people... who seem vacuous and annoying, so good acting? There are some decent practical effects, but nothing that amazing.
Just not impressive. Another movie to toss on the pile.
[END]
Thursday, 7 July 2016
Ole 37
Wednesday, 6 July 2016
Centrel Intellegence
Oh, it's a classic comedy where we are supposed to believe that Kevin Hart can be a secret agent.
The best senior in high school grew up to be an accountant, and isn't happy with his life. A random facebook like joins him back up with the big fat kid who got humiliated in school (by everyone except the best senior ever), and it turns out the fat kid is now the Rock. The Rock leads Hart through various escapades in which Hart can be the "comedian" while the Rock does all the action shots. But there are many twists and turns and... while I will give the film high marks for ambiguity, I can't say I really cared about them by the end.
Kevin Hart is a comedian that works best in small doses, but here it's in large doses. The Rock works well... well, not in comedies, but he does give it a good go. You can see where a lot of this story is going, at least in terms of the jokes, because they do attempt to give it a go to make the story at least a little bit confused. That said, I would love to watch a movie that actually goes the whole hog with that premise, but here it's about amusing the audience, not making them think.
Not a terrible movie, but be ready for what you are going to get.
[END]
Tuesday, 5 July 2016
Medium Cool
I'm not sure if this is a satirical take on news crews or not. Either way, it is Medium Cool.
In the lead up to the 1968 Democratic National Convention, we follow a news crew as they capture the voice of the people. Which involves going out and getting footage, and chasing away kids from their cars. Fortunately, that one kid has a mother that the news cameraman finds interesting, and slowly they form a relationship. When the kid goes missing, she looks for the cameraman to get help (after looking for the kid herself), and they get caught up in the protest outside the convention.
Are news crews divorced from reality? Are they only interested in the shot, regardless of what the shot actually is? If someone is hurt, then they are there for the shot, not there to help. That's what this movie is on about, and contrasts this with the news cameraman actually getting into a relationship. And once that happens, he moves to the other side of the camera...
I'm not sure I got the point of this. It was part document, part drama, and it wasn't entirely clear to me what it was trying for. And yet this seems popular, so clearly I'm missing something.
[END]
Monday, 4 July 2016
Easy Buzzfeed Article
First step, go back several decades.
Second, pick some random "big thing" from that time.
Third, pick some actors from that thing, and get shots of them in their classic poses/outfits.
Fourth, get photos of them from the current day. (So it helps if they are still alive.)
Put them side by side, and set up one page per set with a billion ads from other places.
Title it "You Won't Believe What [Character name] Looks Like Now!"
Publish.
????
Profit.
[END]
Sunday, 3 July 2016
Schlock Lock
Ah, back to the basics. A shark, a lake, it writes itself!
In one movie, a bad guy is running away from the police, and dumps a shark into a lake. Five years later, it and two young are swimming around attacking people, in bad CGI effects. (There’s one absolutely terrible moment where it looks like two divers are superimposed onto a lake scene. There’s no reason for it not to be real, but it looks incredibly fake.) Eventually, the bad guy has to side with the police to take the shark out.
In another movie, a bad guy is taken away by the police, leaving his daughter who is then adopted by one of the police officers. The bad guy gets out, and the new mother wants them to have nothing to do with each other, but of course the daughter is interested, and gets back with the bad guy and gets into trouble, and the two of them have to pair up to save her.
If any of these stories happen to overlap in the same movie, it’s pure coincidence. At least these stories have Dolph Lungren in them, improperly cast as he is for some random reason. And I’ve already mentioned the bad CGI.
Another movie to easily skip.
[END]
Saturday, 2 July 2016
Caddyschlock
A wee break before I get into the next series. I've heard a lot about this great comedy movie, so let's watch it for the first time!
The caddies at this shack have bigger ambitions than just caddying for people. One in particular tries to smooze up to one of the patrons in get on his more professional program. At the same time, various patrons rub each other up the wrong way in various comedic ways. And then there's the groundskeeper who is dealing with a gopher infestation. They all come together as people decide who they really want to be in a final showdown between golfers.
This it the great classic comedy, and features Harold Ramis as one of the writers so you know it's going to be good. There was one small problem... not one of the jokes landed for me. Not once was I even amused. Bemused, yes, but that's as far as it got. Frankly, it made me yearn to rewatch Tin Cup, which was a better movie for me. Even Bill Murray couldn't raise a smile here.
And there's a sequel which is apparently worse...
[END]
Friday, 1 July 2016
Moonbase 3.4
Ah, the pressure of scientific progress in the face of monetary justification.
This episode focuses on Pete and Stephen as they try to complete scientific experiments to help justify the presence of the Moonbase. However, Stephen's experiments aren't exactly running according to schedule, and Pete is having problems actually caring. One is successful, and the other is... less so. But face must be saved, despite whatever happens.
Another episode that doesn't cover the usual sort of topics. This is all about the thrill of scientific endeavour, and the pressures that places on people. Do they knuckle down? Or do they decide there is something better in life? This presents both views, without taking any side on which is better. This features some great acting from the two scientist characters' actors, with just holding on to them staring away or pensively. [This also features more dodgy effects, the main one here being the pouring of some kind of metal, which fills up the container... and then is left to spill all over the floor. Er, what?]
Good episode, but they can't all be perfect.
[END]
