Lazer Team

Because this was Rooster Teeth, I backed it. And I had a ticket to the screening in Wellington, but got the date wrong...

Earth is going to be beaten up by a champion from another world, so they raise their own champion. Because of some nice aliens, some gear is sent... but the wrong people get it. A bunch of yahoos. And now they are stuck with having to become the champions, but first they have to work out how to be a team.

Which makes it sound more of a dramatic movie than this is. This is a comedy that doesn't go for the usual laughs of poop jokes and boobies (although there are a non-zero amount). It does take its time and we get some of the usual scenes you'd expect of this sort of thing, and you can see a lot of the beats coming from a mile off, but it's still nice and works well.

You'll spot a fair few Rooster Teeth familiar faces. Three of the main leads are RT employees, and others crop up in minor roles. The effects are well done, and it's clear the production team know what they are doing.

The main point is... it's funny and classic. And you can grab it.

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Friday the 9th

This is the one most people remember. It's the one that opens with the young woman vulnerable in the cabin... who then leads Jason to getting taken down by the cops. And the medical guy eats Jason's heart.

This is also one of the more non-Jason movies, as Jason is able to suddenly jump from one body to another. And then again, this is really Jason in that it tries to give even more backstory. Jason has a house! And a sister! Who had her own family! And only a Voorhees family member can really kill Jason! And only through a Voorhees family member can he be reborn! Despite him never a) jumping bodies before, b) trying to be reborn, or c) ever having any evidence even of a family.

This also feels like a melange of different plot ideas. We start with the trope mockery of slasher movies, and we have Jason body jumping, and we have the Voorhees family members, and we have a mercenary trying to get Jason, and we have the town trying to stop one person or another and... it just feels a little too much and like they had the ideas but nothing too solid.

Still, at least we have Erin Gray and Steven Williams. And Kane Hodder gets the cushiest number ever. The effects aren't terrible... but very 90s.

And then we end with the biggest wanted teaser ever!

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Assignment 3

Yeah... of all the episodes, this is the lowest rated for me. There are some great moments, but overall it just fails.

We start with Sapphire and Steel using a lift! Exciting! They come to deal with a time capsule from the future, which is already mixing the formula of the series (such as it is) up. The capsule is under threat of a composite creature they used to move through time, and when S&S get inside, there's man of all time to met them. And Silver, because he turned up to help. S&S use the man to get everyone back, and then send the capsule back and then... we're done!

This episode just feels undercooked. And mixed. There are three capsules, and the creature wants the crew inside to go outside and disrupt the present. And it also turns babies into Changelings to destroy things and get rid of people... so, what's it's plan exactly? Get rid of people or get them to go out? If S&S hadn't turned up, then the creature and the Changeling would have been left inside to do... what? It's not going anywhere and can't run around without looking silly, so... huh?

Yeah, let's talk effects. Everyone remembers the swan of this episode. In the S&S mailing list, we had the chap that made that join up, so immediately everyone mentioned how great it was. Even he admitted it was more what he could do in the time he was given, which is largely the usual issue of most shows. But, for me, worse than that (which is bad) is the acting. Rothwyn and Eldred are just terrible. Neither can act, and Eldred is a complete streak of wiss. They are just not likeable and actively ruin any scene they are in.

Please, no. This one feels like a chore to get through whenever I watch it. Silver is the only new redeeming feature.

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The Re-X-Files

They came back! We thought it was just mythical, but they managed to resurrect!

And... it's like nothing changed. The first episode is just as boringly boring as all the other mythic episodes. Everything we knew was wrong! It's a conspiracy! There's a cover up! I couldn't keep track of how it was all unveiled and how it meant that the X-Files was reopened and the series was back and everyone was back in the same roles they had before... and I just don't care.

The second episode was just as generic as the typical monster of the week. Again everything happens to Mulder and Scully doesn't see anything...

What the hell? Nothing has changed. Why did we bother to bring this back?

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Berdmin

This is one of those movies that got a lot of acclaim when it came out, so I had to eventually get around to seeing it.

Michael Keaton is Michael Keaton as Riggan as Batman as Birdman, and now he's directing and starring in a play. Which suffers a few problems from ego-centric actors, but the play must go on no matter what happens. Until finally the problems the character has seeps too much into Riggan and he gets too into the part.

I'm going to be one of those people that say "I don't really get it." I am impressed by the long moving takes the camera does while scenes play out, but I'm not sure of the full impact of the moments. It feels rather... insider joke to me. You need to know more about the situation of the exact circumstances of what the character is going through, and I don't.

Still, Michael Keaton is decent, and Edward Norton feels overcast as the over the top actor. Emma Stone looks... young, and Zack Galifianakis looks hairy.

I'm sure this is brilliant for some, but doesn't quite resonate with me.

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Jealous Girl

Lennon thought "Run for your life" was the worst song ever, so wrote one about that. And didn't actually do much better.


In this case, he was a jealous guy... no wait, then he says he is a jealous guy. This is the sort of "I didn't mean to hurt you" that can be insidious.

One person admits they have a problem... but don't actually do anything about it, but makes the other think they can change.

None of these are good, but now you can pick a tune for your wrongness.

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House Girl

Let's suger coat the violence, shall we?


Baby, baby, baby, baby... yes, it's Elvis! It's also the origin of the line "I'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man." But it's wrapped up in Elvis' cheery upbeat tune.

Which is how domestic violence can be. The person is all right, really, except for every now and then there's this streak that comes through... that can be hard to spot and then even harder to accept.

But there's still another kind.

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